


The Girl I'm Running From Now

by MystBlBk



Category: Glee, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, F/M, High School, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2019-10-10 20:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17432783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MystBlBk/pseuds/MystBlBk
Summary: Kara.The girl that took my breath away with just one glance.The girl that ultimately would take my heart and never return it.The girl I’m running from now.





	1. State Test

**PRESENT DAY**

Sunlight filtered through thin curtains hitting me directly on the face. I furrow my eyebrows as I try to gain my barrings. Slowly, I open my eyes and stare up at the white ceiling. I glance around the room and see that I’m in an unknown room. Finally, I’m fully awake and start to feel groggy and taste of remains of whiskey on my breath. As I try to get up, a strong hand holds tight onto my waist. I look over to see who’s bed I’m in. My eyes widen and my stomach begins to roll like a washing machine, ready to empty its contents at any moment, as my mind processess the nude form on top of me.

In the bed with me is a beautiful brunette. Her pale skin is warm to the touch and her face, usually hard and serious, is now soft and peaceful.

The sight only makes my head spin further.

Alex Danvers. I’m in bed with Alex Danvers. The sister of the woman I love. 

_I am screwed._

I carefully remove the woman’s arm from around me and adjust the pillow I was lying on so she could hug to her body. I quickly look around the room for my clothes and find almost all of my outfit from last night, except for the ankle boots I was wearing. I quietly make my way out of the bedroom and to the living room. In a matter of minutes, I grab and put on my boots, making sure to pull on my leather jacket and pull my phone out of my pocket. I run out of the apartment, making sure the door does not slam behind me and make my way outside the building. 

I breathe deeply in an attempt to calm myself down, before calling for an Uber. I tap my right foot urgently as I wait the five minutes for the driver to arrive. The driver arrives on time and I practically throw myself into the back seat, locking the door for good measure. The man dosesn’t say a word, thankfully, and drives me to my apartment. The drive I quick and silent, a perfect atmosphere to allow me to further wallow in my guilt and disgust at my actions. The second we reach the apartment, I thank the man and run out and into my building. The stairs move quickly under my feet as I run up to my apartment. 

I yank out my key and open my door with a loud bang. I begin to panic further as the sound of Kara’s ringtone fills the air. I shake my head, willing for her to stop calling. She blesses me by leaving me a voice message. I pull out the phone and ignore the icon. I quickly call my landlord an let him know I will be leaving later today. He covers his surprise by saying he would be keeping the deposit. I agree and tell him I’ll be leaving him the keys on the kitchen island before abruptly hanging up. 

I take a moment to pull out an iced coffee I had been saving in the back of my fridge and chug it down. As I drank I came to the conclusion that I had to leave much earlier then I had planned. I was waiting to leave after the wedding but now I knew I had to make a move, quickly. I toss the glass bottle in the recycling and quickly make up my mind on where to go.

I take a few minutes to look through my phone and find the email about a job in Colorado I had received earlier in the week. I quickly email the employer back and look for apartments for rent near the school. After sending an email to a few landlords about some open places, I grab the keys to my Jeep Wrangler and lock up before running back down and into my car. It only takes a few minutes until I make it to my destination. I pull up quickly and park near the entrance. Not missing a beat, I lock up the Jeep and head inside.

An older man, around forty, looks up from the desk he is behind and smiles kindly at me. My serious look must have startled him as he careful speaks up once I’m in front of him.

“How can I help you?”

“I need a trailer. Big enough to store the furniture and boxes for a one bedroom apartment. I need it today,” I explain.

The man stares at me for a moment then turns to the computer. I tap my foot, waiting for him to finish. He turns back to me, a long slip of paper in his right hand.

“This is the lease. You have four days to bring it back. The price depends on where you will be dropping it off,” 

“Colorado,” I cut him off, “Durango, Colorado. Also, I’d like twenty moving boxes, large in size, and if you can direct me to someone who can pack up my belongings.”

The man proceeds to stare at me for another beat then turns back to the computer. Fifteen minutes later, I have a slip of paper in my hand and a trailer hitched onto my Jeep. I quickly make my way back to the apartment, having dialed the number the store’s attendant had given me on the way there, ready to wait for the four men that would help put in the furniture inside the trailer. The whole moving process finishes right as the clock strikes 2oclock with the help of the men, all the boxes I had packed up were also placed into the trailer along with my furniture.

I look around the apartment, satisfied that there is nothing inside and make my way down the stairs and into my Jeep. I breathe a sigh of relief as I tun the keys and the motor comes to life with a loud purr. I wait a moment for the oil to circulate in the vehicle before pulling out of the spot and out of the building’s parking. Just as I stop at the traffic light next to the building I make out a grey Hybrid turn on the street. My eyes widen in fear and I quickly maneuver my way out of the street and onto a side road. My foot presses har on the gas as the house past by me, trying to escape from being seen by the owner of the Hybrid. 

I make my way out of that part of the neighborhood and I make my way into the parking lot of a Walmart. Making sure I find a spot easily able to move out of, I park and turn off the engine. My breathing heaves heavily as I try to grasp my bearings. My breathing finally calms and I can feel the Jeep’s cabin slowly become cool from the outside temperature. Just as I’m getting ready to leave the Jeep and make a quick journey into the store, my phone starts ringing.  
On the screen of my phone is Kara’s face, bright and happy as always. I just watch it ring for a few minutes until the call is forwarded to voicemail. I carefully take the phone and lock it inside the Jeep’s passenger compartment. 

The trip through Walmart is quick and through. I pull out dozens of packets of sunflower seeds, chips, sodas, energy drinks, and basically any junk food that would keep me awake on my trip. It takes another few minutes to pay for my bounty and reach my Jeep. I can hear the phone ringing again as I pull out of the parking lot. I shake my head, refusing to answer and make my way out of the city. It takes forty-five minutes to leave the city and another hour to leave the state. My breathing had quickened when I saw the sign that said ‘Leaving Midvale, California’ and finally steadied when seeing the ‘Entering San Diego, California’ sign approaching fast next to the road. The phone keeps ringing after each hour on the road as if keeping track of how far away I was getting. It was getting so aggravating that I turned the phone on to ‘Airplain Mode.’ 

I finally made it to Yuma, Arizona after five hours. Checking on the dashboard I notice I only had half the tank full, so I pull over to a gas station and fill up the tank. I’m quickly on the road again after a quick trip to the woman’s room. I finally felt free from the suffocating air that had surrounded me this morning.

Had suffocated me from the first time I met her.

The first time I met Kara.

The first time I knew my life no longer was my own. 

_____________________________________________________________

**MIDVALE, CALIFORNIA  
**

****7 YEARS AGO** **

My father’s business, Luthor Corp, had exploded with wealth and over time Lex had decided to follow in his footsteps. It began a competition between us, Lex and I. I had lost the war and the love for STEM quickly after Aunt Mercy had announced Lex the winner and I the loser. It was obvious she decided to take mother’s side in placing Lex on a pedestal and me lonely lovechild that would only bring shame to the Luthor family name. I had gotten into a verbal fight with my mother directly after that, effectively sending me to live with my cousin Sam and Aunt Patricia in Midvale to prevent me from causing another scene with her.

I was taken out of my previous school, a boarding school in Scotland, and sent into public school. I truly hoped Midvale High School would be the first and last public school I would attend. The school was nice in appearance, its only fault was that it was infested with teenage hormones and idiocity, a thing I had escaped by being sent to a school of rich kids. My only saving grace was Sam, who was my own age and would share classes with me from time to time.

I had gotten through my first week of school, only to be told that we would have to take practice state tests at the end of the week and into the next. By that first Friday of school, I was done with public school. The students were annoyingly stupid, rude, filled with gossip and overall overgrown puppies that could not take any direction whatsoever. I remember my feet dragging as I walked into the test room, a room used of upperclassmen English AP and Dual Credit classes. The smell of well-read books hung in the air and relaxed me as I took my designated seat. I sat there waiting for the last few minutes before the bell rang for us to start the day. My mind ultimate started ranting about the tests, my finger running over the book I had in my hands.

_State tests. They have no point really. The only point was to make up a paper trail to the government that the state was doing their job in giving an education to the masses. It was silly really, especially since it did no go to the actual impact of our culture. All it did was to create a system of creating mindless humans that could dictate all fifty states in one song!_

My mind continued to rant and seethe in anger and annoyance when chatter from outside made its way inside the room. I rolled my eyes.

_Noise! Do they always have to make a scene? Do they not know that they look ridiculous shouting halfway across the hallway?_

I slowly turn my head to the door at the end of the room and watch as a boy with spiky hair and pale skin laughing loudly with another boy, this one obviously Asian had fair skin and short curly hair. They both stopped at the entrance and turn around.

"Come on Kara,” the Asin boy shouted exasperated, “We gotta start soon!”

My right eye twitches with annoyance as the other boy shout for this Kara person to hurry up. I shake my head and decide to turn back to my book when a figure makes its way into the entrance behind the two boys.

_What?_

My breath catches as a girl carrying a book in her hands stops next to the two boys. 

Time stops.

I can’t breathe.

My heart for some reason skips a beat then hurridly runs forward in a sprint.

I can feel my face warm up all the way down to my neck and to the tops of my ears.

My eyes move on their own as they look over the teenager. The girl is tall, about half a foot taller than me. Her soft face has a shy expression as if embarrassed by the actions of her friends shouting. Her glasses frame her face perfectly, lining up just below her soft eyebrows. He hair flows in soft curls over her shoulders, a lovely shade of honey in color. She looks small in the large grey sweatshirt she is in, the oversized bellbottom jeans helped as well. On her feet were a pair of vans, no longer white as there were now scribbles and doodles drawn onto the surface.

I try to hold a gasp as her dazing blue eyes somehow catch my stare. She stares back at me for a few seconds until my mind catches onto my rational actions and I quickly turn back around to the front of the room, pretending the beautiful girl doesn’t exist.

I can hear them move to their seat. For some reason, a voice inside of me pleads that she be placed in a seat in front of me. My silent prayer is answered when she takes a seat three seats in front and a row to the right of me. A small smile makes it’s way on my face as I see her fumble through her book, looking for a pencil she brought. The bell rings and we all get ready to be given the testing packets, my eyes glancing every few minutes to the blonde.

The day goes on, the tests are passed, and I finish within two hours. Usually, I could finish the whole sixty question tests in one hour, but my continued staring at the girl make makes my mind go blank for a moment before I quickly gather my thoughts and go on the next ten questions or so only to restart the process all over again. Long after I turned in my test, to the annoyance of all students in the room as I was the first to finish, I would read my book and look up to the girl again. A vicious circle that continued well into the day and finally ended when lunch finished and anyone was allowed to leave. 

The following two days passed by just the same. She would enter the room, and my mind would no longer belong to me. She would glance over at me a few times from her seat. My heart soar when she did, as she would give me a soft smile and I, in a panic, would look away with a furious blush on my cheeks.

It's a pain to have my conscious leave me due to this girl during those three days.

It was annoying.

It was not me.

It was exhilarating.

It was the first time I had ever felt my heart pound with want and need.

It's my first love.

And all I knew was her first name.

Kara.

The girl that took my breathe away with just one glance.

The girl that ultimately would take my heart and never return it.

The girl I’m running from now.


	2. Useless Baby Gay

**LAST NIGHT**

The door slammed as I shoved Alex against the door, effectively closing it. Her hazel eyes darkened further as I began to grind against her. Her breath shudders against my face as I continue to stare her down as if she were my pray.

And she is.

I lower my head and begin to suck and lick and kiss the strong muscles under her chin then slowly move down her neck. Groans, moans, and hisses are my rewards for my efforts. A smirk makes its way onto my lips as the oldest Danvers sister proceeds to take hold of my jacket in an effort to pull me closer. I oblige and grind against her while kissing down to her collar bone. I scrape my teeth against the tender skin I find there then do the same down her neck, then up the other side leading to her earlobe. My teeth hold the soft lobe as their prisoner while I shove her against the door again, another groan comes from the RN. 

“What do you want,” I whisper from my position, “Tell me.”

Alex merely groans and spreads her legs to allow me to stand between them. My smirk turns into a wolf-like grin as I slowly drag my hands from her hips, down to her thighs and finally over her ass to pull her up against my hips. Alex begins desperately pulling off my jacket, I help her and take off my boots for good measure. Once I’m left in only my jeans and a t-shirt, I pull her blouse out from her pants and drag my hands up her back. A snap sounds in the room as I playfully pull on her bra, a whimper leaves her lips at the action

“Up,” I whisper lustfully, “Come on baby. Up.”

Alex nods quickly and helps me pull her up. She uses her arms and legs to wrap around me, allowing me to carry her easier with my hand under her ass. I continue my affections, kissing her pulse, over her collarbone, nipping her ears, and running my hands over her firm ass.

“Bedroom,” the woman gasps, “Please!”

I chuckle but say nothing as I pull her tighter to me and walk us to her bedroom, her long legs crossing behind my back like a koala to hold on tight. The room is dark, just as the entrance was, but I don’t care. I drop the sexy woman on her bed and allow myself to take in the sight. 

Alex, in a flowy white blouse and mid-thigh navy skirt with fuck-me-heels on her delicate feet, lay heaving on soft cream blankets while giving me a bedroom eyes from her position. 

Her doe eyes plead for me to touch her.

To take her.

To make her mine just for this one night.

To betray my cousin and her sister by defile her sweet body.

A pleased shiver makes its way down my spine and to my center as I think about finally having a Danvers in my arms. 

Albiate, not the one I want, but a Danvers none-the-less. 

I grin down and the woman and slowly kneel down at the edge of the bed. My eyes don’t leave hers as I caress her calves and kiss the stong muscles down to her knees then back up. I slowly unclip her right heel then do the same to its partner. The shoes make a soft thump once the hit the floor, but it’s background noise at this point. Especially since I slowly kiss up Alex’s legs until I reach the edge of her skirt. I smirk as she runs her fingers through my loose hair, a silent plea for me to continue. 

“Don’t worry, love,” I chuckle, “You're going to enjoy this.”

Alex tugs a strand of my hair, “I better.”

I nip her right knee then turn to look at her with a lustful stare, “You will.”

Before Alex can say anything, my hands slowly un-button her skirt and pull it down. I throw the skirt over my shoulder, not caring where it fell, and continue my onslaught of kisses and nips up creamy thighs until I’m only a few kisses away from her black panties. My hair is tugged at again but I don’t move, I just continue caressing her legs. A groan makes me look up to my lover for the night, Alex’s expression shows how impatient she is. I shake my head, amused and prideful I could make her feel that way.

“Sit up,” I demand sitting up myself, “I need you naked. Now.”

Alex huffs, clearly not liking the fact that a younger woman is giving her direction, but does as I say. Once she is sitting, I tug the white blouse off her.

The sight of her chest makes me stop and stare for a few minutes. The sight of her soft creamy breast unleashes the demon in me that I lock away until I need it for moments like this. It’s a blur of movement as I push her down onto the mattress, pulling a cup down and taking a dusty nipple into my mouth. Alex groans as I pull the other cup down and start massaging her other breast. I alternate from one breast to the other, slowly driving the woman crazy with lust. My hands slowly take off her bra while my mouth keeps busy.

Its another tug to my hair that makes me move on. I take my time kissing down her abs and to her center. She’s bare and soft under my lips. I follow the natural dips and curves of her sex with my lips, teasing her and gaining courage so I can continue. Finally, I close my eyes tightly and let go. 

I give her my lust.

I give her my love.

I give her my passion.

I give her every emotion I could muster.

I give her what belongs to Kara but what now belongs to her at this moment.

My tongue runs along her outer folds then her inner folds, gasps fill the air to accompany the lustful scent that surrounds me. I lick through her folds sweetly, lovingly, devotedly. The curves, dips, and folds, slick with her flavor and now my saliva. Meanwhile, I let my hands run up her inner thighs and smoothly back up to her center, keeping her senses on edge. A strong hand pulls on my hair, directing me to go further. I groan as her silky juices flow down my chin, enjoying this action just as much as she does. I roll my tongue around her entrance, close but not inside where she wants me, a promise of what’s to come.

Finally, I give Alex what she needs. I begin to suck on her clit while I slowly enter her with one of my fingers. She groans as I slowly thrust into her, kissing her thighs then returning to her clit every so often. I push in a second finger, then a third. I’m building up speed inside her as she squirms and yanks on my hair. 

It feels good, to feel wanted. That’s why I do this. To feel wanted by someone even if it’s not from the person I want to hear it from. It’s bittersweet that underneath me is a Danvers woman. A gorgeous breed of human that can only compare to ones written by poets. She’s beautiful and smart, everything anyone could ask for; anyone but me.

I softly shake my head, effectively bringing me back to this moment and place. 

I glance up to see Alex’s back arch as she approaches her first orgasm. I smile, satisfied that I’m pleasing her well. Her whole body shudders as her pleasure surges then begin again as I return to licking her entrance. I enjoy her taste for another few minutes before using my hands to tug on her nipples, sharp pain to accompany her pleasure. She comes again and the monster inside me roars to life louder, needing more from the woman under me. Another blur of movement and I have her on her knees and hands. I drape my body over her slowly, letting her feel the texture of my rough clothes over her naked skin. Alex simply groans in pleasure at the naughty gesture. My lips drag over her spine and on her neck, I find a soft spot and nip her skin.

“Oh god,” the woman groans, “Please!”

I chuckle, “That’s not my name, but I’m flattered.”

I can tell the woman is about to nag me so I rake my nails over her sensitive inner thighs from the front and just linger close to her lower lips. She gasps and I smirk against her shoulder. 

“Don’t hold back, love,” I whisper, “I love hearing your lovely voice.”

“I—OH FUCK!”

Just as intended, my sudden entrance from this position makes her scream for release. She pushes her ass against my front as I take her from behind. Seeing that she is still standing, I push in deeper into her and making her release all the air in her lungs. Alex falls forward and grips tightly the sheets underneath us. My fingers thrust into her harder, curling against the sweet spot that is hidden inside. My movements get faster and my left hand caresses Alex’s abs, aiding her to her next release. 

“OH! YES _LENA!_ ”

A growl leaves my lips as silky wet muscles contract around my fingers again. I nip the length of her spine and wait for her to relax. Her fast panting slowly calms and turn into hiccups. I kiss her shoulder softly before pulling myself up and her laying fully face down on the bed, right hand now covered with the RN's juices. She dosen’t move from the bed, soft snores make their way out of her. 

I knocked her out. 

Like all the others.

I sigh heavily and walk out of the room in search for anything to make me fall asleep too. I find a bottle of whiskey in a cabinet and chug three fingers worth on my way back to the sleeping brunette. I watch from the doorway as she shift from the cold. My senses return to me a little from that shiver, so I move her under the sheets and make sure she’s warm and safe. Once I’m satisfied with my task I begin to undress, the California heat not helping the lustful sweat my skin produced. I sit on the bed for another three finger worths of liquor, petting Alex’s sweaty back every few gulps. Once the liquor hits me hard enough, I make myself at home next to Alex. I close my eyes and let the darkness take me.

The demon is sated.

For now.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**PRESENT**

The memory of last night plays over in my mind like a hit song on the radio, plays for a moment then returns in another hour. Before I know it, I' m in Phoenix a few minutes before 10:30 pm. The bright lights of the city hurt my eyes as I had gotten used to the dark skies above. I look around to find a place to stay for the night. I may be desperate to reach my new safe haven, but that didn’t mean I wanted to cause an accident on the road. I pulled up to a Travelodge and checking in for the night, on my way out of the lobby and up the elevator I see the many pamphlets for the city and nearby towns in a large wooden shelf. 

One of the pamphlets catches my eyes so I grab a copy and make my way up to my room, small bag over my shoulder. 

The room tastes stale, most likely from the desert air, but it’s cool and has a soft bed to lay in. I make my way to the closest outlet and connect my phone, ignoring the multitude of pending voicemails and texts. I turn back to my bag and pull out a pair of grey basketball shorts and an old blue rock band t-shirt. 

_A hot shower should calm me down. I hope._

The tile is cold under my feet as I undress inside the small bathroom. I pull my clothes off, the same clothes from last night, and proceed to turn on the hot water then turn on the cold to balance it out. I jump inside the shower and turn my back to the spraying water, hands placed on the ice cold tile in front of me. I stare forward trying to not think for one moment since this morning, but again my mind betrays me and I’m pulled into another memory.

This one made me chuckle at my ability of being a useless baby gay.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

**MIDVALE, CALIFORNIA**  
**6 YEARS AGO**

It took a whole year for me to see her again, we weren’t placed in the same testing room for the actual state testing at the end of the year. It was an accident really. I had come to accept that my family would no longer care for whatever I did, so I had started taking easy classes. No AP no Dual Credit, just regular classes with regular students. It seems my tactic was obvious to my guidance counselor as I was placed in AP classes the following year. Math, History, Chemistry, and thankfully English.

I remember that first day of school. Walking in wearing my usual black and crimson attire, brooding as I made my way to first period. 

“Lena!”

My eyes rolled as Winn called for me as I walked into English class. I had managed to somehow become friends with him during Biology during freshman year. We were made partners as we were the only two that didn’t pick out anyone to work with. Though it wasn’t a real friendship. It was more of a symbiotic relationship. I would not pay attention during class, he would give me his notes to copy and I would do all the lab work as he was very disgusted with touching any live animals. 

“Hi Winn,” I groan once I take a seat behind him.

The boy quickly turns around his seat to speak to me, curly hair flopping as he did.

“Hi! How was your summer? Did you and your sister hand out at the beach? Kara, my friends, her sister Alex had their older brother Clark visit form Metropolis. He took us to Disney! Can you believe it,” Winn blabbered on, “It was awesome! Alex made us ride Space Mountain like five times. I swear I was gonna hurl—”

“Okay! Stop,” I grab his shoulder tightly to shut him up, “First of all, Sam is my cousin. Second, no I don’t go to the beach. I’ll burn. And lastly, I don’t want to hear about your bodily fluids.”

Winn pouts, “I said throw up, not pee.”

“Close enough,” I sigh.

“What’s close enough?”

_Oh sweet baby Jesus! Why?!_

Kara stood in front of our row, hands pulling at the straps of her purple backpack. She wore a long sleeve shirt, a soft blue shade. Acid washed skinny jeans and a pair of yellow Converse. I stared at her drawing attention to me. She shifts as my stare becomes intense. I look away from her and try to hold down the blush rising to my cheeks. 

_Get it together Luthor!_

“Hi Kara,” Winn greets, “I didn’t know you had this class. Come sit with us!”

_NO! PLEASE! NO!_

“Sure.”

I slowly lower my head onto my desk and softly bang it against the cold surface.

_I can barely handle you ten feet away for a period of thirty-six hours in a span of three days! Who says I’ll be able to handle you, three feet away every day for the next year?!_

“This is Lena. Lena says ‘hi’ to Kara,” Winn pats my head.

I knock his hand off my head, “Hi to Kara.”

Winn scoffs, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

I narrow my eyes at the boy and glance over at the blonde who is now sitting in the seat to the right of Winn. Kara slowly meets my eyes and we stay staring at each other for a few seconds.

_MAN UP!_

“Hi,” I mumble pulling out my hand for a shake, “Lena Luthor.”

Ocean blue eyes suddenly sparkle at me in recognition.

“Oh,” the blonde gasps, “Luthor as in Lex Luthor? Are you Lex’s sister? My brother interviewed him in Metropolis once.”

A hot angry wave of bitterness takes over me.

I narrow my eyes and practically growl back at her “I don’t have a brother.

Kara blinks slowly, processing this information then nods slowly.

“Oh, okay,” she takes my hand in hers and shakes it, “Kara Danvers. Nice to meet you.”

I huff then drop her hand as if burned then turn back to my textbook, forcing myself to look through the pages instead of the confused and worried look the blonde is giving me.

“She is like that. You’ll get used to it,” Winn snickers, “So what classes do you have?”

A crimpling of paper sounds in front of me, “Here’s my schedule.”

“Alright.”

I stare down at poems from Robert Forst, pretending it’s interesting.

Obviously not eavesdropping.

Definitely not eavesdropping.

Totally eavesdropping.

_I’m such a pathetic piece of—_

“Oh wow! All your main classes are AP! Just like mine,” Winn gasps, “We have two other classes together. Wait. Lena, can I see your classes?”

_NO! NO! NEVER IN A MILLION Y—_

“Oh. I wanna see too.

_WHY?! I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU!_

Irritated, I sit up ready to glare at them both when soft blue eyes stare at me.

I’m frozen in place as she watches me, soft kind eyes curious as to how I would react. My right eye twitches again, as I try to hold onto my choice to tell them off. But I can’t get myself to glare at the puppy-like teenager watching me. I can't force myself to cuss her out or say a snarky comment to her.

All I can do is stare.

Time passes by and I still don’t move.

“Lena?”

I shake my head to gather my thoughts then turn to Winn, full on glare on display. Winn shivers, scared at my attention on him.

_It works on him. Good. I'm not broken._

“Why the hell should I give you my—”

“Please?”

I stiffen as Kara’s voice makes its way into my ear canal. It’s as if a strike of lightning has hit me and makes my whole being vibrate.

_WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU LENA LUTHOR?! TELL HER OFF!_

I feel desperate as if standing at the edge of a cliff. I have no idea or control of what I’m feeling. I look away and hand the girl my binder with my schedule.

“No fair! Why’d you give it to Kara?”

_I DON’T KNOW!_

And I wouldn’t know. 

Until Kara dated her first boyfriend later that year.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

**PRESENT**

The water was starting to come out of the pipes cold so I finished my shower and make my way back to the main room. The towel around my body was small so I quickly put on my sleeping clothes to prevent me from shivering.

“What to do,” I ask, voice rough from not speaking much during the day.

I look around and see the small television then my car keys catch my eye. I make my decision and put on the sneakers I brought up with me and turn on the tv to have some form of light in the room. A quick trip down to my Jeep and I’m looking through my trunk searching for the long black case that I put inside last. Once I find the case, I take it out and lock up the Jeep. The trek back up to my room is short and uneventful.

The room is now slightly steamy from the hot water I used earlier and is bathed by the soft glow of the evening news. It feels stuffy so I open the window and place the black case on the hotel bed. The sounds of scraping metal feel comfortable as I open the case and look down at the instrument inside.

My sunburst Fender guitar greets me, giving me a feeling of comfort that I desperately need. I gently pull her out and test the strings, making sure she wasn’t harmed from the trip. Once satisfied with her appearance and sound, I close my eyes and tune the guitar. The familiar sounds make my once noisy mind quiet and focus on the notes. A smile makes its way onto my face after strumming all the strings in one downward motion, perfect pitch.

I open my eyes and all my comfort is taken from me. A picture taped onto the inside of the case brings back my inner turmoil. It’s a picture of Winn, Kara and I from Junior year. We’re inside the school auditorium, hugging and smiling down at the photographer from our position on top of the old creeky stage. We looked so young then.

The strings and wood of my guitar squeak in distress as my left-hand clutches the neck tightly. The sudden noise reminds me of her placement in my hands so I ease my grip and exhale deeply. I look down at the old instrument, over a decade old she's been with me, and smile sadly at it as if it were alive.

“Sorry girl,” I apologize to the instrument, “Let’s see, what should we play?”

I stum her again and a song comes to my mind. I start the beginning stums all the while trying to hold my tears in so they won’t be herd in the song.

_**All the leaves on the Giving tree have fallen** _

_**No shade to crawl in underneath** _

_**I’ve got scars from a pocket knife** _

_**Where you carved your heart into me** _

I close my eyes and let memories take me. Behind my eyes, I see days of singing to Kara in the school’s quad during lunches. I see her laugh at my stupid jokes. I see myself defend her from the likes of Belinda, Josie, and Vicki.

_**If all you wanted was love** _

_**Why would you use me up** _

_**Cut me down, build a boat, and sail away** _

_**When all I wanted to be was your giving tree** _

_**Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?** _

My voice becomes softer as I remember exchanges of presents during birthdays and holidays. Valentine's Day, in particular, made my heart hurt a little bit more. She never really did thank me for those roses I gave her.

_**I lie in the dead of night and I wonder** _

_**Whose covers you're between** _

_**And it's sad laying in his bed** _

_**You feel hollow, so you crawl home back to me** _

Long nights filled with writing my feelings down as songs, poems, or short stories and then hiding the documents in hidden folders on thumb drives. Long nights of drawing portraits of the blonde made by memory, only to burn them up during Sam and I’s weekend bonfire nights

_**If all you wanted was love** _

_**Why would you use me up** _

_**Cut me down, build a boat, and sail away** _

_**When all I wanted to be was your giving tree  
** _

_**_**Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?** _ ** _

I feel my teeth grind slightly as I remember her constant flirting with me during class, only to deny ever doing it in the first place later during lunch. Having girls and a few boys follow me every move and then glare at Kara for her luck to have my undivided attention. I remember her confusion as to their actions but being fully aware she knew the reason.

_**Well, I see a trail that starts**_

_**A line of broken hearts behind you** _

_**That lead you back to me** _

_**The once sad and lonely fool** _

_**With nothing left but roots to show, oh**_

_”Hey guys, this is Mike Matthews. He just moved here from Seattle. I invited him to eat with us, okay?”_

_**If all you wanted was love** _

_**Why would you use me up**_  


_**Cut me down, build a boat, and sail away** _

_**When all I wanted to be was your giving tree** _

_**Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?**_

_**Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?** _

_”Lena guess what? Mike asked me out! Can you believe it? I was really hoping he would remember me telling you last week? Oh god, what do I wear?_

The final notes linger, vibrating in the room for a few seconds then leaving completely. I look down at my guitar and see a few tears pepper the black surface. I place the guitar in its case then close it and move it over to the small table under the window. I stay there standing in the middle of the room, allowing my mind to wander. I growl in annoyance then pull the sheets off the bed and get in.

“Let’s hope I get some peace of mind this time,” I whisper in the darkness.

I don’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is 'The Giving Tree' by the Plain White T's.


	3. Oh Sandy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gease inspired chapter!
> 
> Songs used:  
> Gease(Is The Word)--Frankie Valli  
> Those Magic Changes--Sha Na Na  
> Sandy--John Travolta

I groan as the sunlight beams into the room, effectively awakening me. I blink rapidly trying to fully wake up. Suddenly my phone starts yelling at me to answer. A groan leaves me as I sit up and crawl over to the end of the bed, my shirt pulling up as I reach for my phone. I look down at the screen and see that Winn is calling. Biting my lip, I try to decide if I should answer or not. Finally, I roll my eyes and turn off the phone completely but not before I wipe the memory. I throw it away in the small trash bin next to the bed.

I force myself to get up and start my day. An empty feeling follows me as I take another hot shower. No memory finds its way into my mind as I go on with my day. I get dressed in similar clothes as yesterday, a black-V-neck with jeans and Vans. As I’m packing up the rest of the things, I brought I see the pamphlet I picked up and decide to not go through with the spur of the moment trip. 

I take my bag and guitar case and leave the room empty except for the trashcan that had my phone sitting at the top. After a quick pop in to leave the key at the front desk and grab a coffee and donut, I’m on the road to the next city. Flagstaff, Arizona. As I’m picking up speed and dirt on my Jeep wheels, the quiet becomes unnerving so I pull out one of the few CD I have in my ownership and put it inside the player. The sounds of a groovy beat fill the cabin. 

_**I solve my problems and I see the light** _  
_**We got a lovin' thing, we gotta feed it right** _  
_**There ain't no danger we can go too far** _  
_**We start believing now that we can be what we are** _  
_**Grease is the word** _

___________________________________________________. 

_**They think our love is just a growing pain** _  
_**Why don't they understand, it's just a crying shame** _  
_**Their lips are lying only real is real** _  
_**We stop the fight right now, we got to be what we feel** _  
_**Grease is the word** _

By the time we were two months into Sophomore year, Kara and I had become great friends. We worked very well and had a system of working in our classes as well. Kara was always ready to speak up her mind and I was always the quiet one ready to strike if anyone tried to confront Kara. It worked well, like Ying and Yang. The blonde also had unknowingly gotten my tied around her pinky finger. I would listen to her without thought. 

This resulted in a series of tragic events. One being joining Journalism Club, Glee Club, and most dreadfully of all Drama Club. 

“Come on Lena,” Kara begged with her dazzling blue eyes, “It’ll be fun! Imagine how much it’ll boost your college applications! You’ll have all those clubs in addition to your Robotics Club. I’ll even go with you for that one!”

You can guess how well I fought with that idea.  
It wasn’t that dreadful really. I would usually do the smallest things. Like taking pictures or editing articles for Journalism. In Glee, I would help by playing the instruments and would also end up doing the same for Drama. It went well until in Drama Club we were forced to audition for the fall production as part of club activities. The fall production of the one and only Grease. 

GREASE!

REALLY?! 

And this time, we all had to sing for a part too! I had never sung in front of others, only Sam by accident as she takes the room next to mine. It was unnerving but as always Kara convinced me otherwise.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I huff next to Winn.

“It’ll be fun Lena,” Winn smiles at me, “It’s just a formal way to tell who’s who.”

I roll my eyes from my position next to the stage. Mr. Espinoza had forced us to line up behind the curtains so we could perform in front of him and the others that had auditioned before. I watch, a blank face covering up my anxiety, as Dave sang a terrible rendition of _Born To Hand Jive_. 

I glance over to the seats and see Kara giggling with her boy toy Cedric, she had performed early with a beautiful rendition of _Hopelessly Devoted To You_. One that had left my heart flying out of my chest. A feeling that would soon turn into one of anger, a now common feeling that fills me whenever I watched Kara with that jock. 

“Alright! Good job Dave,” Mr. E claps his hands, “Who’s next?”

My hands ball up into fists as I notice I’m next in line. 

“Lena?”

I glance over my shoulder to Winn and take a deep breath, “Wish me luck.”

Winn smiles and claps my back as I walk to center stage. Kara glances up and sees me. She turns to the stage and waves at me with an encouraging smile. I nod and focus on our teacher.

“Ah! Ms. Luthor! Great to see you up there for once,” Mr. E’s voice booms, “What will you be signing?”

“Yes, _Those Magic Changes_ ,” I cough, “Can I use my guitar?”

This grabs the attention of the others. I silently cuss myself out for this need of a comfort blanket.

Mr. E grins, “Yes, you may.”

I nod and walk over to Winn, he kindly smiles at me and hands me my guitar. I make my way back to center stage and strum a few chords to check that my leather jacket didn’t make an awkward noise when I played. 

“Whenever you’re ready, Lena.”

I nod and start my strumming. I take a deep breath in before singing.

_**What's that playing on the radio?** _  
_**Why do I start swaying to and fro?** _  
_**I have never heard that song before** _  
_**But if I don't hear it anymore** _

Without thinking I have closed my eyes and start swaying with the song. The piano we were using for auditions comes in and joins my strumming. I let the sad yet sweet song take me over like a supernatural possession of the mind. It’s easy to let go with my eyes closed, so I keep them close and feel the confidence I get when playing envelop me.

_**It's still familiar to me** _  
_**Sends a thrill right through me** _  
_**'Cause those chords remind me of the night that I first fell in love to** _

I feel the song in a new way as if I were the one to write it. Shining blue eyes appear in my mind, encouraging me to sing with my heart. I can feel myself go all out without trying as if it were performance and not an audition.

_**Those magic changes** _  
_**My heart arranges** _  
_**A melody that's never the same** _  
_**A melody that's calling your name** _  
_**And begs you please come back to me** _  
_**Please return to me,** _  
_**Don't go away again,** _  
_**Oh make them play again** _  
_**The music I want to hear as once again** _  
_**You whisper in my ear** _  
_**Oh, my darling uh huh** _

My voice is the only sound in the auditorium and it would have unnerved me but I was so into the song I paid no mind. My eyes open and I slowly walk closer to the edge of the stage and sway in time with my strumming, this time taping the edge of my guitar to add to the tempo. A content smile shines on my face as I continue to sing slowly, my eyes catching Kara’s surprised ones.

_**I'll be waiting by the radio,** _  
_**You'll come back to me someday I know** _  
_**Been so lonesome since our last goodbye** _  
_**But I'm singing as I cry-why-ay** _

A sad smile seeps into the sad lyrics and helps slow down the song for a second before speeding up again. My eyes never leave Kara as her looks of awe and surprise make me feel thrilled at this new feeling of having her undivided attention. I put more emotion into the song and am rewarded by Kara’s excited smile.

_**While the bass is sounding** _  
_**While the drums are pounding** _  
_**Beatings of my broken heart** _  
_**Will rise to first place on the charts** _

I glance around the stands and see a number of girls staring at me with similar looks as Kara. A pain hurts my chest. How can she look at me like that, just like the other girls, but not care?

_**Oh, my heart arranges** _  
_**Oh, those magic changes** _  
_**Oh oh, oh oh oh oh** _  
_**Oh oh, oh oh oh oh** _  
_**Oh, yeah, whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooo** _

The final notes strum through the air as my foot taps the last beat.

The whole room is silent. 

I bite my lip and pray that I didn’t sound like shit.

“Well its true then,” Mr. E smirks.

I raise an eyebrow for him to continue.

“It’s the quiet ones you should look out for,” Mr. E laughs, “Good job Lena! Can I ask for something though?”

I nod, reluctant for what he wants.

“Can you sing _Sandy_ for me? With the piano this time,” Mr. E smiles at me, “And don’t hesitate to use the stage.”

My eyes widen and I look to Winn. My friend smiles and nods for me to continue. I gulp and turn back to the teacher.

“Um, okay.”

I walk to stage right and place my guitar on the piano. I nod to James and turn around ready for the song to start. On the first phrase, I start singing against the piano with as much sadness as I can muster. It’s easy as I sneak a glance at Kara sitting next to Cedric, his arm around her. This somehow pushes me to get her attention again, and this time keep it on me.

_**Stranded at the drivin', branded a fool** _  
_**What will they say Monday at school?** _

I keep my eyes forward from seeing anyone around me. With the livelier beat beginning, I start walking forward and clutching my jacket in fisted hands as if I’m speaking to myself in anguish but also to Sandy. To Kara.

_**Sandy, can't you see I'm in misery?** _  
_**We made a start, now we're apart** _  
_**There's nothing left for me** _

I stop misstep and throw my hands up as if pleading to a higher deity. The song feeling truer than any at this moment. At the word ‘sit’, I crouch down then at the high note of ‘oh Sandy’ I pop back up, the motion unchoreographed but seems to be needed at that moment.

_**Love has flown, all alone I sit and wonder why yi-yi-yi** _  
_**Oh why you left me, oh Sandy, oh Sandy** _

I rush to the center stage and clutch my chest, pushing out the ballad with anger and despair. I take a sharp turn to the left stage then turn back forward singing up to the ceiling tiles at ‘heaven.’ I walk back to center stage, sing-talking the appropriate lyrics once I’m there. 

_**Baby, someday, when high school is done** _  
_**Somehow, someway, our two worlds will be one** _  
_**In heaven forever and ever we will be** _  
_**Oh, please say you'll stay, oh, Sandy!** _

_**Sandy, my darlin'** _  
_**You hurt me real bad** _  
_**You know it's true** _  
_**But, baby, you gotta believe me when I say** _  
_**I'm helpless without you** _

I spread my arms wide and close my eyes as I feel tears building up in my eyes while I start singing again.

_**Love has flown, all alone, I sit** _  
_**I wonder why yi-yi-yi,** _  
_**Oh why** _  
_**You left me,** _  
_**Oh Sandy** _  
_**Sandy, Sandy** _  
_**Why yi-yi-yi** _

My last breathy notes leave a haunting sound through the auditorium.

Again there is no noise, only gawking. I look down at my feet and pray the Earth sucks me inside it.

“Brava!”

My neck feels sore as I whip my head up to see Mr. E standing and clapping. My eyes widen as the other students join in.

“It looks like we have our Danny,” Mr. E grins, “This is the 21st century after all!”

I look wide-eyed at Winn and then forward, “Um, thank you, Mr. E.”

The man nods happily and tells me to sit next to him. I go and collect my guitar when giggling reaches my ears. I look over at the audience and see Kara staring star-eyed at Cedric.

___________________________________________________________

_**Oh Sandy** _

I raise my hand to scratch my cheek when I come in contact with a tear.

“Idiot,” I whisper, “It has been almost five years damn it! You shouldn’t be acting like this!”

I gulp down some sports drink angrily and clutch the steering wheel harder. It’s unnerving how a song could turn me into a weeping child. It’s also not new. A whole number of my favorite songs are tinted with memories just like this. The curse of being a musician is that I would always turn to those songs when in need of relief. 

I look over at the GPS and see I’m almost at Flagstaff. I sigh in relief as I silence the CD player and stay surrounded by quiet. It helps for a moment.

“She was cast as Sandy,” I whisper to no one, “And I was Danny. We got standing ovations for all our shows. Thank god Cedric dumped her a few days after production or I would have gone crazy trying to get the courage to perform every day.”

A small chuckle leaves me as I think about my reluctance to perform in front of the packed auditorium for five days straight. It didn’t help at all that the other students had gotten word about my musical skills and had sold out the tickets in less than two days. It also added to the groupies I had somehow gotten with the play’s occurrence. 

On the bright side, I had gotten more confident to play and sing outside of my room. I would play daily during lunch, giving my group of friends their own personal serenade. Slowly I would come into my own and would use my music to deal with Kara’s parade of boy toys. 

“Well, I suppose I should thank you for that Cedric,” I smirk, “If it weren’t for my jealousy of you, I would never have gotten the courage to show off in front of Kara.”

A painful laugh leaves my being as I shake my head sadly. I glance over the dashboard again and see that I’m just outside of Flagstaff.

“Thank god for wandering mind,” I sigh, “It sure makes the time go faster.”


	4. Downtown

I manage to get to Durango quickly, the music helping me focus on the road more. The sky is dark, but I couldn’t care less. I drive to the nearest hotel and check-in, making sure that both the trailer and my Jeep are watched during the night. As I make my way into my room, I turn on my new phone and look through it, makinv sure all my old apps are on it.

A ton of voice messages and texts both in social media and my regular phone apps greet me. I shake my head and look for the email I was desperate for. I smile sadly as I read over the message from Principle Erlich.

_Dear Ms. Luthor,_

_I am pleased to receive your response to our urgent opening here in Durango High School. We will be waiting for you early Monday morning as this position is in great need…._

 

I sigh and close the email, directing my attention fully to getting rest before looking for a place to stay here. I make myself comfortable inside, my bag was thrown near the bed and my guitar on the table. My body aches as I take another long shower and right myself into my sleeping clothes. I untuck the sheets to the bed and shiver at the cold that envelops it. Making sure that the heater is on high I close my eyes and try to sleep, my memory betraying me now.

__________________________________________________________. 

MIDVALE, TWO DAYS AGO

“Hey! Wait!”

I turn around slowly and feel my eyes widen as I come in contact with the quirky blonde. I feel my breath hitch as her dazzling eyes shine brightly. My eyes can only hold onto those ocean blue orbs before my eyes trail down to her growing belly. My fists clench and I feel my nails dig deeper into my sensitive skin, markings will surely appear when I let them loose. 

“Lena! Oh my god! I didn’t know you were here,” Kara smiles at me widely. 

I nod slowly, “I’m just here picking up some things,” I mumble.

“How long are you staying?”

I start counting my fingers with my thumb repeatedly, a motion I had gotten used to doing when practicing vibrato. A motion that means I’m uncomfortable and just want an out.

I sigh, “I don’t know. Depends on what I have to keep me here.”

Kara grins, “Well how about you join us today? It’s game day, right? I’m not really into football but Mike, Alex, and my dad are! I know everyone else is going out for it but we’re staying home. Maybe we can catch up?”

Her hopeful gaze makes my heart clench in pain. I know what I want to say but like always I say what she wants to hear.

“Sure,” I nod slowly.

Kara laughs happily and comes forward to pull me by my hands, effectively stopping me from my emotions. The blonde pulls me along with her in the direction deeper into the mall. I can see her mother looking down at her phone, probably reading an email about some study she’s working on. Eliza looks up and sees us, a look of shock and pity fills her eyes. 

It makes me clench my teeth.

“Lena,” Eliza smiles softly, “I thought you were in school in Colorado?”

I nod and quickly half-lie to her, “Yeah, I finished early, graduated a month ago actually. I came to get my stuff from Sam and I’s old apartment before heading back. I have a few places ready to take me, so...”

Eliza looks impressed and nods, “Well I hope you do well, whatever you choose.”

Her knowing look usually makes a shiver run through my spine but this time I managed to hold it back and reply to her with a cold look. A Luthor look. I nod in thanks and look over to Kara.

“So, what were you doing here?”

Kara smiles excitedly, “I came to get my wedding dress.”

My mind never stops. I never had been able to stop thinking, even when sleeping. Yet with this small response, I feel my whole being grow cold and my whole being stop. It’s as if I’m thrown into a black hole, no light in sight.

I gulp and blink rapidly in an attempt to compose myself.

“That…that’s great Kara,” I manage a smile, “Do you have it or…”

“We’re heading that way actually,” my friend says, “Come on, I want your opinion. Alex couldn’t make it and I trust you just as much to tell me how I look.”

I nod slowly and follow her as she walks ahead of us in the direction of the bridal boutique. She enters and is greeted by two older women who I can see are fawning over her. I feel a tear collect in my right eye. I clench my fist tightly and force myself to feel nothing. An action I have had enough time to perfect.

“Lena are you—”

“Boy, it’s hot in here,” I cut Eliza off, “I really got used to the Rockies.”

I quickly follow Kara, leaving Eliza frozen in place. I can hear the doctor thinking as I walk away. I wish I couldn’t. This sudden turn of events was a sign from God, I had decided. How is it that the moment I enter Midvale’s only mall I run into Kara and her mother, the people I have been trying to hide away from for the past two weeks.

The bell over the door rings and I slowly walk inside. Kara is waiting in the small waiting room. She’s speaking but I can’t hear anything. I watch silently as she and Eliza, who has finally entered the store, are fawning about the wedding dress. I walk around the room, looking anywhere besides the two blonde women. 

“Lena, can you help?”

I blink and turn around. Eliza is pointing to Kara who is walking towards a dressing room. I watch as Kara signals me to follow her. I refuse to look at Eliza. I knew what she was doing. The last person that treated me unkindly was sending me into the firing squad. I nod slowly and follow the younger blonde. The doctor tries to grasp my hand as I pass, I snap them away and walk on coldly behind Kara.

I don’t hear her talk as she undresses and puts on the white dress. I look away, like a gentlewoman, but help her tug it up. My hands shake as I pull up the straps of the corset halfway. A need to kiss her bare shoulder is pushed down into me as she turns around and thanks me. I nod and look over her form.

I don’t register how the dress looks, I just compliment her and watch as she leaves the dressing room. I exit after her and continue my role the supportive friend. I nod in the right places and give advice when asked for it, but I feel nothing.

I am nothing.

Especially in her life.

So, I decided to let it go.

To let her go, for good this time.

I find the comfort of the bottle later that night. 

I also find the comfort of her sister’s body later that night too. 

After dragging myself away from the Danvers’ house, I find Alex nursing her wounds in one of the local Gay bars downtown. Sam had refused to tell Patricia about her unplanned pregnancy due to her mother obviously disowning her and have her kicked out of the apartment her mother was paying for. Alex, of course, had told her that she could move in with her, but Sam was weary as Alex had recently broken up with her high school sweetheart, Maggie Sawyer. It was a shit show really, which is why the monster in me took advantage and gotten Alex further drunk and seduced its way into the aspiring doctor’s bed.

And now I’m here.

____________________________________________________________

The ringing of my cell phone wakes me with a groan. I blink back tears that had formed in my sleep. 

“Jeez,” I huff, “Can’t I just dream the good stuff instead?”

Annoyed but alert enough to move accordingly, I grab my phone and look it over. On the screen is an unfamiliar number. 

With reluctance, I answer, “Hello?”

_“Am I speaking to Ms. Luthor,” a woman’s voice answers, “I am Mrs. Apperson, Principle Erlich’s assistant. I was calling to know if you have arrived here in Durango today or will be able to arrive before tomorrow morning.”_

“Oh,” I gasp sitting up as if the woman was watching me, “Yes. I arrived last night. Today I was planning to look for places to stay.”

_“Great,” the woman says, “Actually, Ms. Luthor about your search. There is a teacher here that has been looking for a roommate for the past couple of months. Her previous roommate got a new job outside the city. Would you like me to contact her for you?”_

A grateful laugh escapes me, “Yes please, Mrs. Apperson. That would be very helpful. Actually, if you could give her my number, it’s a cell phone line, so she can contact me. I was hoping of going out for breakfast and looking around town today.”

The woman hums in understanding, _“Of course, I hope you do get along well with Jessica.”_

We say our goodbyes and I force myself out of bed, content that the day has begun with a good start for once. I slowly go through the motions of getting ready for the day, ignoring two more calls from Midvale, and gather my wallet, keys, and phone on my way out of the room. Dressed in dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt, I pull on my leather jacket and leave my room. 

I walk out to the hotel’s dining area to get some food and am greeted with bleach white walls and a few portraits of the landscape surrounding the town. I politely smile to the woman at the front desk and collect an assortment of food, making sure to pack a few granola bars in my coat pocket for later use. I stare mindlessly at the plasma television across from the breakfast bar and focus on the news, willing my mind to quiet down. 

A half hour later I’m finished with my food and leaving the hotel with a to-go cup of hot coffee in my hands. I can feel the staring of the locals as I walk out to my Jeep and unhinge the trailer, chaining it to the light post in front of my room. Satisfied that no one will take my stuff, I get back into my Jeep and drive toward the welcome center near the town’s downtown district. 

The welcome center is filled with a lot of history of the town and its mining history. A small smile makes its way to my face as I see all the stories of ghosts and bigfoot. The make-shift museum is cozy and has a small sitting room to wait for the hourly tour bus. In a last-minute decision, I buy a parking pass for the day and leave the center to wander the streets. 

As I walk the busy streets and look over the shops, a vision of myself walking down the streets makes its way into my imagination. I see myself window shopping, possibly with a friend or two. Drinking coffee at the local cafés across from the train museum. Buying curiosities at the antique stores by the historic hotel. There’re even a few bars with gay pride flags in front of their doors that I could see myself visiting after a long week. I could see myself living here comfortably.

Crystal blue eyes suddenly haunt me when a flash of bright blue passes by my peripheral. I grit my teeth and walk to the closest coffee shop. I’m a few steps away from the entrance when my phone begins to ring.

_**All of the astronauts** _  
_**Champagne in plastic cups** _  
_**Waiting for the big hero to show** _  
_**Outside the door he stands** _  
_**His head in his hands** _  
_**And his heart in his throat** _

 

Confused, I take my phone out and look down to see a number I don’t know. Shrugging, I answer.

“Lena Luthor speaking,” I answer.

 _“Hello, this is Jessica Chung,”_ a woman answers, _, “Phoebe said to talk to you about the room I have available.”_

“Oh! Yes,” I nod to no one, “That’s me. Is there any chance I can come by and see it today?”

_“Of course! Where are you right now? I’m downtown picking some things up for my friend, Jack Spheer—he’s the chemistry teacher at the school.”_

I chuckle in surprise, “I’m here downtown too.”

_“Oh! Leather jacket and dark jeans?”_

My eyebrows furrow, “How—”

A hand on my shoulder stops me mid-sentence and I turn around. A smiling Asian woman hangs up her phone and puts it away. She looks back up and takes out her hand for a shake.

“Jessica, nice to meet you, Lena,” the woman smiles kindly, “It’s small here, so you were easy to see.”

I blink then smile back, “I see, well it’s nice to meet you, Jessica.”

“Well follow me,” the woman tilts her head over to the closest bus stop, “It might take us a few minutes to get—"

“I actually have a car,” I interject, “I can drive us there?”

The woman nods in understanding, “Great, I guess I’ll follow you.”

I smile and take a few of the many bags she’s carrying and guide her to my Jeep. The conversation is pleasant. Jess, she insisted I called her that, was lovely. She had similar humor as me and wasn’t very nosy about me, only took what I gave which is a godsend in my eyes. The conversation of annoying high schoolers ended once we approached a townhouse big enough for three bedrooms and a double car garage. 

I glance at my new co-worker and am returned a grin.

“Jack’s place,” she explains, “His parents are rich and sent him here to become a doctor. He gave up halfway and decided being a teacher is more his style. He bought this place with what left of his inheritance. I hope you don’t mind?”

I shake my head, “No, it’s great actually. If I took a place for myself, I would get lonely sooner or later.”

Jess smiles, “Good, well come on. The only room left is the one near the garage. It’s a bit of a trek to reach the top floor but it’s nice and quiet.”

“Perfect,” I smile to myself as I park in front of the house.


	5. The Rent

As I exited my Jeep, I take the time to look around the green area. The row of townhouses stat directly in front of a large plain and a river. Across from the cabin-like structure was a ranch, perfectly placed at the base of one mountain peak and across the long river. 

Surrounding the town on all sides were large mountain tops that not only made the town appear like a hidden fairytale land but also much smaller than it actually was. A loud whining sound makes me look up towards the higher level of the town, I could see the local train chug on the edge of the town line and through the streets. 

It was charming. As if walking into the Christmas village display that Midvale’s small mall had up during the winter time. 

It was the complete opposite of Midvale’s bayfront small town. 

Yet, I knew it was also the same.

Durango Colorado was a small town, just as small as Midvale. The town was created to help aid to the transport of silver and gold ore, mirroring Midvale’s history as a port to aid the sale of whale oil between Mexico and the US. The towns were small and productive but had generations of family living there to make it feel home-like. They were also nothing like Metropolis or National City, the bane of my existence for the past seven years.

“Well come on,” Jess motions me to follow her, breaking my thoughts.

I nod and follow the woman to the front door of a unit. Jess pulls out a key, shining silver in color but encased in a tabby cat key sleeve. A small smirk pulls at my lips as she turns the key and pushes the door open. I follow behind the smaller brunette and am greeted by the sound of music; the strumming of bass, pounding of drums and plucking of an electric guitar surrounded me with a comfortable feeling that I could only associate with my soft blanket. 

I watch from the corner of my eye as Jess drops her keys into a colorful bowl across from a coat closet. Jess turns around and signals me to follow. As we walk deeper into the home, I see many different paintings hanging on the walls, most of them modern and the type that I found interesting but not art I would like. Passing by a modern style dining room with colorful chairs and an equally eccentric living room, we make our way to the front of a door that opens up to show the flight of stairs Jess spoke of before. 

We go down the stairs, and the music becomes louder. Once at the bottom of the stairs we are greeted by a makeshift music room, padded with a soundproof sponge and two doors that lead to my new bedroom and the garage. In the center of the music room is a cluster of instruments currently being played: a purple drum set, a blue five-string bass, a flame-red guitar and a stack of two expensive looking keyboards surrounded by two laptop computers. The sound made pulses out of the numerous amps that were plugged into the large speakers placed perfectly into the wall from where the townhouse ends and the space separating the next-door house began. 

Behind the set of purple drums, hitting the top hat and nodding her head was a young woman of Puerto Rican descent with ribbons of purple and gold hair mixed into her dark brown hair. On the keyboard and two laptops, there was a man, about the same size and skin color as Winn was wearing a green beanie balancing an oversized pair of headphones between his ear and shoulder as he moved dials on the set up in front of him. Another man, this of Indian descent, held the blue base in his hands and bobbed his head to the beat of his notes. Finally, next to the bass player was a woman with strikingly blonde hair and pale skin, strumming the red guitar in her hand and grinning. 

I look over the players and become impressed as I look down to their hands, their moves are practiced and on time clearly showing their talents. I look back up and take in the players and notice that they all had their eyes closed, an impressive feat but also one I could understand as I would also close my eyes when I played. 

“They’re good, right?”

I look to my left and catch Jess’ grin at me and I nod turning back to them, a small smile on my lips. Suddenly I’m bombarded with staring from the players and the music abruptly stops. I blink in confusion as the bass player walks up to me and looks me over. I ignore the mumbling from the other musicians and keep my eyes on the bass player as he backs up and shares a look with Jess.

“Well, not what I was expecting, but you’ll do,” the man says with a European accent, “What do you think so far?”

Suddenly understanding that this is the one called Jack I nod, “It’s lovely, better than my other option really.”

The woman with colorful highlights snickers with a wolf-like grin, “Other options?”

“National City,” I roll my eyes.

“HA!”

Jack’s outburst surprises me but years of living with psychopaths has me trained to not react other than lifting an eyebrow. The man grins and starts strumming his base, a groovy beat that brings me into a memory of not-so-long-ago. I try to push back the memory as Jack begins to sing:

_**[National] City** _  
_**Center Of The Universe** _  
_**Times Are Shitty** _  
_**But I'm Pretty Sure They Can't Get Worse** _

_**I Hear That,**_ the guitarist mumbles in agreement.

_**It's A Comfort To Know** _  
_**When You're Singing The Hit The Road Blues** _  
_**That Anywhere Else You Could Possibly Go** _  
_**After [N. C.] Would Be A Pleasure Cruise** _

_**Now You're Talking,**_ the drummer jeers.

The drums and bass fill the room with the song and in that instant, I jump in with an ease that could only come with a seasoned performer. Or in my case a high school performance. The group becomes excited and the last two musicians drop into the song after I start singing.

_**Well, I'm Thwarted By A Metaphysic Puzzle** _  
_**And I'm Sick Of Grading Papers-That I Know** _  
_**And I'm Shouting In My Sleep, I Need A Muzzle** _  
_**All This Misery Pays No Salary, So** _

_**Let's Open Up A Restaurant In Santa Fe** _  
_**Oh Sunny Santa Fe Would Be Nice** _  
_**We'll Open Up A Restaurant In Santa Fe** _  
_**And Leave This To The Roaches And Mice** _

_**You Teach,**_ Jack smirks clearly enjoying my participation. 

I pop my collar and make a show of walking around him, bumping him with my shoulder before ending up standing behind him and sing-talk to the musicians. 

_**Yeah- I Teach Computer Age Philosophy** _  
_**While My Students Would Rather [stream] tv** _

_**America,**_ I shrug to the others.

_**America,**_ they shout back with glee.

I take my jacket off and walk around the group pointing to each player as I sing. I catch sight of Jess bopping her head to the song and swaying with the beat, I grin at her as I keep singing.

The song progresses, the guitarist and pianist joining in with the music now both lyrically and instrumentally. I close my eyes seeing Mike, Winn, James, and Nia sing onstage from the stage side. The memory doesn’t taint itself with sorrow, so I continue to sing it happily. I can hear James sing along with me as I continue on.

_**We'll Pack Up All Our Junk And Fly** _  
_**So Far Away** _  
_**Devote Ourselves To Projects That Sell** _  
_**We'll Open Up A Restaurant In Santa Fe** _  
_**Forget This Cold Bohemian Hell** _

As the musicians sing along I make my way to where Jess sits next to an empty bean bag chair. As I sing the last lines I drop defeated onto the empty chair and tap my foot to the last beats.

_**Do You Know The Way To Santa Fe?** _  
_**You Know, Tumbleweeds... Prairie Dogs...** _

The last notes drift off leaving us all with the feeling of connecting in one moment as a whole. I breathe through my nose, gaining my breath again. A few seconds later I shift forward, forearms on my knees and fingers entwined as I look up at Jack.

“So, about the Rent,” I smirk.

Jack blinks for a second then burst out laughing. My smirk doesn’t leave me even after the others join in and settled down a few minutes later.

"$400," Jack responds with a grin, "And maybe a song or two with us."

I smile and make my way to him, "Deal."

He shakes my hand, "Deal."


	6. Illusions

“Last boxes.”

I look up from my position on my desk to Jack who is carrying two stacked boxes in his arms.

“Uh, thanks,” I smile at him, “You can put them down there.”

I watch as he places the boxes next to my half-empty bookcases then stands back up and puts his hands in his front pockets.

“So, what’s the real reason you’re here,” he asks with a neutral look.

I look back up from the papers on my desk and turn around in my director’s chair to address him.

“I told you already,” my eyebrows raised, “I finished school this past semester at Boulder and here I am.”

Jack nods slowly, “Yeah I got that. What I mean is, why did you choose here? I mean, with the two degrees you have and the weight of your last name, I would have thought you would have chosen a different place.”

I blink and glance at my two degrees hanging above me: one for musicology and the other for education. I look over the two papers and tassels then I let out a sigh, moving the papers on my desk to gather my thoughts. After a moment passes by, I turn back to my co-worker and nod.

“I was offered the job earlier this academic year actually,” Jack’s features don’t change as I continue, “I was offered to finish both degrees here at the college, but I thought I should finish there then come here. Luckily, I managed to cram the rest of this semester into last, so here I am.”

Just as the man begins to press of, I cut him off, “As for why here, I think the earlier performance explains much. No?”

“So,” Jack nods while leaning next to my door, “Your name prevents you from having a normal life. Which is why you are choosing a small town to hide in?”

Jess slowly walks in then, carrying a tray with some sandwiches and cups filled with juice. Jack smiles and takes his share before handing me mine. Jess simply smiles and takes a seat on my bed, tray still half full of sandwiches. I glance at the woman and she nods, acknowledging that she heard part of the conversation. I look over at my two new roommates and feel a sense of belonging, something that I haven’t felt in a long time. For some reason, I feel like I can trust them, so I sigh and start up the conversation again.

I shake my head, “Partly. I was basically disinherited from my family years ago, just finishing high school. So, I started my life from there. Luckily for me, my education was already paid for through my own merit and my father left me enough money to go on for a few years.”

Jess’ eyes widen, “Wait! You’re _the_ Lena Luthor?”

Jack chuckles and I roll my eyes.

“Yes, I suppose so. Anyway, I prefer it this way. Teaching was something that fell into my lap, just like my guitar,” I glance at my guitar case, “My mother was a teacher…”

“Lillian Luthor,” Jess snickers, “A teacher?”

I laugh loudly at that, “No, not Lillian. My birth mother, Kira. She died when I was young, which is why I was adopted by the Luthor family.”

“You’re not one of them then,” Jack asks, confusion on his face.

“Half by blood,” I huff, “Now? Not by name. I changed it back.”

With a flourish of my hand, I show them my degrees. The pale cream paper was new and contrasted against the smoky grey walls of my new bedroom.

“Brennan,” Jess reads aloud behind me, “So, no more Luthor?”

I stare sadly at the papers, “Never felt like one anyway. So no more 'Luthor' attached to me, that what all these forms are for.”

I signal to the paper on my desk when I feel strong hands on my shoulder, so I look up. Jack’s handsome face shows sorrow and understanding. I glance over to Jess and see that she looks at me the same way. I give them a sad smile and wait for anyone to speak.

Jack finally pulls away, “You’re in good company then.”

I share a look with Jess, “I showed you mine…”

Jack smiles sadly at us then sits on my bed, shaking the tray just a bit. He grabs one of my pillows and places it over his lap. I watch silently as his stare over the pillow turns from pensive to sad and angry.

“My parents wanted a doctor, and I wanted to be one too. We were on the same page for once. I was offered a full ride here in Aurora. I was just a few semesters from finishing when I met my wife. We got married right before my junior year,” he whispers, “A few months later we found out she had cancer. So, I left school to take care of her, my parents understood but were resentful at Leyla. And then, it spread so _fast._ In the end, she died and I couldn’t go on as if I didn’t see the love of my life die in my arms. I couldn’t let a patient have faith in me when the one person that had faith in me ended up being wrong. My parents and I had a big fight during her funeral, so I stayed here. She’ll be gone five years this summer.”

“I’m so sorry,” I say to him, coming to stand next to him, “I wish I could do more than say sorry.”

Jack smiles up at me then with watery eyes, “How about being a friend. I could use one and I’m sure you could too.”

I stare down at his dark eyes and see understanding along with knowledge. I could see recognition in his eyes as if he could read me like an open book. A cold shiver of realization goes down my spine.

_He knows._

_How?_

My eyes glance over to the last two boxes in my room, I look back at Jack and see a sheepish smile. Biting my lip with a warning look, I nod at him, nonetheless. Jack nods back and takes my hand. He squeezes it softly, comfortingly, then let’s go.

“Well, better get some rest,” the man sighs, “I’ll be in the office finishing up some grading before bed. If you ladies need anything I’ll be there.”

“Good night Jack,” we both say as the man drops the pillow back in place then gets up and leaves.

I stare out the door as the sound of heavy footsteps shakes the stairs. 

_Something to get accustom to, I’m sure._

“I don’t have much of a story,” Jess sighs from her spot on the bed again, “Sorry.”

I smirk at her, “Good. We won’t share the spotlight with you anyway.”

The woman giggles, “Well, I’m sure my parents aren’t too ecstatic about me being a school teacher. But they are supportive enough for the three of us.”

“Three of us,” I ask.

Jess nods, “With you, we make three. Jack and I go visit once a month; they live in Denver. Dad’s a professor for the University of Denver. Mom’s owns a boutique in the artist district. They’re strict but understanding. I’m sure they’re willing to take another stray in.”

Jess’ comforting smile tugs my heartstrings, her expression warm and welcoming. I feel happy to have found kind souls around me but also reluctant. I mean the last time I went down a similar road I ended up crushed and running with my tail between my legs.

“Thanks, Jess,” I tell the history teacher, “I’m sorry if I’m a bit emo for you both right now. I just...”

“Have a lot to go through,” the woman cuts me off, “Yeah, I could see it when I saw you. Don’t worry Lena, things change as time goes on. Jack is in a better place, but only after five years of grief. You’ll be there someday. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I do know that a woman like you deserves some peace and happiness. Just promise me that if you need to talk to someone, you speak to one of us two. We might have known each other for a few hours but I can tell we’ll get along really well from now on.”

“Am I that easy to read,” I ask to her, annoyed that my acting skills have been subpar.

“No,” she shakes her head, “You can see when someone is struggling if you’ve felt the same emotions your experiencing. Also, I could hear it when you sang with Jack and his band earlier.”

At Jess’ somber gaze I nodded, satisfied with the answer.

One place I could never hide my emotions was my music.

“Alright,” the woman claps her hands and rises, “I’ll let you rest. Good night, Lena.”

“Good night Jess,” I respond, allowing the woman to hug me.

Jess then takes the tray but not before leaving me the last full juice on my desk. Her own softer footsteps go up the stairs and don’t shake the stairs, leaving me in silence on the ground floor of the house. I sigh and walk forward to close and lock my door. I turn around and lean against the door. My eyes take in my new bedroom.

The walls are a cloudy grey, dark enough to make my black furniture stand out but not too dark to prevent sunlight from taking over the room mid-day. The room’s color contrast with my black, navy blue and copper accents littered across my furniture. The bedroom’s now half-full closet takes up space on my right, allowing the other three walls to be filled with the few memories I have kept.

My bookcases are now placed against the right wall, directly across from my queen-sized bed. Between the two objects is a smaller bookcase filled with records, CDs and tapes, my portable record player sits on top of it, needle in its home waiting for a new disc to read. Directly across from the door is a large window that gives a beautiful view of the ranch and peaks across the river, my two degrees hanging right above the curtains. My desk, big enough for my laptop, desk lamp and a few objects, sits right under the window. Finally, taking over my left wall are hooks to hold up my pictures, a multitude of photographs, portraits, and drawings I collected over the years. 

“Home sweet home,” I whisper into the room.

The quiet makes me feel uncomfortable. I had gotten accustomed to Sam’s soft snores and the sounds of apartment residents move above and around the neighboring apartments. Even when living in the dorms, the sounds of restless students had been comforting before. I shake my head and look to my guitar, thumb brushing over my fingertips. Right hand constantly moving.

Pinky—brush.

Ring—brush.

Middle—brush.

Pointer—brush.

Start again—brush.

“No,” I sigh, “Not right now.”

My being pushes away from the door as I turn around and open my door again. I walk into the small hallway between my room, the garage, and the basement. I can feel the chill of early February seep through the pads of my feet and up my bones as I walk towards the basement. My ankle shrieks from the feeling, four years not being enough for it to heal completely, as does my left shoulder. The taping of my footsteps ends as I walk into the basement and across the hardwood floors, somehow becoming light enough to not be heard in the space.

I stand in the middle of the room, an echo of how I did earlier in the day, and stare at the instruments as if to wait for one to call to me. My eyes drag themselves over the purple drums of Margie, then over the guitar of Susan, gracing Jack’s bass, then finally settle on Andy’s piano sets. I blink rapidly, notes and stanzas echoing in my head as I stare at the stacked keyboards. Finally, I let myself be led by the music towards the silver instruments and behind them.

The keyboard is clean, obviously well used and much loved. There are a few faded yellow star stickers on the keys, signaling that the bottom keyboard was once used to learn how to play. I fell myself smile at the memory of finger tapes and star stickers on instruments. I huff as the memory of Mrs. Nieto’s insistence of needing finger tapes on all my instruments even after reaching level six on all of them. 

_Even professionals need a little help from time to time_

My mind conjures up the sight of my violin with permanent marks on the fingerboard from where the tapes had basically been scared onto the surface. The picture changes to the Aires’ piano that had marks from my constant need to place my fingers in beginner position before playing. Once again, the image changes and I see myself sitting straight up with Mrs. Nieto praising my playing to my adoptive family, not changing anyone’s mind on my uselessness.

I shake my head, getting myself back from my memories. With a flurry of movements, I turn on the keyboard and set the sounds to where I like, as if I was the owner and not Andy. Before long, classical music is being played in the room. The familiar notes calm me down, muscle memory taking over my mind instead of my loud thoughts of sad blue eyes and angry hazel. Suddenly an angry scream from the keyboard breaks the peaceful music. 

I had dropped my hands forcefully on the keys, like a record being scratched in a movie. My breathing and heartbeat turn rapid as I think about what lies in the two boxes Jack had looked through.

“I wish,” I whisper, “I wish I could just cut out these memories from me. I wish I could just _not think _for one moment. Live in the present and just move on. Seven years. It’s been _seven damn years_ and I still can’t. What did you do to me, Kara?”__

__A tickling feeling begs my attention to my cheek. My hand touches my chin and I look down._ _

__Another tear._ _

__“I can’t keep doing this,” I seethe, “It’s just not _fair._ Why do I feel and you don’t? Is it a curse? Is it because I was _starved_ for attention? Is it a punishment? Is this what those damn Christians meant by ‘paying for one’s sin’ or something along those lines?”_ _

__Tears now streamed down my eyes and splash against the keys, unstoppable just as always when I fall down this deep hole._ _

__“Why do I love you, Kara,” I hiccup, “Why do I love you so hard and so fully with my being? Why is it not enough?”_ _

__I don’t clean my face, I just let the salty water flow down my now rosy cheeks. As I close my eyes tightly, more tears fall onto my hands. I position my hands into place and begin to play again, this song from my childhood. The first song I learned to play by memory._ _

___**Why are there so many** _   
_**Songs about rainbows** _   
_**And what's on the other side** _   
_**Rainbows are visions** _   
_**But only illusions** _   
_**And rainbows have nothing to hide** _   
_**So we've been told and some chose to** _   
_**Believe it** _   
_**I know they're wrong wait and see** _ _ _

__The notes fill my being, calming me down. Music always does that: calm me down. It’s the only moment I have peace now. This song especially, as I remember days in the care of a kind woman while I wait for my father to push my adoption paper through._ _

___**Who said that every wish** _   
_**Would be heard and answered** _   
_**Wished on the morning star** _   
_**Somebody thought of that** _   
_**And someone believed it** _   
_**And look what it's done so far** _   
_**What's so amazing** _   
_**That keeps us star gazing** _   
_**And what do we think we might see** _ _ _

__It sad to say the only time when I was young that I was truly happy was during those two weeks I was under the care of volunteer caregivers. A kind CPS woman, a strict but comforting police officer, and a motherly music teacher that would come back into my life later in life to gift me this peace._ _

___**Have you been half asleep** _   
_**And have you heard voices,** _   
_**I've heard them calling my name,** _   
_**Is this the sweet sound that calls** _   
_**The young sailors,** _   
_**The voice might be one and the same.** _   
_**I've heard it too many times to ignore it** _   
_**It's something that I'm supposed to be,** _ _ _

__I can hear Mrs. Nieto’s voice along with mine as if singing me to sleep like so many years ago. My voice hitches a tad, making the last chorus sound just as pitiful as I feel._ _

___**Someday we'll find it** _   
_**The rainbow connection** _   
_**The lovers, the dreamers and me** _ _ _

__The notes vibrate to nothingness as my breath settles and my heart calms down. I sigh a large breath and turn everything off before leaving the room in darkness and heading to my bed for the night. As I pull my sheets around me and stare into the darkness, I feel peace for once._ _

___Sleep Lena. You’re going to need it, dear._ _ _

__Mrs. Nieto’s voice pulls me into a peaceful sleep._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rainbow Connection--


	7. Dancing With a Stranger

The strong scent of coffee wafts into my nose and wakes me further. I sigh, clutching my to-go cup in one hand and my Jeep keys in the other. I effortlessly unlock the vehicle and open the door, careful not to spill a drop of my coffee onto myself. Lillian may have been Count Olaf in the level of evil, but she had one thing right: appearances are everything. This counting twice as much as today was my first day at Durango High and would be surrounded not only by gossiping teenagers but also their gossiping teachers and families. 

Once my hot cup is in its cupholder, I carefully swing my laptop bag over the driver’s seat, pockets facing the back seat. 

“Hold on Lena,” Jess shouts from the entrance to the house, “Jack is still missing his glasses.”

I smirk and nod, “Okay, I’ll just start my baby. Get the heater going.”

Jess nods and goes back inside, trench coat billowing in the wind. I smile happily at the thought of driving my new friends-slash-roomies to work, something I wish I could have done back home. Shaking my head, I look over my attire, making sure I’m in perfect order as well.

My navy turtle neck is perfectly clean and tucked into my black chinos, keeping me warm from the chilly mountain air. I run my hands over my steel blue blazer, making sure it’s still ironed and has no specks of coffee on the soft surface. Finally, I look over my grey Oxfords and see no imperfection on their leather surface. 

Satisfied, I pull myself up and into my Jeep’s driver seat, close the door and start the engine. The oil circulates the engine with a purr and leaves me to wait for the heat to kick in. As much as I love the view of half-snowed mountains, the cold is still something to get used to. I sigh, thinking about the first year of school at Boulder and how hard it was for me to acclimate to the weather after living in a beachfront city for four years. 

The heater finally turns on fully and starts blasting the interior with hot air. I turn the dials and lower the fan’s power, but leaving the heat as is. A few more minutes pass and the clock signals that it's close to getting late for us teachers. I glance up to the front porch and am satisfied as I see Jack, now wearing his glasses, and Jess walk down the stairs and towards me. I unlock the other doors and put on my seatbelt, ready to drive us to work.

“Sorry Lee,” Jack sighs once they’re both inside, “I fell asleep on them again, so they fell behind the bed.”

I smirk but say nothing, allowing Jess to tease him on our way to work. As I drive the short way to work, I replay my encounter with the principal yesterday, John Erlich. The man had been excited for my addition to the school, happy that I had agreed to take over the empty Art teacher position, the previous teacher had gotten ill and decided to retire earlier then what was predicted.  
Through our short interactions yesterday afternoon, I could tell he was the type of man that once was part of every club imaginable, a total nerd but a sweet one at that. The man was no older than thirty-five, so about Jack’s age, and had kind hazel eyes that obviously charmed not only his wife but also the staff. Mrs. Diana Apperson was just as kind yesterday, her short interactions showing how warm an older woman became after caring for young adults over the years.

From the way both administrators and my two new friends behaved, I could only hope that my assumptions for well-behaved students to be true. My thoughts then settled to my lesson plans, hoping I could entice the students to take a chance on me and allow me to teach them but still make it fun and interesting. 

“Lee,” Jess speaks to me, “Your first class second, right?”

“Yup,” I nod, “And I have first lunch too. My advisory period is after that, so…”

“Lucky,” Jack huffs, “You get to wake up later and have a longer lunch.”

I roll my eyes, “Should have taken up an elective then.”

Jess laughs at Jack’s response, another huff and a pout. I just smile and pull up to the light before turning into the faculty parking lot. Once the light changes to green, I pull up to a parking space far away as to not get my black Jeep nicked by a stray door opening, ignoring the amused glances from my two friends. I wait for the two teachers to get out before getting out myself and grabbing my things on the way out. With a quick beep of the car alarm, I follow the two further into the campus and inside the school.

I glance around the beige and white walls, getting accustomed to the new view around me. The red and black colors of the mascot are echoed school posters. I take in the sight of the cartoon devil painted onto the wall next to the registration office.

“Okay guys,” I smile at the two, “I’ll catch you later.”

“Alright,” Jess nods before taking me into a hug, “Good luck Ms. Brennan. Have a good first day!”

I laugh as Jack pulls me into his own hug and words of encouragement before following Jess deeper into the school. I stay standing there, watching them go up the stairs together. Once they are out of sight on the next flight of stairs, I turn and walk into the registration office.

“Ah,” the red-headed secretary sighs, “Good morning Ms. Luthor.”

I smile at the older woman, “It’s Brennan, Diana. And good morning to you too. Did Charlie get my keys done?”

“Yes dear,” the woman nods as she pulls a set of keys from her desk, “Here you go, and I’m sorry I’ll try to remember.”

“It’s not a problem,” I sigh while taking the keys, “I’m getting used to it too. Anyway, here are the forms and such that you needed. I hope this will do.”

I hand the woman an icy blue folder, pulling back to wait for a response. The middle-aged woman goes through the papers, thin glasses perched on her nose as she does. A few hums later and she’s nodding to me.

“Alright dear, that’s it,” she says, “I’ll get them sorted before lunch.”

“Good,” I smile, “Thank you. I’ll leave you to it. Happy Tuesday!”

“Happy Tuesday, Ms. Brennan,” the woman smiles back, “And, have a good first day.”

A quick wave and I’m walking out of the office, anxiety flooding me with each step. I click the wireless earbud around my collar and put them on, pulling out my phone to choose a song to hear on the way to my classroom. The gentle strumming of guitar calms me down as I walk down the right wing of the school, making sure I don’t stare into any rooms in fear of getting worse performance anxiety than I already did.

The walk down the bland hallway was littered with flashes of ocean blue and memories of my own high school days. Letterman jackets, the battle of the bands, missed winter formals and long nights of songwriting chase my thoughts. I take a left into a hidden hallway and walk to down a few steps, as I reach the end of the enclave, I stare at the glass doors in front of me. 

The music room.

I had seen it on the school’s map I had been given yesterday. I couldn’t help noticing it was the fastest route to my classroom, so it was no wonder I decided to follow the route. With a sigh I shake my head and continue my way, taking a left onto another flight of stairs. I can’t help but glance at the music room again before going up and onto the second floor. My room was to the right of the stairs, easy access. I smile as I look around, noticing that there are many murals on the walls of this floor, an obvious contrast to the first floor’s white and beige. 

I take the newly cut keys and open the classroom door. The room has a wooden floor, surprising as the rest of the school had that fake tile on its floors. With an amused huff, I look around the room. The walls are white, except for the wall facing the door as it has windows taking up its space. To the right of the door is a large chalkboard and two large industrial size sinks. Separating the two is a small enclave where I could assume the art materials are stored. 

To the far-left wall is a blank white wall, highlighted by the small cart with a projector sitting on top. In the center, six long wood tables with splatters of paint and charcoal are scattered in perfect distance from each other. The wall across from the windows is the small office space. A mahogany desk sits empty except for a laptop and a few pieces of office supplies, at the far end of the wall is another door. 

“Alright,” I clap my hands, “Let’s fix this place up.”

I spend the rest of the morning and first period cleaning the place and moving the tables around. The once scattered tables are now grouped up to look like one long dining table in the center of the room. I move the desk a bit, so it’s positioned perfectly in between the two entrances. I make sure all to take count of all the materials in the supply room, every glitter bottle accounted for. 

Once I’m satisfied, I pull down all the old posters from the walls and throw them into a garbage bag I had brought from home. With a last glance around, I lock my room and make my way to my Jeep. As I walk down the flight of stairs, a soft voice reaches my ears. I stop, mid-step and listen to the pretty feminine voice as it echoes up the stairs. For some reason, my chest feels tight as the woman praises her class.

“Good job guys! Keep at it and I might be persuaded to convince the Theater teacher to use you for the Spring Musical.”

I roll my eyes, ignoring the tough feeling in my gut.

_Typical, music teacher._

I start walking again, the last section of stairs taping under my feet.

“Oh, Todd I need you to stay after school for Glee. Okay?”

I stop again, this time at the bottom of the stairs.

_Glee?_

_Woman has a lot on her plate then. Orchestra and Glee, the woman must be talented._

_And old as hell itself._

I chuckle to myself and continue my way out of the school. I reach my Jeep and go directly to the trunk, unlock it and pull out the stack or large frames and one of the two boxes Jack had brought me last night. The walk back was uneventful, well almost uneventful.

“From the top guys, sopranos take the lead.”

I stop just outside the music room and turn my head to the opaque glass walls.

_Choir? I thought that was the orchestra room?_

I blink rapidly.

“Good, good. Now I’ll need you to keep practicing so my orchestra kids can follow your lead too.”

_Wait! Does she do it all? Damn._

With my eyebrows so high they could touch my hairline; I listen to the soft voices of the students.

_Not bad._

I shake my head and walk back up to my room, the soft voice reverberating in my ear. As I open my door again, I hear the woman’s remarks repeat in my head. 

_She sounds like…_

Grunting in annoyance, I walk into the classroom with arms filled with art. I try to ignore the voice in my head and start hanging the portrait filled frames around the room. The pictures are mostly neutral step-by-step guides on how to draw specific things like profiles or body shapes. Once satisfied with the amount of white space left, I slowly open the box and pull out more art, these a bit more personal than the rest. A few are side profiles of Sam, projects I asked for her to pose for. And a few are landscapes and others are sketches of classmates from my University days.

I stand back and look around, nodding happily. I smile to myself and tilt my head up at the sound of the warning bell rings. 

_Here we go._

I pull on my blazer again, having put it over my office chair earlier, and straighten up my clothes before taking a seat behind my desk. I open my work laptop and click open all the tabs needed to take roll, ignoring the bustling coming from the two open doors. Sure enough, a few voices enter the room, now closer than before. I ignore the sounds of the curious students as they enter and take in the room. The sound sounds of scraping chairs and thrown down backpacks have little effect on my concentration in memorizing the roll call. 

The late bell rings for the second period and I finally look up from my laptop. A collection of students then looks up at me then. Some faces look excited, others look reluctant, and then there are the ones I know will be little shits that are smirking at me. I stare them down until as a collective they all turn back around to themselves and shut up.

_Good. Know your place kids!_

I get up and walk to one door, close it then go to close the others. Just as I’m closing the door a blonde jock runs up to me, letterman half off his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs.” he huffs, “My teacher took too long to—”

“One time,” I say with a raised eyebrow.

“I—I, what,” he mumbles.

“One time I will allow you to come in late,” I speak with a cool tone, “The next time you are late, bring a pass or don’t show up.”

With a blush he nods and shuffles around me, making sure not to touch his scary new teacher, and takes a seat next to a gaggle of snickering boys. 

“That goes for everyone,” I tell the teens, “If I can get here at the butt crack of dawn to teach you, you can get here before the Jeopardy buzzer goes off.”

A round of ‘yes ma’am’ and they settle down. I nod, happy that they understand and proceed to start the class. My next three classes go on such as this: wait for the room to fill up with teens, stare them down, win over their respect and teaching them that acrylic paint doesn’t come off easily or at all, so they best not get any on me or my belongings. 

It was certainly less exciting then what I excepted, but at least I didn’t have any incidences as I had hoped would not happen. Before long the lunch bell is ringing and my third period is looking up from their seats, packing up only after I not at them. They each tell me goodbye on their way out, making sure to tuck in their chairs back into place. 

Once I’m alone in the room is sigh and lean back into my chair, tired from the constant ‘are you going to stay for the rest of the year and next?’ I roll my eyes at the thought then stay sitting there while staring out the window, sunlight beating down the mountain landscape. I huff and pull out my cell phone from my coat pocket. Seeing that nor Jack or Jess have messaged, I could assume I had lunch alone. Shrugging I take my lunch bag I had packed early in the morning and locked up my room, fully expecting to go eat at the teachers’ lounge. 

Walking down the stairs, I notice how quiet the small hallway is. Curiosity wins out so I stalk my way to the now empty music room. I reach the wood door and jiggle the handle.

_Unlocked._

With a childish grin, I push open the door and walk in. The room is white, what a surprise! There are no posters, no color other than the blue chairs arranged in a symphony arc in the center of the room and the mahogany desk placed behind the conductor’s step and music stand. A little confused about the emptiness of the room, I look around and see eight more stacks of chairs, each having at least five chairs in total. 

_Must be popular._

A sparkle of light makes me look to the wall on the right. A sparkly black drum set sits in front of a whole rack full of guitar cases, both acoustic and eclectic. To the left of the drum set is an upright piano, well used with papers littering its surface. Nearby is a small table filled with even more sheets of music and a small practice room that has bookcases filled with music sheets as well.

I look behind me, taking in the other side of the room and see that there is another practice room. This one is empty as it is most likely used for just that, practicing. Another door, this one leading to the interment closet, is closed but has a glass panel on it to show who is inside.

A beat passes then I finally make a decision and walk towards the upright. The dark colored wood has impressions of bodies leaning on it, and the matching seat is gone and replaced with a wooden stool. With a touch of my fingers, I’m proved that even if the instrument is used to the point of worry it’s tuned perfectly. I smile as I play a few measures of ‘Chopsticks’ then settle on a song I heard a few kids singing to the radio I had playing during the day.

The somber notes flow through the room, echoing in the empty room.

_Ah! That’s the reason!_

The sound is clear and beautiful, so I close my eyes and let the song come into fruition. 

 

_**I don't wanna be alone tonight** _  
_**It's pretty clear that I'm not over you** _  
_**I'm still thinking 'bout the things you do** _  
_**So I don't want to be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight** _  
_**Can you light the fire?** _  
_**I need somebody who can take control** _  
_**I know exactly what I need to do** _

 

I sigh sadly, eyes firmly closed, as I sing the chorus. The piano’s somber sound is loud in my ears very haunting. I can hear Kara singing with me, my grief evident to my lovesick mind’s wish to hear her again.

 

_**'Cause I don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight** _  
_**Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new** _  
_**Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger** _  
_**Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new** _  
_**Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger** _

_**Dancing with a stranger** _

 

I open my mouth to continue to sing the second part, fully intending to make this song a solo instead of a duet, when the Kara voice I conjure in my mind starts to sound realistic. I furrow my eyebrows, confused that Kara’s voice sounds so physical to me now.

_**I wasn't even goin' out tonight** _  
_**But, boy, I need to get you off of my mind** _

 

_As if she’s standing with me in the room…._

 

_**I know exactly what I have to do** _  
_**I don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight** _

 

_Wait._

I shut up midline and open my eyes quickly as I turn to look behind me. Somehow my hands keep playing as I look to the music room’s entrance. I can feel the blood in my face drain at the sight of the ghostly figure standing there. 

There standing by the now open door is a woman, a few inches taller than me. She is wearing a baby blue blouse tucked into a black skirt, black stylish heeled ankle boots on her feet. The woman’s wavy hair falls perfectly around and over her shoulders, a surprised yet excited look shines in her stunning blue eyes.

 

_**Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new** _  
_**Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger** _  
_**Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new** _

 

_Kara?_

_No, its not her._

I finally pull myself away from my pain and see that even if this woman looks very _very_ much like Kara, it’s not her. The woman slowly walking towards me has darker hair, a chocolate brown shade. Her shoulders relaxed and not pushed back like a soldier, something Lt. Jerimiah had been strict to the Danvers sisters to have, yet fluid as if the woman was a dancer in her past life. Her eyes were a bit more electric blue then Kara’s, yet no less stunning. If not even more so.

The woman continues to sing along with my playing, solo turned duet. I suddenly realize that this voice was what I heard earlier. She reaches me on the piano and places her hand on top of the wood surface, leaning on in exactly where the marks are. Her eyes stare into mine, freezing me in place and signaling me to continue. The small smile she’s wearing shows how impressed she is with my multitasking to watching her and playing with no sheet music before me.

 

_**Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger** _  
_**Dancing with a stranger** _  
_**Dancing with a stranger** _

 

I join in at the appropriate time and become entranced by how well our voices sound together once she joins in again. The tightness in my chest returns from this morning.

_They sound so alike._

Somehow the also don’t. This woman’s voice is half a step higher and huskier with a little twang that says she’s _definitely_ not from Cali. 

_**Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new** _  
_**Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger** _  
_**Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new** _  
_**Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger** _

Somehow the return of my blood to my face doesn’t knock me out. Our eyes don’t leave each other as we sing together to the end. Somehow, I feel a warm aura around us. I feel as if a puzzle piece has been snapped into place when she smiles through the song at me. The air around us is warm but feels eclectic and euphoric, a complete 180° from what the song is about.

My heart beats just a bit faster as I get lost in her eyes. Soft electric blue peer at me through long lush eyelashes. I can feel the blood in my cheeks rise as her smile dazzles me to the point of almost losing my grip on the lyrics.

 

_**I'm dancing, I'm dancing** _  
_**I'm dancing, I'm dancing** _  
_**I'm dancing, I'm dancing** _  
_**Dancing with a stranger** _

 

The notes continue to vibrate into the air as I small gasp leaves my lips. 

“I’m sorry for barging in,” the woman says with a shy smile, “But you kind of did break into my room.”

I blink rapidly, “I—I’m sorry. I saw that it was open and…”

“It’s okay,” the blue-eyed beauty giggles, “I didn’t mind the intrusion. You’re really good at that—at the playing and at the singing.”

I blink again, completely lost to my thoughts of gorgeous blue eyes and sunny smiles. The woman gives me an amused but confused look, waiting for my response. 

“Uhh,” I shake my head to wake up, “Yeah, thanks.”

I look down at my hand then extend it, “Lena. Lena Brennan. Art.”

The woman smiles kindly and shakes my hand. 

_So soft…_

“Marley, Marley Rose. Orchestra, choir and Glee,” she says tenderly, “Nice to meet you, Lena.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's not obvious what the song is...


	8. Ghosting

**MIDVALE, CLIFORNIA**

**3 YEARS AGO**

Whatever air that was in my lungs felt stifling and contaminated with dust floating in its contents. The tiny bits of debris scratching against the walls of my lungs, a sensation that proved I was indeed awake. My eyes could not move from the sight. Every movement passing around me was ignored for what was in front of me.

Kara was a lovely girl. 

A beautiful girl in both mannerisms and physical appearance.

It was no surprise that with those angel eyes she could attract a male suitor in this god forsaken hell hole of a high school. 

It should not have been a surprise that she could attract the likes of Michael Mathews—the golden boy of Midvale High school.

The boy that would later grow up to be betrothed with the woman I loved. 

At this moment in time though, he was the boy that had all of her attention. 

Kara sat right next to him, glassy blue eyes gazing at him from her trance-like state. Michael, on the other hand, kept sending her sultry—ewww—looks back at her. I could feel the skin at the back of my neck crawl with disgust. 

I sighed, forcing myself to look away from the heart-shattering sight of Kara swooning over Michael’s crude language and holier than thou attitude. 

“I got to go,” I speak up, hoping I would get her attention.

I didn’t.

“Were you going Lena,” James asks, looking up from his conversation with Winn.

I glanced at Kara a final time before pulling the strap of my guitar’s case over my shoulder.

“Music room,” I shrug, “I’ll see you guys later.”

A round of ‘later Lena’ flickers through the group, except for Kara and Mr. College-Football-Star. 

I wave to the group of friends and brush away Kim and Ashley’s hands off my person, giving them a warning glare. My feet half-stomp down the path of the school’s quad and up the flight of short stairs leading to the closest entrance back into the school. I tiptoe my way past the teachers on guard duty and scramble my way up to the second floor, the complete opposite of the music room.

I make it to the hidden room and lightly tap on the glass. The sounds of shuffling chairs echo in the empty space before the door opens. Taking up the space of the entrance is a handsome Hispanic man wearing all black chinos and dress shirt, who looked most likely no older than forty. His hair cut short on his head. Clean shaven with the smell of aftershave. His tan arms were crossed with an expecting look in his black eyes.

Mr. Martinez huffs with a sad smile, “Well come in.”

The Hispanic man moves to allow me in. The white walls filled with frames and murals gave me comfort. To the end of the room was a two canvas stands, one of the canvas was already drawn on with pencil and spotted with acrylic paint. I give the man a thankful look and walk to sit in the empty stool that was placed in front of the empty canvas.

Mr. Martinez follows me and sits next to me, hands already a flurry in continuing his work. I put my guitar against the wall along with my backpack, I tug my black and yellow letterman off my torso and drape it over the closest chair. I pull out the HB pencil from the pencil can between us and begin to draw the basic shapes of my vision. Next to me, I hear the aloof teacher hum along to the tune only we could here.

The last few minutes pass, lunch ends and the sounds of next period starting can be heard over the sounds of pencil on canvas. Mr. Martinez stands, making sure to squeeze my shoulder before leaving me to my work. I hear him open the door to let the class in, leaving me be. My mind is too occupied in drawing to notice that the room had finally filled and the teacher begins to teach. I can feel a few stared behind me but I pay no mind as this is a regular occurrence.

The class passes by and I keep at it. I’m adding the finishing touches when the shrill sound of the period bell wakes me up from my concentration. Blinking rapidly, I look around and see my classmates begin to walk out, chatting along. Mr. Martinez walks from the other side of the room to stand next to me. I patiently wait for him to speak, used to his merisms by now.

“She looks lovely,” he says finally with a distant emotion.

I turn back and see the young woman smiling brightly back at us. I can make out the color of her blue eyes and dusty freckles over her cheeks, the color of her honey hair contrasting with the light green shirt she wore. The look she wore shined in the room, a look I saw a few moments ago. 

“She always does,” I whisper.

The teacher squeezes my shoulder again before helping me pack up. The canvas is quickly covered by a sheet and placed behind the other work-in-progress he keeps for himself. Once packed up the man hands me a hall pass with an understanding smile.

“’Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option,’” the teacher sighs.

I blink slowly, “So he says, but it’s just as hard to walk away then to stay.”

“Perhaps that is what you need,” Mr. Says, “Distance. There is a wonderful school in Metropolis, New School. It has a very good arts program. There is also Metropolis Academy of Dramatic Arts to think about if you want to continue with your music. I think you need to focus on yourself, Lena. Kara may be a kind girl, but she is hurting you without knowing—”

“Oh, she knows,” I huff, “There is not a person that _doesn’t_ know…”

“Then why stay,” he shakes his head, “You’ve given this girl everything, Lena. She will not return your affections and I must urge you to move on. You have much potential, but if you keep dragging your feet in a false hope that she will jump into your arms one day, life will pass before you. You need to break this cycle and start something new. Something far away from her.”

“And if I find myself back from where I started before,” I ask with anger in my being.

“Then you have yet to learn the lesson,” the man turns back around and walk to the white-board.

“What lesson,” I furrowed my eyebrows.

“To love is to take a chance,” he turns back around to me, “It’s the very emotion that we wish to find that kills us, either with happiness or with heartbreak. Kara..”

“Didn’t take a chance,” I complete his sentence.

He nods, “So it is time to find another chance. One that I’m sure you will enjoy. Art calls to you. Music calls to you. Follow it and see how far you go. With your talent, I’m sure it will take you far.” 

I sigh heavily, “I’m not going anyway near Metropolis or National City.”

Mr. Martinez nods and turns to his desk. In a practiced move, he opens a drawer and pulls out a thick mailing envelope. He turns back to me and hands the yellow envelope. I look down it and notice my name and the school’s address on it along with Mr. Martinez’s name. I look up to him in confusion.

“My brother Carlos works at Boulder University in Colorado. He’s in charge of the music program,” the man shrugs, “I asked him to get you some information. The dean was excited when he heard about you. They’re offering you a full scholarship if you play basketball with them on top of joining their theater group.”

I look back down at the envelope, “Colorado.”

“A new start. A new chance,” Mr. Martinez tells me.

“A new chance,” I echo, love-struck blue-eyes flashing in my mind.

_________________________________________________________

I blink rapidly, trying to bring myself back from the memory. The cold air helps as it brushes my rosy cheeks. I adjust my wool lined denim jacket, making sure not to scratch my guitar with the metal buttons. With a sigh, I turn back to my sketchbook. On the page is a small verse and a chorus, something that has not been changed since my run in with Marley a few days ago. 

It had been such a shock to run into the music teacher that I had forced myself to not pass by the music room. It may have taken longer for me to reach my classroom, but if the effort resulted in me not seeing the blue-eyed be—woman!

_Blue-eyed woman! That’s what I meant to say…_

_Ugh!_

_Really?_

_Really, Lena?_

I roll my eyes and look up to the sky.

“What else are you going to throw at me,” I huff at the grey sky, “I swear if it turns out she has a sister that looks like Alex, I’m moving to Mexico.”

Seeing that I’m not going to receive an answer, I busy myself playing the part of the song I do have on my guitar. The sound bounces on the stone building walls surrounding me. I quickly become engrossed with my work and forget about the woman I had rudely and hastily left Tuesday afternoon in a sunny music room.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**MARLEY POV**

The cold air makes me shiver as I walk down the steps and into the small area between buildings. I pull my jacket’s lapels closer together and button it up in an attempt to not let my warmth out and the cold in. The jacket did very little anyway, allowing the icy cold to seep in and through my silk blouse. I couldn’t comprehend why anyone would think it be a good idea to be outside eating, especially the ever-complaining student body. Just as that thought forms in my brain, I stop mid-step and tilt my head in confusion

_Lena?_

It seems that there were a few people crazy enough to be outside right now. With a spark of curiosity, I make my way to the art teacher, it was on my way to my room after all. The closer I got the more surprised I became. Sitting at the cold marble round table with her side profile faced to me, the teacher had a little black book in front of her and was scribbling in it intently. The book looked like the kind used for sketching as I could see that the pages were closer to yellow then to white. What surprised me more was the guitar placed carefully in her lap. 

_So, she can play the piano and the guitar on top being an artist and singer? Is this woman even real?_

A small smile twitches on my lips as I’m finally a few steps away from her. I could hear her mumble to herself and tap a soft beat with her left hand on the wood of her guitar. For a second, I worry about the state of the wooden instrument, but after noticing Lena’s crouched over form in an attempt to keep the instrument safe, I let it go.

“You know most Californians prefer the heat,” I speak up once I’m close enough to the teacher.

Lena’s surprise shows as her body shakes once then relaxes. The green-eyed woman looks up, making sure to set her tossed up pencil in the crease between the two sides of the book. 

“Well,” she sighs out, almost forceful, “I lived in Boulder for almost four years so it’s safe to say I’m fine with the cold.”

“Maybe it also has something to do with your name,” I tease just a bit.

Lena looks up at me with wide eyes, “How—”

“We all had a meeting to approve you,” I explain, trying to calm her down, “No one knows your name besides us: The Art Department and the administrators. Don’t worry.”

Lena starts at me deeply for a moment then finally seeing something in my eyes she nods.

“Okay,” she sighs, “I just don’t want to be attached to _those_ people anymore. You can choose your friends but not your family, right?”

I nod slowly, “Yeah I get it. So, what are you doing out here?”

Lena turns back to her book then at me again, “Writing. A song actually. The sound is nice here, thank God for natural acoustics.”

“Oh,” I try to hold back my excitement, but wince as I can hear the half-squeal anyway, “That’s nice…can I hear what you have so far?”

“Ugh,” Lena huffs, “I don’t know. It’s not much so far.”

I smile at her then sit across from her, hands on top of the tabletop. The folders I’m carrying are placed under my hands to keep the wind from blowing them away.

“Well maybe I can help,” I tell her, “I _dabble_ a bit at song writing too.”

 _Lies._

_All lies Marley._

“Oh really,” Lena hums disbelievingly, if only she knew, “Alright. But don’t lie to me okay?”

I nod, “Promise, pinky swear.”

I extend my pinky and wait for her to do the same. Lena stares at me again, another blank expression on her face, and finally gives in. Her pinky is longer than mine, all her fingers are long actually, and I can feel the tough skin of a musician under my touch. She graces me with a small smile and settles back into her playing position. I watch her fingers caress the stings with love for the instrument, then she begins to play with closed eyes.

_**Please don't see just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies** _

_**Please see me reaching out for someone I can't see** _

_**Take my hand let's see where we wake up tomorrow** _

_**Best laid plans sometimes are just a one night stand** _

_**I'd be damned Cupid's demanding back his arrow** _

_**So let's get drunk on our tears and** _

_**God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young** _

_**It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run**_

_**Searching for meaning** _

_**But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?** _

The last notes echo around the large space the high school provided. The sound of her voice mixed with the guitar’s twang give me shivers completely unrelated to the cold. I smile at her and wait for her to open her eyes to look at me. Once she looks at me, I feel a current of energy between us. Her lips part and a small exhale leaves her, soft scent of mint and smoke reaches my nose.

“So,” she whispers, “is it awful? I haven’t written something in a while so…”

“It’s good,” I nod, “It’s very good actually. Can I see what you wrote so far?”

The woman nods and pushes the book to me, going back to strum her guitar and hum along. The yellowish pages have elegant script branding it, cursive loops legible but very unique just like the writer. I look over the words and somehow feel a bit sad as I do. 

_It’s a sad song that could be interpreted to be happy._

_A heartbreak song._

_I hope she’s okay._

“Well maybe you need to finish the instrumental part then add the lyrics to what you come up with,” I say finally after looking over the beautifully written words, “I usually do that.”

Lena nods then turn the book back to her. I watch as she starts scribbling a few more lines to the pages then look up to me.

“So, what are you doing outside, Ms. Rose,” she tells me with a little smirk.

I feel a rising of heat in my cheeks, again not from the cold, “Oh, I kind of left some music sheets in my car and had to get them for next class. Lucky for me I don’t have a first-period class so…”

The woman smiles, this one kind and understanding, “Well what is so special about this music that you needed to brave the late winter air?”

_Is she flirting?_

_I think she’s flirting…_

I bite my lip to hold back a giggle, “Umm, it’s for the Spring Musical. We’re doing ‘Grease.’”

Lena suddenly stiffens in her seat, spine ram-rod straight and a pained expression on her face.

“Uh,” she stammers, “’Grease?’ Don’t you think you should do something less…overdone?”

I can see that her response is genuine, but only halfway. Her eyes have some amusement to it but they are mostly foggy with emotions that I can’t place quite yet.

_“You can tell a lot from someone’s eyes Marley.”_

I can hear Rachel’s voice echo in my head as I stare intently at Lena. Sure, enough I can pick up pain and sadness but also melancholy of memories.

“I promised a friend of mine I would,” I answer finally, “She’s getting some time off soon from work and she, along with some of my other friends, are going to come to see my first production.”

“Wait,” Lena raises a hand, “This is your first year?”

I nod and she gives me a surprised look.

“How old are you,” she asks.

“Oh,” I chuckle with confusion, “twenty-two.”

Somehow this amuses her because she plays a few bars on her guitar with a wolfish grin. I roll my eyes as she sings the few lines in a bubblegum-pop like voice to match her wide grin.

**_I don’t know about you but I’m feeling twenty-two_ **

**_Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you_ **

**_You don’t know about me, but I bet you want to_ **

**_Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we’re twenty-two_ **

“Oh god you’re terrible,” I say leaning forward to smack her shoulder softly with my folders, "You're the same age, Lena!"

The action just makes the art teacher burst out laughing. The musical sound makes me feel warm and giddy as well as make me laugh at how contagious it is. We laugh together for a while, admiring each other’s smiles. After our fit is done with a giggle or two, Lena calms down and becomes serious. I wait patiently for her to speak up and when she does, I’m a little surprised but pleasantly so.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you all week, Marley,” Lena apologizes looking directly into my eyes, “It’s just...you reminded me of someone and I felt like I saw a ghost.”

“Look like me,” I ask with a raised eyebrow, “How close do we look like then?”

Lena pauses for a moment then pulls out her phone from her jacket pocket. I watch as she taps on the screen and finally hands me the device. I look at the screen and feel the air knocked out of me. ON the screen is Lena, in a black and yellow letterman jacket and even though she looks just a few years younger she still has the same air she has now. Next to her is a pretty girl with brown hair that looks almost red. To the other side of Lena is a girl that looks very _very_ much like me, only with golden honey blonde hair.

“Wow,” I whisper, “That’s sort of creepy.”

Lena’s haunted chuckle catches my attention and I look up worried. The woman’s face has a haunted look and the smirk that she’s wearing is more painful than playful. My eyebrows furrow and I lean forward to take her right hand, stopping her impromptu vibrato practice. Lena’s emerald green eyes turn to look at me, a bit hesitant and rightfully so. 

“It’s okay,” I tell her, “I’m not her though. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

The way Lena lets out a tearful laugh makes my heart squeeze in sadness. The woman shakes her head before speaking.

“Kara. She was my first—is my first love. I accepted we won’t be together, but it still stings,” the woman sighs, not meeting my gaze, “But, I just wanted you to know why I freaked out on you and ran off. I've been trying to move on but sometimes you fall off the wagon, you know?”

I smile and take squeeze the soft hand in mine, “Don’t worry Lena, I understand. My ex, Jake, was nice but he and I just weren’t meant to be. I think you should just throw yourself into something, work or music, whatever it may be. Obviously, you were meant to do other things, or you would be with her. My friend, Rachel, went through something similar. If she hadn’t followed Quinn’s advice, she would not have followed her dreams and be where she is right now.”

I watch intently as Lena stares out into the mountain, “I guess you’re right. It still hurts like hell though.”

I laugh softly, “Yeah, well I’m sure a beautiful woman like you will find another beauty to have in your arms soon. Especially here! We may live in a small town but we do have a thriving LGBT community.”

“Are-,” Lena gapes, “are you suggesting I get a rebound?”

My chortles echo in the cold air while Lena’s expression changes to an amused and slightly offended look.

I wipe the tear that is on the edge of falling, “No, I just meant that you are really pretty and won’t have trouble finding a girlfriend if you tried to find one.”

The woman stares at me again, heat suddenly starts surfacing up to my cheeks under her penetrative gaze.

“Is that an offer Ms. Rose,” she smirks, “I thought workplace shenanigans were not allowed.”

My mouth suddenly feels dry and my whole body heats up to create heatwaves around me in the bitter cold. Seeing the deer-caught-in-headlights expression I have, Lena laughs. Even though the source of her happiness was created out of my expense, I’d let her tease me all she wants if I get to see her sad green-eyes fill with amusement.

“So, I think I know how you can repay me for ghosting me,” I speak up once Lena is sober enough to listen, “I need a hand with all the clubs I do. Glee and theater especially. I was hoping you could help, seeing that you have two periods for yourself and obviously musically inclined.”

The art teacher raises an eyebrow at me, “And what's in it for me?”

My breathe hitches as I stare at the expression the woman has. I couldn’t help myself as I traced the eyebrow with my eyes down to her deep green eyes. With a bite to my bottom lip, I clear my windpipe and answer her.

“It's a nice outlet and I’m sure you’ll like it,” I whisper then school my features into puppy dog eyes, “Please? Lena?”

Lena for her part hesitates but reluctantly nods, “Okay, fine. But you have to help me with this song. Okay?”

“And you have to tell me if I’m doing something that’s making you uncomfortable,” I add, “We can’t be friends if you keep ghosting me.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” Lena nods slowly, “Deal.”

I grin at her and extend my pink towards her again “Deal.”

The girl chuckles and extends her own, entwining our fingers gently.

“Now let me walk you to your room, Ms. Rose.”


	9. It's Everything You Need

I didn’t understand how in movies the protagonist would fall completely for their leading man or woman in a few short meetings. It was very unrealistic to me how with a glance or a smile they would be head over heels for one person they only met by chance.

I didn’t understand all of that until now.

Until I spent a whole period with Lena Luthor Brennan.

Lena is charming and witty. Her smile is bright and contagious. The air around her is magnetic, that fact is clear as we walk through the North wing and into the South wing of the school with teachers and students alike waving at her as we pass. Even a few custodians walking past stop working and greet the new teacher with happy smiles and bright eyes. She’s polite and kind, but also playful with each one of her new acquaintances. It’s really surprising that this woman has only been here for a few days yet has created connections with almost everyone in the building.

She stops almost every other door we pass to stare at the murals painted on the walls. At times she points out shapes or hidden symbols and explains them to me. She makes it sound as if we’re walking in the Louvre not the hallways of Durango High School. Her intelligence and ability to memorize so much information is amazing and impressive. Her soft and warm voice has a musical quality to it that after a few minutes of hearing her talk, I end up just staring forward into space and listening to whatever she’s saying. Once in a while, she taps my shoulder with the edge of her sketchbook or knuckle of her middle finger, gaining my attention somewhere else.

There are times when she’s speaking so excitedly and engrossed with what she’s trying to tell me that I turn to look at her. Her eyes wide with excitement and hands moving wildly with every word make my whole body feel like an electric current is passing by me. On those few occasions when I end up staring at her and not hearing a word she says; she turns to look at me and give me a confused look. I just end up shaking my head for her to continue, making sure I give her a little grin for encouragement. This usually ends with her smiling at me with a blush and walking away, head tilted down to her shoes in embarrassment. I try not to giggle then, her adorable reaction making me feel bubbly with a joy I haven’t felt in a while if at all. 

We make it to my room a few minutes before the bell rang, an amazing feat as I felt Lena and I had spent a whole hour looking at teenage recreations of art on cement walls. I go to my desk and spread out the music sheets on top, grabbing a pen to mark each sheet with the appropriate name. 

“So, when is auditions,” the other woman asks as she taps on the wood floor with her dress shoes, eyes burning over the auditions poser Todd and Rebecca made Tuesday.

“Friday,” I tell her, “So today. Can you stay after school? I think you’d be helpful as you don’t know the kids very well yet.”

I watch Lena tap a rhythm on the floor, the sound echoing in the room, then look up at me with a blank expression. Her eyes are guarded again, most likely from the memories also swirling in her eyes. I sigh but give her an open expression to allow her to do as she wishes.

“Yeah, no problem,” she nods, a little bit more open, “Need me to bring anything?”

I smile and shrug, “Your guitar if you want? We have everything in the auditorium.”

Lena nods then shrugs back, “Okay well, I’ll see you later?”

“Lunch,” I ask slowly, “If you want?”

Lena bites her lip and my eyes gravitate to look at the soft lip between white teeth. A second passes by and she lets go. Her posture relaxes a little, her left hand doing that vibrato practice again. I make not of the action in my mind and cross my arms while watching her with soft eyes.

With a shake of her head she shrugs, “Um, I can’t. I have to grade papers for this week, but I’ll see you after school.”

A bit confused with her back and forth but not bold enough to ask, I agree and watch her leave with a small wave over her shoulder. I continue to stare at the entrance even after the door closes after her. A few seconds pass and I finally decide to call the one person that can help me understand what is happening. I open my bag and pull out my phone, a few taps on the screen and I’m waiting for the other line to pick up.

“Hey, baby girl. How you doin',” the deep voice answers with glee.

“Hi Unique,” I huff.

**_“Ah, something happened,” she says, “Tell Auntie Unique all about it. Wait! Is this about the new teacher? The one that you said was annoying you. The one you said was ‘extremely talented with a jawline you could cut diamonds on?’”_ **

I feel a deep blush rushing to my face but don’t answer. My best friend takes this as an agreement, and I have to pull the speaker away from my ear as her booming laughter comes out.

“Unique,” I huff, stomping my foot, “You said you wouldn’t bring that up!”

**_“No honey, you said you wanted me not to and I said you’d deal with it. Deal with it. Now, what happened? Did she square up to you? Do you need me to call Santana? She’s in Seattle right now but I’m sure she won—”_ **

“No,” I squeak, “No! Santana is not needed. Thanks though. And yes, it’s about Lena.”

**_“Ah, its Lena now,” I try not to groan at her amused tone, “Not Ms. Brennan? You friends now?”_ **

This time I do groan and shake my head, the tight bun on top of my head crying in desperation of not coming apart.

“Unique,” I whine, “Let me just tell you and then you can tease me. I have class in five and have to tell _someone_ urgently.”

I hear the woman sigh in playful sadness, **_“Okay, shoot.”_**

I grin with a small blush rising in my cheeks and start telling her about the enigma that is Lena Luthor Brennan.

\--------------------------------------------------------------- 

**LENA POV**

There is a thin blanket of panic sweat over my back as I make it to my classroom. The strap of my guitar cuts into the scar on my right shoulder but the feelings that I’m going through are too strong to ignore. I grunt and put the instrument in its case, now free of pictures and the like. I drag myself to the stool I keep in the back of the room and sit on top of it, a blank canvas waiting for me on a stand. I stare at the white surface and then huff to myself.

“It’s those damn eyes,” my fingers rub the corners of my eyes, “I know it’s not her, but I can’t help it!”

I groan again and stand up, the stool tilting to one side but settling back into its spot. My mind turns over the thought of attaching my feelings I have of Kara to Marley. I pace back and forth in front of my desk, trying to process what I feel for each woman separately. It’s when the bell rings for the first period to end, that I give up sorting through these thoughts and prepare for my first class of the day. 

The room is filled with groggy teenagers soon enough and I take out a stack of papers I prepared yesterday. Once the late bell rings I close the two doors and turn to the whiteboard. I hear whispers and a few coughs from the bout of flu going around as I draw each of the four steps for the drawing of the day. With each step made I pull away to wait for the class to recreate, every time something is added I hear mumbles about what I could be drawing or light chit-chat. Some of the teasings between the students about each other’s skills make me want to snicker, but I hold it back.

After five minutes, I turn away from the board and look over the finch on the board. My trained eye looks it over, making sure it looks just right, and I cap my marker. A smirk falls onto my face as I see the students intently work on the final step. I could see myself sitting in their place with my tongue sticking out of my mouth, Mr. Martinez rolling his eyes at my need for perfection. 

“Alright,” I speak up, “I have something for all of you. Pass them down please.”

I make to sperate parts to the stack of papers I have and give one to each side of the long table. The students grab one for themselves and even for the ones still working, I smile proudful that they are helping each other instead of going at each other’s necks.

“Okay, I have your first project ready and we will be going to the computer lab Monday,” I tell them going to the projector now, “There is a type of art that is very hard to create. The artists stand still for hours and even have to plan out multiple strategies for their works. They come for all parts of places and one of my favorites is Joaquin Sorolla, a Spanish Impressionists. I want you to take this small trip to get information. Look at these painters on this list I handed out. Pick one, learn about them and choose one piece of artwork. At the end of the week you will give a small presentation about them and their work, if you do well then, I will give you a prize and a good grade. Deal?”

The classroom echoes with agreements and a few mumbles. Satisfied with their response I start the PowerPoint I have set up. The screen turns black then vibrant yellow, on the corner of the yellow tile is Sorolla in all his glory.

“This is Señor Joaquín Sorolla. He was an amazing man with a hard life and an amazing eye for detail. He lived as he did, with no care for fame. Only perfection in his work. He comes from a long line of Spanish painters that were accepted into Italian palaces of art,” I pause, “One of his colleges was Pablo Picasso.”

I go into a speech about the Spanish man, making sure to tell them about his struggles with 18th-century racism and society. The kids stay quiet but ask questions when I leave the space for them to do so. I’m closing in on the last slide when I turn around and see a student raise her hand. The girl is pale, just a shade lighter than me with fiery red hair and soft hazel eyes. The girl’s round face is still childlike, but her stature shows her true age. I smirk at the gangly thing and nod for her to speak.

“What’s your favorite painting of his,” Rebecca asks politely, some of her classmates nod along.

My smirk turns into a smile and turn around, clicking the PowerPoint to the fifth and final slide. I hear gasps and sounds of awe; my smirk grows into a grin. The white wall now has a projection of my favorite painting for a man living over a hundred years ago. The picture had multiple women in a flamenco dance while others watch one with happy smiles. The colors of flowers and party decorations are bright and cheery, standing out against the marble columns and walls. 

“You should see it in real life, it’s massive. Seville, the Dance,” I tell them with a wave to the painting, “When you go to one of his exhibits, you hear the sounds of Spanish music sounding through the exhibit. In other sections, you hear the sea lapping against the beach, traffic, people, nature, whatever sounds you hear are matched with what you are seeing. That is what he wanted. It becomes a VR experience of itself. If you stare and focus, you’re standing right there, with a camera and a foggy lens. Impressionism is just that, the illusion of being in that moment but not completely. You fill in the dots yourself, so you see something different than the person standing next to you.”

I can hear the love and care in my voice trail off as I continue to stare at the projection. We stay there staring for a few minutes, transfixed on the art before I turn back around to face my class.

“That’s what art is,” I explain to the spellbound students. “Create something that can be interpreted into many other things. When I see this painting, I feel the soft brushing of fabric against me, I hear laughing and talking and music. I taste spices of food and the acidity of wine on my tongue. I remember my time in Spain, even if I have never been there. Find something like that, okay? Something that draws you in and takes over all your senses.”

The students look at me with awe as they nod. I smile back at them and return to my desk, my Oxfords tapping on the wooden floor.

“Work on your pieces from this week. I want them in my possession today,” I tell them, now opening my sketchbook, “Get to work.”

The class passes by steady and with chatter among the students. Some of the kids come up to me and ask me my opinion on a section or color, happy to approach me with their questions I give them full answers. The class ends with a few goodbyes and papers given to me with small proud grins. The last students file out, but I notice Rebecca linger until she’s the last one. Patiently I wait for her to approach me and when she does, I give her an encouraging smile.

“Here’s my work ma’am,” she says handing me her paper.

I look over it and see her work. The poses of her models are fluid and I can tell she did not lift her pencil for the paper as she was told to do. I look through the next sheet and see that continue on to the second activity. A woman stretching back in a pose that looks like 

“Ms. Brennan,” the girl asks, “I made you something.”

“Something,” I echo, “You didn’t have to.”

“I know. It’s just, I’ve noticed you don’t go eat with the other teachers,” she shrugs, “It must be hard starting halfway through the year so I thought this might cheer you up.”

The girl pulls out a frosty plastic tub and hands it to me. I raise an eyebrow but open the box anyway. Inside are chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, and a few oatmeal cookies each perfectly made. 

I look up to the sophomore with a surprised look, “Wow, thank you. This very thoughtful of you.”

Rebecca smiles, “Your welcome. I really hope you like it here Ms. Brennan. I talked to some of my friends and we agreed that we like you a lot. Mr. Owens wasn’t very hands-on with the class, but you make it seem more than just a class. I was hoping you could see some of my other work. I want to go into art school, like my dad, and I can tell you know a lot so…”

I blink and remember how close I became to my own teacher and settle into a wistful expression. I smile kindly at the girl and place the tub on my desk. Standing up from my seat I walk to the small bookcase I had added to the room. I look quickly over the books and pull out a rather thick book. Handing the blue book to Rebecca, I cross my arms and look her over.

“Read this, it’s one of my books from university,” I nod towards the book, “It gives you basics on art, the first year of art school. I suggest you read it over including the notes I have made in the margins. Complete the practice activities in each section. I have first and fifth period to myself as well as first lunch. I’ll also be staying an hour after school from now on. You can find me anytime during those hours for me to look over your work.”

The girl’s eyes widen excitedly as she looks from the book to me, “I—I, thank you, Ms. Brennan. I’ll read it cover to cover and I’ll make sure to work on the activities. Thank you, really.”

A big smile shines on my face as I nod to my student, “Don’t worry about it, Rebecca. It’s my job to help any of my students. Just keep up the good work, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” the girl nods.

In a surprising move, she darts forward and hugs me once before scampering out of the room. I blink rapidly, still frozen in place with my arms crossed, as the next group of students files in. Once I’m finally unfrozen, I let out a large bark of laughter, scaring the kids as they haven’t’ seen me laugh in the few days here. With a shake of my head, I turn back to the board, erasing the finch and starting a new one.

\------------------------------------------------------ 

**MARLEY POV**

My black heels click on the linoleum flooring as I try to get to the school auditorium before anyone else. The effort is rewarded when I enter the large space with only a few spotlights shining on the deeply marked black stage. I sigh with relief and make my way to the small desk placed onstage, once there I start righting everything for today’s rehearsals. As I’m prepping for everything the live band arrives and starts setting up as well. I make sure to thank the teachers for their time and make sure they are ready, mind now turning to the other teacher that should be in the room.

Ten minutes after I arrive all of the students, I expect to show up are taking the front seats patiently waiting for me to begin. I furrow my eyebrows and look down at my wristwatch.

“She’s late,” I mumble.

“Ms. Rose?”

I look up and see Veronica, my first pick for Sandy, raising her hand. I give her a nod and wait for her to speak.

“When are we starting,” the girl asks, some of her classmates agreeing with her.

“Uh,” I stammer, “I’m waiting for someone.”

“A new teacher,” Todd asks, a black letterman on his torso as usual, “Are they serious? You know what happened last time…”

I blush as the other students start snickering. In an attempt to expand the reach of the school’s music programs, I had posted an inquiry list in the teachers’ lounge for help. The only one to answer was Coach Smith. I shudder at the thought of his constant flirting during those few days he was around me, now I stay far away from him and asking for help. Well most help, Jack and Jess had taken up to make up a band to help me out. I suppose it could be counted as cheating to have them help but they enjoyed spending time with these kids as well.

I shake my head and bring myself back, “Yes, she’s serious. Don’t worry, she’s good.”

“Oh? Is she?”

At the sound of the husky feminine voice, I stand up straighter with tumbling in my stomach to the magnitude of laundry in a dryer shakes my core. I slowly turn to the right side of the stage and see Lena slowly walk into the first of three spotlights on stage. Her hair is now wild released from the tight bun from this morning. Her raven hair lays wavy over her denim jacket and black dress shirt. Her hands are tucked into her maroon chinos while her black oxfords are still as shiny as this morning.

“A bit late there, Ms. Rose,” she says with a blank face, but I can see the mirth in her eyes, “Any of my kids can tell you that I don’t like tardiness.”

I try not to blush so as to not make a scene in front of my kids, but I can hear Susan and Margie snicker at me. My eyes don’t move from the dark woman, the rather travel over her in curiosity from her dramatic entrance. I immediately notice the air around her is much more centered then earlier, as if standing on stage gives her more confidence. 

_Or maybe she’s made up her mind?_

_I hope._

“Wait,” Max speaks up from the second row, “We were waiting for the new art teacher?”

“Yeah,” another boy scoffs, Dan, “What’s so special about her?”

Lena turns to look out over to the kids. With narrowed eyes, they settle down, surprised at her intense gaze. With a cluck of her tongue, she walks further onto the stage. I watch as she approaches the band and takes one of the electric guitars. She strums it then nods at Jack before turning back to the audience.

“Nothing much,” she smirks.

With a screech, the guitar shreds and forces all eyes on her and the smirk she’s wearing. At that moment, as if choreographed, all lights turn off except for the center stage one Lena is standing in. Another screech followed by a few more and the confused air in the auditorium changes to awe towards the woman. With each powerful shred she pushes from the guitar, a band member enters the song only they can hear. Once Andy’s sound effects join in, the song’s title is clear to me, but not to the students as they gasp when Lena opens her mouth to sing.

 

_**Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for** _  
_**Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor** _  
_**And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore** _  
_**Taking your breath, stealing your mind** _  
_**And all that was real is left behind** _

 

There’s a dangerous look in Lena eyes that makes me swallow in an attempt to wet my dry mouth. Her powerful voice booms in the room with no aid of equipment, sounding over the loud instruments with a breeze. My eyes don’t leave her as she walks forward, still playing but obviously putting on a show for all to see. Her hands move with strength, giving each phrase more emotion with each strum. 

 

_**Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya** _  
_**It's only this moment, don't care what comes after** _  
_**Your fever dream, can't you see it getting closer** _  
_**Just surrender 'cause you feel the feeling taking over** _  
_**It's fire, it's freedom, it's flooding open** _  
_**It's a preacher in the pulpit and you'll find devotion** _  
_**There's something breaking at the brick of every wall, it's holding** _  
_**All that you know** _  
_**So tell me do you wanna go?** _

 

Suddenly all the lights turn on, bathing the whole stage with colors of all kinds. My eyes widen as Lena closes her eyes and sings with no barriers holding her back. Her hands are still moving with a flurry of movement, as if she could see her finger positions better with her eyes closed.

_Wait…_

_Who’s working the lights?_

 

_**Where it's covered in all the colored lights** _  
_**Where the runaways are running the night** _  
_**Impossible comes true, it's taking over you** _  
_**Oh, this is the greatest show** _  
_**We light it up, we won't come down** _  
_**And the sun can't stop us now** _  
_**Watching it come true, it's taking over you** _  
_**Oh, this is the greatest show** _

 

Questions on how she managed to find someone to work the lights for her stop in favor of my eyes deciding to move to watch her hands as she does a solo over her singing.

_Practically making love to that guitar._

I feel my cheeks burn red hot at the thought, but I can feel myself nod in agreement to my own thoughts. I can hear Unique’s voice from earlier in my head. 

_Maybe I do have a thing for her…_

 

_**Colossal we come these renegades in the ring** _  
_**Where the lost get found in the crown of the circus king** _  
_**Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya** _  
_**It's only this moment, don't care what comes after** _  
_**It's blinding, outshining anything that you know** _  
_**Just surrender 'cause you're calling and you wanna go** _

 

I watch as she works the song into a powerful rock song. Her effortless change to the song makes me giddy, as I’m transported back to Lima surrounded by the New Directions. I suddenly feel sixteen again as I watch her. Falling for jocks and writing half-assed love songs. Hiding from slushies and having late not conversations with friends. Giddy at getting to Glee so I could hear the newest arrangements my teammates had up their sleeves. Needing to express my feelings through song instead of discussions.

My thoughts on my teenage years grind to a halt when the tumbling in my stomach worsens like a tsunami. Lena is doing a hip thrust in time with her stomping, gaining my full attention and most likely everyone else. I bite my lip tightly to the point of breaking my skin as my eyes stay frozen on the powerful emotion on her face, free and dangerous.

_Okay._

_Yes._

_Yes, I do have a thing for Lena._

_But it’s just a crush…_

_I think._

_**It's everything you ever want** _  
_**It's everything you ever need** _  
_**And it's here right in front of you** _  
_**This is where you wanna be** _  
_**It's everything you ever want** _  
_**It's everything you ever need** _  
_**And it's here right in front of you** _  
_**This is where you wanna be** _  
_**This is where you wanna be** _

Lena finally stays in the center of the now single spotlight. She opens her eyes and glares down her audience, as if in a challenge. I should feel concerned about her staring down teenagers, but a thrill runs through my veins as she squares her shoulders in a powerful stance. I gulp again as she jumps mid-word to stand on top of the speaker at the end of the stage. She jumps off the stage, pulling a worried gasp from me. I watch with my jaw hanging open as she simply pauses for a second once she’s landed then swaggers her way to stand in front of the teenagers.

_Jesus Christ! She is not real!_

 

_**'Cause everything you want is right in front of you** _  
_**And you see the impossible is coming true** _  
_**And the walls can't stop us now, yeah** _

I can feel myself swoon as Lena pushes out another guitar solo as she sings the last lines, eyes pinning down my kids onto their seats. I can see the power in her from staring at her taut back, back straight and shoulders squared up to appear bigger. I bite my lip as I follow loose material of her jacket then the tail of her shirt as it falls over her ass. I cough, thankful that the music is so loud to not draw attention to me.

_NO!_

_Bad Marley!_

Lena’s voice rings through the auditorium long after she sings the last line. All eyes are stuck on her as in a smooth move she pushes the guitar to hang over her back like a sword. I watch as the students stay frozen in place while Lena stares them down. All air is sucked in the room when she clucks her tongue again.

“Any questions,” she says with a cold and challenging tone.

The kids all shake their heads in the negative, some looking scared shirtless and others with awe and amazement.

“Good,” Lena huffs, turning away and walking back to the stage stairs.

I don’t say anything as Lena comes to stand next to me. I look down at her with a surprised look. The woman just smirks at me then winks. I look away quickly and make myself busy pushing the papers on my desk. I can hear my co-workers snicker and guffaw from their spot on-stage. I’m about to look up and give them a glare when the hairs on the back of my neck stand, Lena’s distance has closed in on me and her mouth is near my ear.

“I hope you don’t underestimate me either,” Lena whispers, “I’ve got quite the temper, Ms. Rose.”

I feel a cold bucket of ice fall on me yet at the same time, I feel an inferno take over the air around me. I can feel my heartbeat pick up the pace like a racing stallion during a race. 

_I am screwed!_


	10. Not Fair

**MIDVALE, CALIFORNIA**  
**FOUR YEARS AGO**

The summer had been dreadful. Father had gotten ill, if being found by one of your executives in your office barely breathing counts as ill. It happened a few days before Senior year ended, and as Lillian did not want bad publicity for the family I was dragged out of school and into a jet. I still didn’t know why they really needed me, they kept Lionel’s two month trip to the family hospital a secret as to not show weakness to the outside world. To top it all off, it didn’t matter to me anyway at this point. I had lost all the love I had for them if I had any towards them. It seems terrible but I could care less for the man's impending demise. 

I returned to California a few days before school started, hoping to god I still had friends since Lillian forbid me to contact anyone while I was with them. Imagine my surprise when I turned on my phone after retrieving it from my unopened backpack to see that no one attempted to contact me. No text messages, no emails, no calls. Nothing.

The last few days passed by and I was starting Senior year of high school, determined to find out exactly why my so-called friends didn’t contact me. I, however, received the answer when I reached my first period, a class I already hated as it was Math. So, the scales tipped heavily against the class even more so the second I walked into the classroom only to see Mike sitting with his gaggle of jock friends around him.

I bit my lip in anger and frustration as I hold back a groan. Rolling my head back to stare up at the peeling paint of the ceiling, I quietly walked down the small space between desks to sit on a seat far enough away from him to keep myself from choking the airhead. A few minutes pass and the teacher has yet to show up so all the students, minus no-friend-Lena-Luthor, started chatting away to fill in the quiet surrounding us.

I’m pulling out a notebook from my maroon backpack when I hear one of Mike’s goons laugh with delight. Annoyed I try to not listen but somehow my attention is caught.

“Oh _come on!_ You telling us that little Miss Sunshine invited you to her Aunt’s ranch for the _whole_ summer! You lucky son of a bitch,” one of the boy partly shouts while the others cheered along.

_He what?_

“I’m serious, she invited me and some of her friends. It was like one of those chick flics,” Mike popped the collar of his polo shirt, “Went swimming at the lake near the ranch, she looks hot in a bikini by the way. Learned how to ride a horse with her sister. We even had a bonfire almost every night. It was awesome. I can’t wait to ask her out later this week. I’ve been digging her since last year and I hope she digs me too.”

The boys start a round of high fives and crude language that would make me cringe if I hadn’t gotten focused on what he first said.

_Some of her friends?_

_Who went?_

_Did no one think of inviting me?_

_Kara obviously didn’t._

A furry I had only felt towards the Luthors filled my being. As I process my thoughts on the matter a sense of disappointment and sadness takes over my anger. 

_I guess Lex was right._

_No one really seeks a Luthor without having an agenda ready._

I shake my head and sit up when the teacher arrives. In a robotic motion, I follow along to the class, pick my locker for the year, pick up my textbook and so on. By the end of class, I haven’t heard a single word as my thoughts churn worse case scenarios as to what happened this summer. My concern wasn’t towards my father but to the people, I had let in during these past three years here in Midvale. 

The bell rings and I take the secret hallway entrance back into the main building, ignoring anyone who tries to talk to me. The first half of the day goes on like this, luckily Lillian had forced me to test out of the majority of my classes this year as to prepare me in case I had to leave back for Metropolis at a moment’s notice. Having almost all elective classes made it easier to avoid everyone and I was doing well until the bell for lunch rang. I’m halfway to my car when a hand grabs my writs, stopping me in my tracks and gaining my attention. I look up and feel a bath of cold water fall onto me.

_Kara._

_I can’t not right now._

The girl’s warm blue eyes shine with concern at me, “I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now. Are you okay?”

A hot flash of anger fills me again, I pull away from her with a yank of my hand. I stare at her with cold eyes, pinning her in place then turn back around to continue on my way. I dodge another grab and hop to cut her off at a turn, going up the stairs quickly. I can hear Kara follow me and decide to make my way into the gym, hoping that I can cut through the building and into the student parking lot. Kara follows me into the gym, now shouting for me to stop. Noticing that there are a few students playing and not wanting their attention on us, I stop and turn around placing the infamous Luthor mask over my face.

“What Kara,” I grunt, “What do you want?”

“You’ve been ignoring everyone, and you only do that when something is wrong. I want to know what’s wrong,” she says with sad eyes, “We tell everything to each other.”

“Evidently we don’t,” I let out a mirthless laugh.

“What,” she whispers confused.

“Do you know I did this summer,” I huff.

“I—I,” she hesitates, “No I don’t I was…”

“Lodging with your Aunt and your boyfriend,” I scoff, “Oh, I forgot that you weren’t alone. Right? I suppose the others were also too caught up to leave a message as well.”

Kara blinks rapidly, “Lee, what—"

“You know what it doesn't matter,” I shake my head, “I have to get to class—”

“No, Lena. Say what you were going to say,” Kara crosses her arms, “Go ahead, I want to hear it.”

I laugh, upset even more, “Like you even—”

Before I could continue my thought, someone yells halfway across the basketball court.

“LOOK OUT!”

I turn and with quick reflexes extend my hand over Kara’s face, grabbing the orange ball in one hand with ease. I feel Kara’s breath on my hand as I move back into the stance I was in before the projectile almost knocked out the blonde. I look over to the court and see the girls’ basketball team as a whole. A few I could name as contrary to movies, some jocks are smart as hell and I have had in my advanced placement classes. I watch as Haden walks towards me, a small smirk on her face while the other girls seem to be sharing a conversation through stares. 

“Hey Lena,” she says once close enough to us, “Nice catch. Want to play with us?”

I look at the girl and take her in. She’s wearing athletic pants with a thin shirt over her torso and a pair of expensive running shoes on her feet. Her brunette hair is pulled back to stop it from hitting her face. It's her stare of understanding and knowledge that convinces me to allow her help. 

I nod slowly and hand her the ball, “Sure, um thanks.”

Hayden smiles happily at me and tugs on my leather jacket, “Take this off then, it’ll make you slow. Come on, you’re on my team.”

The girl pulls me with the hand that isn’t holding the ball and I’m on the court, completely forgetting the blonde that is still in the same spot from before. The other girls greet me with a nod of a head or a wink, a few give me a pat on the back as I joint them. I take off my jacket and throw it along with my backpack with their stuff.

“Okay, you know how to play,” Hayden asks, “Any strengths?”

“Um,” I hesitate, “I have good stamina, and um coach usually would put me as a forward.”

“Yeah she’s good,” another girl, Payton says, “She’s fast and usually kicks the boys' ass whenever we got separated into teams last year.”

Hayden looks me over again then nods, “Okay, follow me. If the ball goes to defense, whoever is closer gets it okay?”

I nod, “Okay.”

“Let’s go then,” Payton shouts.

It takes a few minutes to get into the game, but when I do I’m pushing the girls harder than before I showed up. We end up working a good sweat and filling the court with shouts and smack talk. It feels good to use the energy I had before in a physical way. I hadn’t glanced over to where I left Kara but a few looks from the other girls tell me she’s gone, leaving my new space untainted. A few minutes before the bell rings we stop and go to the locker room to freshen up, luckily I put some extra clothes inside my locker so I changed in them while I was there. 

I’m putting on my shirt when the Payton and Hayden approach me, the other girls within earshot look up at the scene.

“You were really good Lena,” Hayden smirks, patting my shoulder, “You should think of joining the team.”

“What me,” I ask, looking around and seeing nods and smirks for the girls, “No. How anyway? It's my senior year and unless I get placed in Varsity…”

“That’s where we come in,” Payton claps once, “We’ll vouch for you. Besides, Allysa graduated last year and we need a new forward. If you go to try out I’m sure you’ll beat the other easy. Come on Lena! We worked well together. Right?”

The other girls yell and nod in agreement. I feel a blush run up my cheeks at their friendly faces.

“Besides,” one of the girls I just met speaks up, Brandi, “You’d look really good in a letterman.”

Some of the girls giggle with excited nods and others roll their eyes. I, on the other hand, feel the blush on my cheeks become fire hot. I cough once then cross my arms, a little embarrassed at the fact that all of them can see my preference. I try to ignore some of their knowing looks and speak up.

“I won’t have time,” I trail off.

“Why? How many things do you do then,” Payton asks.

“Journalism, Glee, Theater, Robotics, Mock trial, Chess—”

“When the hell do you sleep,” Hayden shouts, “Girl, you need to prioritize. Do you even like any of those things?”

I blink and think it over, “Well I like Glee and theater—”

“Then give the others up and play with us,” Brandi scoffs, “Come on Lee, I’m sure we can win state with you. Hell, we can even go to nationals!”

Another round of agreements and I’m rubbing my forehead eyes staring at the floor. The room gets quiet, I look up and see Coach Stovall walk in, her bright hazel eyes contrasting against her bronze skin. I gulp as she walks up to me and looks me over.

“You know, I liked you last year when you basically slapped that bird into Justice’ face during gym,” she says with a blank face, “And I knew something was up with you today when you were brooding. I think this might be good for you. New people to surround you, able to knock you down if you get too out of it. I’ll give you a chance to get on varsity, but I won’t show favoritism. Tryouts are on Friday after school. We practice an hour after school has been let out. Some of these girls have other clubs to do so don’t worry about that. Okay?”

I blink, “You think I’d be good on your team?”

The woman nods once, “I’ve seen you kick ass all last year. You’re good, unpolished but good. So?”

I look around to the girls and see them all smile at me. I look back to my teacher and nod slowly.

“Okay, sure,” I agree, “I’ll try out then.”

The woman smirks and claps me on my back before turning to leave the locker room. The woman pauses then looks over her shoulder.

“I’ve got passes for you girls,” she smirks, “the bell rang a few minutes ago.”

My eyes widen comically, and I shout, “WHAT!?”

I quickly grab my things and jump over the rows of wooden benches like a track and field star. In a flash, I’m pushing past Coach and running up the stairs, the loud echoing of laughter trailing after me. I don’t look back and just run up the flight of stairs to the second floor. I look down at my G-Shock and push the last few feet into Art class. Just as the bell is ringing, I slide on the slippery parts of my Converse and make it into the class.

I heave, hands on my knees and backpack half off my shoulder tangled with my leather jacket. A cough gets my attention, so I look up to see a Hispanic man wearing nothing but black business attire giving me an unimpressed look. I feel a blush run up my face as his dark eyes bore into mine.

“I’m sorry sir. I was with Coach Stovall—”

“One time,” he says coldly.

“I—I’m sorry,” I gasp, still trying to catch my breath.

“One time I will allow you to come in late,” he says with narrowed eyes, “The next time you are late, bring a pass or don’t show up.”

I feel the blush take over my face and blend into the roots of my hair, “Yes, sir. It won’t happen again.”

The man nods and signals for me to find a seat. The only available spot on the long table is the corner one next to his desk and the whiteboard he is standing at, so I take it reluctantly. 

“That goes for everyone,” he speaks to the class, “If I can cut my lunch short and get here so can all of you.”

A round of mumbled ‘yes’ and the class begins. Even through my embarrassment, I can tell this will be my favorite class and my favorite teacher.

_________________________________________________. 

“Hey, you okay?”

I shake my head and look up from the spot I was staring at. Marley is looking at me with concerned baby blues. I shrug with a small smile, thankful for her concern. 

“Yeah, just remembering something,” I mumble, “Um, so who’s next?”

I look over the sheet filled with the student’s names then look up when Marley takes my left hand in hers. The warmth catches my attention, so I look up and catch her watching me again. Marley’s eyes are shiny blue with concern and patience lingering in their depths, they are questioning but not pushing for me to say anything. My breath catches as I breathe out, feeling warmth at the kindness this woman is showing me. The woman smiles softly at me and squeezes my hand, reading my mood and accepting it. My eyebrows furrow, not really wanting to talk about things, I give her a look that I hope she can read. She nods squeezing my hand again before turning forward to call the next student up.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she whispers to me, “If it gets too much—”

“It's not you,” I say quietly, “I just remembered something I’d rather not linger on. It's stupid really. I should be over it but…”

Marley looks at me again, warm blue drawing me in, “Having emotions isn’t stupid, Lena. You feel for a reason. You just left her a few days ago right?”

I nod.

“Then,” she calmly tells me, “you’re trying to make sense of how you’re feeling by going over what happened. Just relax and feel what you feel. Make sense of it all slowly on your own time. Process it on your own will, okay? What isn’t going to help you is suppressing it, it’s not healthy.”

I sigh again, and chew on my lip for a second, “Okay. You’re right. Thanks, Marley.”

The woman smiles kindly at me then turns back to the student again. I stare at her for a few more seconds before doing the same. The tryouts go well, a few kids were pitchy while others have an attitude that didn’t fit well with any role. It was nice to see that Marley didn’t have any outward favorite for a role, but I could tell by the energy around her that she had a few she had her eye on. They were a bunch of talented kids, some more than others. It reminded me of the good times I had during school, singing my heart out on stage and being rewarded with applause. 

Halfway through rehearsals I started to mix well with the music teacher. Marley was kind to the kids but not to the degree where she didn’t give them a good critique. There were times where I would smile at her as she would shake in her seat in a funny dance while the music played. At times she would blink back tears from ballads that touched her just the right way, I would tug her hand and hold it between mine to calm her down. There was even an instance where one of the boys, Adrian, had struck a wrong chord with her and she looked about ready to stab his left testicle. In that instance I gave the boy a glare that would have Medusa cowering, Marley tugged on our joined hands and hugged them to her chest in gratitude. After that, Marley didn't release my hand but looked once in a while look up at me to check if I were okay. It warms my heart how kind she is to me.

Before I met Kara, affection wasn’t shown in my household at all. Whether it be from being the love child of my father or the Luthor’s already cold environment I never received much affection from my family. Hell, living with Sam and her mother wasn’t any better. Sam on occasions would hug me or lay with me close enough to feel the air around her but it wasn’t very physical. When I met Kara, she was very physically affectionate. She would hug me or kiss my cheek as a greeting and a goodbye.

Kara typically would place her hand on the crook of my elbow, making sure to bump our shoulders affectionately when I would use sarcasm against her. Then there were the not so friendly touches that to this day I didn’t know where to categorize. Fingers gliding over shoulders, hands on my lap a bit too high on my thigh, even kisses that were a bit oddly placed. It felt forced, then friendly, then teasing up until the last months where I would go out of my way to get away from her touch as it felt like her hands burned my skin.

Right now, Marley’s touch was soft and kind. It was very much needed right now and above all very comforting. I only hoped that my rough hand didn’t bother her, but as she hadn’t let go of my hand I could only assume it didn’t. I continue to watch Marley as she writes with her right hand and mine in her left, her tongue sticking adorably out of the corner of her mouth. I could feel the smirk on my face as she glances up at me, sensing my staring.

“What,” she asks with furrowed brows.

I say nothing but reach over to smooth the crease between her eyebrows. I then take the paper from her and call all the kids to the stage, ignoring Marley’s shocked face. I give my coworkers a look and they nod in understanding. They start packing up, chatting quietly as they do and I speak up to address the students.

“Alright, I think we have a list for who is in and who we’d like to see again. I think you all should go home, you all did a very fine job. Before you go, I’m sure you all understand that we have decided to pick who fits the role best in both attitude and signing ability. There’s no point putting a Sandy as a Rizzo, right,” I tell them, after they nod in agreement as I continue, “Okay then, I hope you all have a good weekend. If you need anything you now know my door is now open for you guys. You are dismissed.”

Jack comes up to us and lets us know they’re leaving, we exchange our goodbyes and I tell them to go to the Jeep. Once they are gone, Marley and I wait for the students to leave. I watch as the kids grab their things and become a steady flow out of the auditorium. They draw a smile from me as some of them chat and play around with each other on the way out. Once the last student leaves I turn to look at Marley, still watching me intently.

“Thank you,” I tell her, standing while tugging her to follow, “It a bit surprising how quickly you read my mood.”

Marley blushes but smiles, “Yeah. I guess you're easy to read, in my perspective I mean.”

“I don’t know how to feel about that,” I tell her, “What if I don’t want you to know something?”

The woman laughs softly, “Well I guess you won’t be able to.”

I turn around from our way off the stage with a raised eyebrow, “I guess I have to think of something then.”

Marley smiles brightly, enjoying our back and forth. Slowly, she tugs on my hand and pulls me towards her. I’m a foot away from her when she leans forward to hug me. My arms automatically wrapped around her waist, enjoying the way she hides her face on the side of my neck. We stay there, under the bright spotlight wrapped around each other. Somehow I end up rocking us back and forth, humming a soft tune while she plays with my hair.

“You looked like you needed a hug,” Marley whispers near my ear, “You’re really warm.”

I cough, remembering another blue-eyed girl telling me the same thing.

Marley ignores my slight bout of PTSD and continues with, “That explains why I don’t see you wearing heavy jackets in this feezing weather. I was concerned you know.”

I chuckle, happy that she caught my attention again, “Yeah. I get hot easily too. Just wait until you see me in the Summer.”

Marley giggles and pulls away, a bright smile reaches her eyes as she looks down to me. For some reason the height difference doesn't bother me, which is odd because it usually did with Kara and our friends. I shake my head at her and walk backstage with the music teacher on my tail. I find my guitar and my leather work bag, collect them both and wait for Marley to get her own things.

The walk out to the faculty parking is quiet but sometimes to comfortable silence is broken when Marley asks me a question or two. I make things more interesting my teasing her or saying a random thing to make her laugh. Her laugh is warm and soft, the kind that draws your attention from across the room. I enjoy making her laugh, it seems easy as we walk to her car. It’s when we get to her car when I become speechless.

“T-that’s your car,” I gape.

Marley bites her lip and nods, “Yeah. A present.”

“A present,” I squeak, “From who? The Queen? Your long lost cousin from Nigeria?”

Marley laughs at the last jab, “No. A friend.”

I give the taller woman a look and she sighs.

“Okay, right I’ll tell you but promise you won't say anything to anyone else,” she tells me with a serious expression on her face.

I narrow my eyes but stick out my pinky for her to take. She smiles and follow along, pinky promising for the second time today. She pulls back and looks over the red Jaguar with a fond expression. I glance at it for a second too, remembering the same car picking me up from the airport my senior year. 

“I write songs under a stage name,” she says, “I was actually signed onto a record label a few years ago, right out of high school actually. You ever heard of Mercedes Jones?”

I fell my eyebrows touch my hairline, “Yeah. You’re on her label?”

Marley shrugs, “Yes and no. I have a contract with them. I write songs and get royalties from them. Some of my work has hit the top ten actually.”

I blink, flabbergasted, “And this was a gift from…”

“Mercedes. Her debut album to be specific,” Marly girns, “It hit number one in the first week, remember?”

“Oh my god,” I gasp.

“What? Am I freaking you out,” Marley asks with wide eyes, “I didn’t want to tell you earlier for that reason! I really don’t want you to act diffren—”

“I let you hear my shitty song,” I groan, throwing my head back, “I’m going home and drowning myself in the river.”

It's quiet around us then suddenly I hear Marley burst out laughing. I look back at her and see her whole body shaking from her mirth, hands spread on the hood of her car. I feel annoyed but at the same time can’t help but let her have this fit of laughter, she looks cute like this. Marley is still snickering when she turns to me again.

“Oh Lena,” she wipes a small tear from her eye, “From everything I just said, you're embarrassed by singing me your song? Which may I add, I complimented? You’re one of a kind, Lena.”

I blush but ignore the compliment, “So you're famous? Well, your work is famous. When do you work?”

Marley rolls her eyes, “The Summer break, silly.”

I stare at her for a moment then chuckled, “Yeah I guess I am silly.”

The woman smiles, “So are you going to The Trebel Cliff?”

“The what,” I ask, the name sound familiar to me.

“You know. The lounge Jack’s band plays,” she says, seeing that I don’t understand she continues, “They play there every Saturday night. They play for an hour or so then the mic is open for anyone to go up. Mostly, everyone our age goes, it’s a happy hour of sorts. Not to mention the night scene that happens during the same time.”

“I don’t know,” I hesitate, “I kind of wanted to go shopping for some stuff. I might take longer than expected and not make it.”

“Oh,” Marley sighs, “Well if not this Saturday, then you should come next week. I think you’ll like it.”

My eyes narrow playfully, “Like I liked playing camp counselor with you just now?”

The woman shoves me softly, “Whatever! Act like you didn’t but I can see under the tough aloof art teacher act you enjoyed it.”

I sigh, “Okay fine, but only a little.”

“Well then,” she smiles at me, “I hope I see you tomorrow night, but if I don’t I hope you have a nice shopping trip.”

I nod at the woman, “Yeah. Thanks. I’ll see you then.”

Marley laughs again then pulls me in for another hug. I relax into it with ease and rub her back as she pulls away. I walk her to the driver side and wait for her to get in then push the door closed softly after. Marley gives me a wave and I walk in the direction of my Jeep, Jack, and the others waiting for me. 

“Well, that was new,” Jess smirks once I’m at my Jeep.

I roll my eyes but look over to see Marley driving out of the parking lot and onto the main, and only really, road. I watch the car until it gets lost in the heavy traffic.

“Ah, now I get it,” Jack laughs, “You’re ‘Hot For Teacher,’ Lena?”

I groan as the band laughs. The laughing grows harder as I push Jack into the door of my car. I ignore them as I open the vehicle and get it, half tempted to drive off when Jack opens the back seat door. 

You’re a good person Lena.

A good person that fucked the sister of—

Okay! Okay! 

“We’re ready,” Andy says from the back seat.

I pull out of the parking lot without a word, heading to the townhouse. The group is oddly quiet, I had taken to driving them and their stuff around this past week and during this time they usually don’t shut up. Curious but apprehensive I look up at the rearview mirror and see all four musicians staring at me. I glance over to my right and see Jess smirking out the window.

“Fine,” I groan, “I ran into her Tuesday. Didn’t see her until today. She asked me to help her with Glee and Theater since I didn’t look like a creep and I showed up. There! Happy?”

“Nope,” Susan laughs, “Not until you tell us how you managed to get that woman’s attention for more than ten minutes!”

The group laughs and I just furrow my brows. Jess takes pity on me and speaks up next.

“Marley hasn’t dated anyone since she got here August. Simon, the basketball coach, has hit on her many times but she just brushes it away by saying she’s not looking to date right now,” Jess pauses for a moment, “What happened right now is out of character, even from her. I mean Marley is sweet and affectionate, once she knows you. You two just met right?”

I nod.

“Then she probably likes you,” Andy smirks.

“Yeah, sure,” I roll my eyes.

“Oh come on Lena,” Margie taps my shoulder, “She was giving you doe eyes and was drooling when you sang! If that doesn't mean she’s hung up on you then I’m a polar bear!”

A polar bear?

Colorado is strange.

Or maybe it's just the weed-infused in the air…

“Even if she does like me,” I speak up before they start going again, “I really can’t date her. Well, at least not now.”

“Why,” Jess asks, “I mean you guys clicked right now. What's up?”

I sigh as I pull up to the house and stay seated. The others stay still and wait patiently for me to answer. I look over at Jess and see kind brown eyes watching me. I look over to the guys and see them with the same look. 

I can’t say I haven’t had a soft spot grow for them during the past few days. Jack was like an annoying older brother, everything I wished Lex was. Jess was kind and motherly just like Sam. But unlike Sam, Jess could read my mood quickly and easily slot into place as a best friend. Andy was cooky and childlike, to him the world was simple beats and thoughts. Margie was from another world constantly floaty but wise like Luna Lovegood came to life only in Hispanic form. As for Susan, she was the kind of girl that you thought you knew but then found out had multiple Insane Clown Posse in her closet.

I stare at them for a moment then get out the car, signaling them to follow. I have a group of teachers in their twenties follow me into the house. I turn to the living room and pull out my phone from my bag. As they settle down on the variety of seats I find the picture from before. I stare at it and feel a pain in my heart, memories both good and bad hit me like a ton of bricks.

“I can’t date Marley because she reminds me of someone,” I say slowly, “I’m trying to move on first if I even think about doing that.”

I look up from the screen and see them all staring at me. I hand Jess, who is the closest, my phone with the picture face up. I watch as Jess looks positively floored staring wide-eyed at the screen. The others become impatient so Andy takes the phone and settles back on the couch, Susan, Margie, and Jack looking over and around him to see. The same reaction happens again, all four stare down at the picture with hanging jaws and wide eyes. In an oddly staged creation, they all look up at me at the same time.

“What the hell,” Andy gasps, “Who? What? How?”

I look over at the expressions, trying to gauge how to proceed. Jack has his eyebrows furrowed taking under his breath. Susan is blinking like something is in her eye. Andy looks like a cartoon character with his slumped over body. Jess looks a bit like a shocked heires, politely trying not to look shocked but her wide eyes betray her straight up seating position. Finally, Margie has her head tilted to the side like a confused puppy and mouth wide open.

I laugh, now finding the whole situation funny as hell their expressions not helping at all. The laughing suddenly touches the hidden part of me that is stunned but also finds this fucked up situation fitting for my fucked up life, so I start shaking to the core with laughter. I throw back my head letting loose a loud howl of laughter. I have tears in my eyes when I finally settle down, completely aware that I look like a cray lunatic that escaped the crazy house recently.

I’m still chuckling when I speak up, “Sorry, it's just all fucked up. Um, yeah. That’s not Marley. That’s Kara.”

“Oh,” Susan gasps, “It’s a gay thing, right?”

At that comment, I fell annoyed but brings another chuckle from me. 

I lick my lips and nod, “Uh, yeah. Gay thing.”

“Oh honey,” Andy says standing up, sounding like the gay man he is, “Straight girl crushes are the worst.”

The tall man takes me into his arms like a child and hugs me tightly. The scent of his cologne is as comforting as his warmth. I can’t help but hug him back as he rocks up back and forth, exactly like I had done with Marley earlier. 

“There, there,” Andy coos while patting my back, “No straight girls will be coming after you now, Lee.”

It sounds silly but for some reason, I feel my eyes welling up with tears. I hide my face in this stong and lean chest as tears slowly falling. Andy seems to understand I was going to do that so he walks back to sit on the couch pulling me on his lap. The action breaks the barrier I had my hidden my feelings and I start sobbing. Soft hands join Andy’s on my back as the others whisper words of comfort, letting me cry it out with no shame. With my eyes closed, I listen to these people I have only known for a few days yet trust them with all I have left. 

I slowly calm down and breathe out slowly, “S—sorry.”

“Its okay Lena,” Jess says from my left, “You’ve probably held this back for too long…”

“Yeah,” I hiccup, “The better or I guess worst part of seven years.”

“Seven years,” Jack says outraged like an older brother, “She played with you for seven years? What the hell! That’s messed up!”

“It’s not her fault though,” I say, they all give me withering look so I continue, “I mean, I knew how I felt about her right? Then I had some part of the blame. I could have, I don’t know, distanced myself.”  
“You were a kid Lena,” Jack insists, sitting on the floor in front of me, “You got attached, most likely from being held at arm’s length from your parents.”

I furrow my eyebrows in question and Jack gives me a knowing look. I sigh and nod.

Jack continues, “I can’t tell you something you already know, but I can tell you Marley is a kind woman. I know you’re keeping Marley at arm’s length. You think we didn’t find it odd that you keep avoiding the Music room?”

“Ugh,” I say, rubbing the back of neck nervously, “Right.”

The girls laugh and Andy pats my back again.

“Take your time,” Jack says, “She won’t push you into anything. Have you talked to her?”

I nod, “Yeah. She knows. It’s funny though, but I can see the differences between them. It’s not that they look alike that makes it hard. It’s just, it feels so easy to like her. I don’t want to jump into anything if I’m still feeling things for Kara. That wouldn’t be fair to Marley.”

Jess smiles, “Well then there’s not a problem. Take your time. Work out, play your music, go out, do normal things. You’ll be fine Lena, your strong.”

I smile at her then look at the others with a content smile.

“And you guys will help right,” I ask with a smile.

Susan giggles and hugs me from behind, “Only if you sing with us tomorrow.”

I roll my eyes, “Of course the gangster white girl wants my soul in return.”

Jack laughs out loud, the others guffawing too.

I shake my head, “I don’t think I can guys. I have things to do. I need to take buy some things for my room and some parts for the Jeep, so the snow won’t mess up my baby. I have to pick up some stuff from the instrument shop so I can fix what got messed up during the move. Oh, and I have to the bank to finish setting up my direct deposit for work. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

Andy nods, “Alright, but at least come and watch. Marley is singing with us tonight.”

I blink, “Marley?”

Jack smirks, “Yeah, your girlfriend.”

I groan again while the others laugh, “You suck.”


	11. Calling Ms. Brennan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I've got two chapters for you guys this time. This one and the next one which I will post Thursday (hopefully).
> 
> As always, let me know if there are any mistakes!

I stay with my friends for an hour or two, listening to them practice their setlist for their coming performance. I smile through it all, enjoying Jess’ voice mix with Jacks easily. Anyone could tell how long they have been playing together with the way they all moved silently to adjust to any misstep the occurred. It reminded me of my old band, the one I had with James, Winn and Leslie.

James and Leslie had joined of friend group last, which by then was just Winn, Kara, Sam, Alex, and I. James had become friends with Kara in Journalism, easily entranced by the girl just as I was. It was a bit comforting how after they dated for a month or two, he was ultimately dumped by the blonde as well. We became good friends after that, coming together to glare at whatever arm candy Kara had that week. Leslie, on the other hand, became friends with Alex’s girlfriend, Maggie. The girl was rough and a total party girl but honest and funny. Though I kept Leslie at an arm’s length, I had respect towards her as she never talked down or up to me because of my name.

As I watch Susan shred her guitar again, I remember how Leslie asked me to play with her for a Glee duet when we were paired. Two guitars matching stride for stride captivated not only our audience but both of us as well, so we decided to keep at it and ultimately James and Winn joined in. Winn who is a dork in every way, shape, and size, somehow channeled his inner rock star and emitted a cool exterior when on his neon blue base. James, on the other hand, had a lot of energy and so the drums became his forte, directing us on the speed of the song just came naturally to him.

Winn’s stupid name, _Super Friends_ , had stuck and ultimately became our name. I remember how exaggerated Leslie’s reaction was to hear the name, eyes rolling back so hard she could see her spine. I found it fitting, as our other friends from Glee would sometimes participate with us. We became a staple at our Glee practice in a few months that we typically would provide the music during club time instead of playing instrumentals off the old boom box we had in the room.

I let my mind take me through long nights of playing in Leslie’s garage then to playing outside during lunch as a treat for the student body. A smile creeps onto my face as I remember the instant ‘hottie’ status we all received after the first time we played outside the club walls. We each had our own fan club of sorts, mine easily the largest like any typical frontman would have. I used to find it annoying at having girls throw themselves at me, most likely stemming from the large crush I had on Kara. How would one woo a person they like when they have a pack of young women glaring at her all day? But now that I’m older and have started to make amends with how I felt, I thought about how much of a little player I could have been if I had looked around me and not at Kara all day long.

I shake my head in amusement and stand up. I make a sign to them and make my way up to the first floor. The sound of music can be heard almost as clearly as the door was wide open to let the music flow out.

“Alright,” I say to myself, “What to eat?”

Making my way to the kitchen, I decided to treat the band of misfits with some homemade pizza. I reach the kitchen and quickly get to work, pulling out flour for dough and tomatoes to boil. The smell of spices quickly takes over the first floor and make the house smell delightful. I leave my mind free to daydream for the first time in a while, hearing notes and seeing colors in the forefront of my mind. I can see pictures to be made and chords to be played.

Cooking is easy to me. It’s a science that once the basic formula is mastered, you are allowed to change it to appease your taste. I picked up the skill with Kara, the girl not being a little bit blessed in the culinary skill had left me wanting to impress her with mine. That was the main reason I joined Home Education Junior year. Funny thing was that I had a knack for cooking and sewing, something that my tomboy self didn’t exactly mirror. Another memory plays back to me at that moment.

___________________________________.

_“Don’t move or I'll stab you,” I huff at the man child, my hands trying to mark the length just right._

_“I’m tired,” he grunts._

_“Want me to wake you up,” I glare up at him._

_Mike blushes and shakes his head. I nod, satisfied that my threat quiets him down again. I can feel Kara’s stare on us, praying that I don’t kill her boy-toy. I smirk to myself and ‘accidently’ push the pin a little too far into the textile._

_“Oww!”_

_“I told you not to move,” I say with fake concern, “Dumbass.”_

_“Lena!”_

_I roll my eyes and ignore Kara’s rant about not hurting the jock._

_____________________________________.

The smirk from my memory echoes on my face now as I put in the first two pizzas in the oven. I set the robot shaped timer on the stove and start cleaning up. Under my breath, I start humming to a song from that memory.

“’ Westside Story,’” a voice startles me.

I tense a little but relax when I look up and see Jess enter the kitchen. I smile and nod at her, still moving about the kitchen. The teacher nods back then watches me for a second before joining me in cleaning. We stay busy while humming together to the song. Jess’s voice is a few steps higher than mine but mixes well enough as we hum. It takes half the time to clean if it was just me, so by the time we’re done the timer rings and I’m pulling out my creations then sticking the last two in after them. Jess gives me an impressed look but doesn’t say anything rather she proceeds to make a salad to accompany the pizza.

I stay there watching her for a minute before speaking up, “How long have you been at the school?”

Jess glances up then looks back at the celery she’s cutting, “This will be my third year and Jack’s fifth. Margie will be here for five too. Andy and Susan have been here longer then Jack, they’ve been there for I think almost ten years?”

“Wow,” I gape, “Andy and Susan look young, like around Jack’s age.”

Jess smiles, “I blame the hot springs.”

“Hot springs,” I ask, “There are hot springs nearby?”

“Yup,” the math teacher nods, “All around the mountains. There is a spa retreat up on Purgatory, we get a discount for the year membership. We can go sometime soon if you’d like. A spa trip? The springs are naturally made, and some are big enough to swim in—”

“NOPE,” I deadpan, “Can’t sorry.”

Jess stops her cutting and looks up at me. We stay locked in our gazes when she starts snickering.

“You can’t swim” she smirks, “A Californian who can’t swim? What’s next? A Texan that can’t barbeque?”

“Shut up,” I groan, “I saw no use for it. I was always home and didn’t like the sun much.”

Jess continues to stare at me, trying to read my expression. I just make my face blank to prevent her to read me. Jess sighs and nods before letting it go.

“They have places to sit and relax too,” she tells me, “You can just chill and enjoy the warm water if you’d like that instead. Me and the girls go regularly.”

I narrow my eyes, “Don’t tell me that you guys go Russian; go in the middle of winter when it’s snowing and take a swim.”

Jess smiles and I shake as if feeling the cold winter air on my skin. Jess laughs then, enjoying my reaction. The woman continues chopping away, asking me about my time in Boulder or life in general. By the time the first two pizzas cool off, the next two are out and the salad is made.

I leave Jess to call the others into the kitchen while I set up the table for all of us to eat. The house is filled with chatter a moment later. Happy bellies and peacefully blissed out ears are the staple to this house now, a nice environment for all to enjoy. I keep engaged with the conversations going around but as I finish my third slice, I feel tired and just want to go rest in my room. I excuse myself and thank Jack for offering to clean up after everyone is done, they didn’t cook he points out so it’s only fair.

In my room I feel all of today’s events falling onto me. I shed all my clothes and put on some sweats so I can get to grading so I have no work over the weekend. As I put my bag on my desk, I notice that the zipper is slightly open on the front pocket. Confused, I slowly open the pocket and see a pack of brand-new guitar strings with a note.

**I noticed you need new strings, Ms. Brennan. I hope you don’t mind taking some of mine?**

“Marley,” I smile softly, “You sneak, how did you…”

I try to remember when she wasn’t next to me and could only come up one conclusion.

I roll my eyes, “Need a hug my ass!”

I laugh to myself and look over at the perfectly written row of nine number at the bottom. Shaking my head and biting my lip seems to be a permanent state when thinking of Marley, but I accept it now.

“What are you doing to me Marley Rose,” I whisper, “First you scare the crap out of me. Then you charm me with that smile. And now…”

Forceful ringing begins to drown out my spoken thoughts. I look around and see my cell phone flashing on my bed. I raise an eyebrow and go pick up my phone. The number on the screen is unknown, but the area code is familiar. The feeling of dread fills me as I come to the conclusion of who it might be. I stare at the screen, deciding to answer or not. I sigh and decide that if I don’t like what I hear I can just block her anyway.

“Hello,” I answer

_“FINALLY! Jesus Lena, do you know how many favors I had to call in to get this number?”_

I stare at the floor, contemplating if I should hang up or not.

 _“Don’t you dare hang up Lena,”_ Alex growls, _“I will not call up my ex again to get your next number.”_

“Then why call Maggie in the first place,” I counter.

 _“Because,”_ the woman hisses, _“Your cousin is a mess, pregnant and about to be disinherited! Did you even thin—”_

“Did she even think when she outed me to our parents,” I counter, angry about being reprimanded.

 _“Lena,”_ she says a bit more in control now, _“That was three years ago, I think you can let it go now.”_

I scoff, “Sure, sure. I’ll let it go when Lex allows me to pick up my mother’s belongings at the estate.”

Alex’s seething can be heard through the line, _“Lena can you just for—”_

“If you care so much about her then take her in!”

 _“She won’t let me,”_ the RN huffs _, “I tried, and she doesn’t want to stay with me. She can’t even look me in the eyes.”_

I glare at the wall, “Well that sounds like a ‘you’ problem doesn’t it?"

_“Its an ‘us’ problem and you know it.”_

I growl then “Fine. What do you want?”

_“I want to know wher—”_

“No.”

_“No?”_

“Yes to the no.”

_“Why—”_

“I’d like my life very much Danvers Free, thank you,” I huff, “I already fucked up by going with your sister and fucking you messed me up even more. So no, I won’t let you know where I am. If Sam wants to come here with me, I’ll set up a plane ticket.”

The line stays quiet for a moment then a shuffling of the phone being passed occurs.

 _“Lena,”_ Eliza says as she takes the phone, _“I know—”_

“No, you don’t,” I tell her, “You don’t know how your supposed friend’s mother, who said you could call her ‘mom’, would constantly tell you how proud of your straight daughter you are in front of you. How she would push her to date all the guys in the world so she could get rid of the bi. Heaven forbid she would have a gay daughter and a bisexual one! You know what Eliza I don’t give a shit. Okay? If my cousin needs me then she will call me with the number your daughter got illegally, okay?”

The woman stays quiet the releases a heavy sigh, _“Okay. We’ll pass along the number.”_

“Good, that’s all I want,” I cross my arms, “Can I speak to Alex again?”

Without another word the phone passes back again and I roll my eyes.

 _“Sorry Lena,”_ Alex apologizes, _“Kara is—”_

“Alex, talk to me about you. Or Sam, hell even Maggie but not your sister,” I cut her off again, “I’m living my life and don’t want to know about her until I’m ready okay? I’m happy right now and it's only been a week.”

Alex contemplates this for a moment, _“Okay Lena. I just want to know if your fine.”_

“Good,” I nod, “I’m good. I have a good job; I have friends and roommates. I’m getting along fine. Tell Sam to call me.”

 _“Okay,”_ she says, _“I guess I’ll—”_

“Don’t delete the number.”

_“What?”_

“Don’t get rid of the number,” I tell her, “I trust you, gay to gay. You know?”

She laughs softly and I smile, _“Yeah.”_

“Okay, well I have to go. I have a ton of papers to grade and my back is hurting again,” I tell her, “Call me if you need me?”

 _“Yeah. I’ll call. Don’t worry about Sam, I got her.”_ She tells me.

“I know. I trust you. Remember?”

We stay on the line for a moment, not speaking when I finally talk again.

“I’m sorry, for sleeping with you,” I shake my head, “You were hurt, and I took advantage of that—”

 _“We were both hurt Lena,”_ she says, _“I know my mom thinks she’s helping you move on, but I also know how much it hurts to see someone you love with another. There’s nothing to apologize for except running out on us without letting us know.”_

“Sorry for that then,” I smirk.

_“Right,”_ she laughs, _“Well get working and put some of that special lotion I gave you, it should help.”_

“Yes Dr. Danvers,” I tease.

_“Someday, Lena,”_ she responds.

“Soon.”

_“Soon.”_

I hear the line cut and pull away to stare at the screen. I sigh and add the contact under the appropriate name, hoping it won’t come and bit me on the butt later on. I sigh and shake my head with annoyance.

“And now all I need is Winn and Lucy to call,” I huff, “Damn you, you government agents!”

I sigh and turn to my work again, hoping that the night goes by just as quick as the grading ahead of me.


	12. Stargazing

The curtains in my room are non-existent so this I show I wake up with pear icing light blinding my eyes. I groan and get up, resigning myself to my fate, I decide to get on with my day as there is much to do. One of my hands goes up to my shoulder and the other to my small back. I stretch a little then lean forward with my hands in front of me as if to touch my toes. My spine pops softly and my shoulder aches but the action elevates my pain, the cold and high air pressure does not help old wounds. Finlay felling a bit better I stand up to grab my toiletries along with my bathrobe and towel, walking groggily to the bathroom across the hallway.

The shower is hot and steamy, the only kind I can tolerate while my bones and muscles ache. I mentally decide to look for a chiropractor after making sure my insurance is set up today as well. The water warms my cold body and somehow brings some peace into my soul. The shower I take is long and needed after a long week and helps kick start my system as I get back to my room and change into warm street clothes.

I choose warm thermals over my bra and boy shorts to keep me warm in the snow along with another soft sweater and a pair of thick jeans. After fastening my Timbers and putting on my wristwatch, I grab my keys, wallet, and phone on my way to the upper floor.  I’m almost at my door when I remember the sticky note Marley attached to the set of strings she smuggled into my bag. I roll my eyes and walk back to my desk to pull the note out of my drawer. I look over the neat print and decide to add the number to my phone. A quick swipe seconds later and Marley has my number as well. I try to contain my giddiness as I walk up the stairs back on my journey for the day.

The upper part of the house is quiet, most likely from taking a well-deserved sleep in after waking up early all week. I smile to myself and make my way outside to my Jeep. The ground is frozen hard again, some fresh snow now powdered the driveway and my vehicle. I quickly and carefully walk to my baby and dust off as much as I can before heading in. I let the car run just as the days before as a means to allow the vehicle to heat up while I look through the things in my trunk.

My first instruments, a warm red-colored violin, and my Cherry Starburst Gibson have scratches on their surface along with missing strings. I sigh and make sure they are both strapped in to keep them from suffering any more.

“Don’t worry buddy,” I tell the old violin as I pat the case, “I’ll get you a nice insulated case soon.”

My heart hurt to think that the instrument’s wood had been bending and warping from the new weather to acclimate to the cold surroundings. I sigh again and get back in my Jeep, a quick glance to my passenger seat tells me I have all my papers needed for today. Suddenly my phone beeps and I take it from its spot in my cupholder to look at.

 

\------------------------------------------

**8:30 Marley**

**Your welcome Lena! I hope your day goes well and you make time to meet us for the concert.**

\------------------------------------------ 

 

I smile down at the message before placing my phone back in its seat. With a grin, I pull out of the driveway and onto the main road of Durango. The shops are wide awake as I drive through town, ready for tourists and early risers. I pass a few shops and people walking around, each wave as I pass by with kind smiles. I can’t help but to wave and smile back, I was part of the community now and happy to be so.

The first place I go to is the insurance place. After making sure my medical files have been transferred correctly along with my new address for my belongings and vehicle, I make sure to add Sam to my plan along with a new space for her unborn child. The reminder of going against Sam by sleeping with Alex doesn’t leave my mind as I do so.

_I really need to talk to her._

From there I go to the local credit union to have all my assets transferred to an account in the town. I received wide eyes and gaping mouths when the papers were passed from office hand to manager and back again. I thank god again that I changed my name beforehand as to keep them from connecting me to the Luthors. I try to ignore as the employees whisper among themselves while I send another text to Marley, this one lamenting the gossip hounds in such a small town. I receive a laughing gif along with a picture of her morning coffee. Luckily for me, the manager offers an apology and a direction to the best and nearest realtor in the town for my troubles.

Seeing that it’s likely that Sam will finally have to tell her mother about her pregnancy, I decide to go speak to the woman I’m directed to.  In the center of town, not far away from the café I met Jess, the real estate’s office sits across from the local weed bars. I smirk as I enter the place and allow the woman to introduce herself and begin seducing me into buying a home. Obviously, the woman was somehow related to the manager, but instead of being offended I’m charmed at how truly connect all the people were here. I take a few looks through books and choose a few cabins and homes to see at a later date before taking her card and continuing my errand run.

I make a quick pit stop at the café again for another coffee and a fresh bagel before driving across the large bridge into the second part of town that is separated by the long winding river. The music shop I end up at is small but looks well-seasoned as the sign outside brags about its fifty-year anniversary. I grin and pull both black cases out of my Jeep’s trunk and into the shop.

The shop is rather large on the inside, contrary to how the outside looks and had a great number of instruments of all types hanging on the walls or placed delicately on shelves or racks. I smile and look over a line of Gibson and Jackson strings that lead to a large grand piano in the center of the room. The piano is a classic black with a red lined bench. The bell on the door alerts the staff of my appearance as a young faces peak up from their polishing and arranging of boxes around the store. I smile kindly at them and walk to the long glass counter, a glance down gives me a sight of guitar picks, rosin, shoulder rests, pin rests and the like in all types and sizes. An older man, no older than what my father should be, walks out of the backspace and comes to stand in front of me.

Even with the freshly fallen foot of snow, the man is wearing a teal Hawaiian shirt with little navy blue sharks printed on it. His beard is grey in parts just like his hair, both cut short and tasteful for his age. His soft hazel eyes are warm as he smiles at me.

“Hello miss,” his rough voice greets, “How can we help you?”

I smile and pull up the two instruments side-by-side on the counter, “I’m new here, I work at the high school now. On the way here I had a bumpy drive and had to check all my belongings when I got here. I noticed that I had a few repairs for these two. I hope you can help?”

“Welcome then,” he extends his hand for a shake, “My name is Robert, ma’am. I’m sure I can help. Anything specific?”

I smile and shake his hand before opening the first case, “Lena, I insist. Well, my whammy bar is a bit loose—too loose actually. I like my vibratos too much I’m afraid. She also needs some new strings and has a few scratches on her. I don’t know if you can do a nice restoration—”

“Wow, she’s a beauty,” the man whistles, “Custom?”

I smile as he pulls my guitar out and inspects it, “Partially. It’s an original body, I just asked for a whammy connected to the endpin when I had it restored the first time.”

The man nods while gliding his fingers over the shiny surface, “Yeah I see the scratches. I can get a nice new coat on her to keep her from getting any more damage. The paint—”

“Another coat is good enough,” I cut in, “I like the scratches, they’re memories of sorts. I’m sure you understand.”

The man looks back up at me and nods, “Alight. I can get it done in a week. Make sure the inner is good by running it through the machine and clean the rust too.  Is that alright?”

“Perfect,” I smile then open the next case, “This one is my girl. My first instrument, so if you could please take the most care of her? She’s been with me since I was a child, about eight years old. She may not be a Stradivarius but she sounds like she is. She has a problem with her sound post. It fell over a few years ago and I need you to check it and add more glue to keep her strong. A clear coat on her could be good too since she’s chipping on me. Her strings are obviously old and need changing. I also need a new case for her since the cold and altitude might mess with her for a few weeks.”

Robert pulls out my girl with tender hands after placing my guitar back. He holds her and looks over her with attentive eyes. A few minutes later he nods and places her back in the case.

“Can do,” he nods, “Two weeks for her. I want to make sure the sound post is solid, so you won’t have to worry about it.”

I nod happily, “Alright then.”

The man nods and pulls out a pad and starts writing the work to be done. The price is far less than in the city but not too low for me to worry about his skill level. I sign the papers he gives me and slide my new debit card into his machine. The deposit is transferred and I shake hands with the man before he takes both instruments to the back to begin working.

I sigh and turn back to the instrument portion of the store and start looking at the guitars on the wall. My eye catches another Les Paul, this one multi-chrome painted. I grin and walk to the instrument. I take it off the hanger it’s on and strum the steel strings with my fingers. After a few minutes of checking out the instrument I signal to the closest employee, a young man the age of a college student, and he takes it along with a standard case.

With my hand raised I stop him, “Leave that case and get an insulated case instead. Also, I need three sets of steel strings, a tuning pin and two boxes of guitar picks along with three black shoulder straps.”

The boy stares at me with wide eyes for a moment then nods and does as I ask. I ignore the looks of the other employee, this one a young woman, and turn to look over at the piano. Its black surface is shiny and well taken care of. I look at the sign taped to it and laugh at the ‘if you can play like Mozart you may touch’ sign.

I smile and sit on the bench before playing a few scales on the keys. The smile on my face shifts to an angry one as I remember my reason for being here. I huff and start playing a song with force and power vibrating in each note.

_**My lover's got humor** _  
_**She's the giggle at a funeral** _  
_**Knows everybody's disapproval** _  
_**I should've worshiped her sooner** _  
_**If the Heavens ever did speak** _  
_**She is the last true mouthpiece** _  
_**Every Sunday's getting more bleak** _  
**_A fresh poison each week_ **  
_**"We were born sick", you heard them say it** _  
_**My church offers no absolutes** _  
_**She tells me 'worship in the bedroom'** _  
_**The only heaven I'll be sent to** _  
_**Is when I'm alone with you** _  
_**I was born sick, but I love it** _  
_**Command me to be well** _  
_**Amen, Amen, Amen** _

_________________________________________________________________________

 

**MIDVALE CALIFORNIA**

**FIVE YEARS AGO**

 

My Aunt allowed me to hang around with Kara only because of her budding friendship with Eliza. It appeared that they were both part of the same ministry, Eliza still partaking with her Christian faith even after marrying Jerimiah who was Jewish and Aunt Patricia as part of the Luthor family appearance. They found this out when Kara and I had to stay for Journalism one day and had been inseparable ever since. They would trade recipes and gossip over their afternoon tea—typical old lady behavior. This also resulted in the dragging all four of us everywhere as well, including church.

They would drag both sets of us daughters to church, Sam and I by Aunt Patricia and Kara and Alex by Eliza, at the crack of dawn wearing nice conservative dresses like the good Christian girls the wanted us to look like around their friends. We would sit toward the front as a group, the two older women at the aisle’s side where they could be seen by the other devotees, while us girls sat on the other side closest to the colored glass windows.

The service was always a snooze fest filled with bigotry and pigheadedness. Alex and I give each other side glance and face whenever something displeasuring would come up usually about Gay rights or woman rights and typically mumbled something as well. Kara and Sam, on the other hand, would give us glares for us to keep it down and would usually be the one’s reading out loud with the rest of the churchgoers as they were sitting in the middle and closest to their mothers.

This bond made it easy for Sam and I to be able to hang around with Alex and Kara almost every day. We would trad often, sometimes we would be at Sam’s home and others at the Danvers’ sisters. It was nice, usually lounging in backyards or porches. On a few occasions when we stayed the night, Alex and Kara would help us to sneak out onto the roof of the lower level of their house. Those nights would be filled with stargazing and stifled giggles to keep the Danvers parents asleep.

Sam and Alex, being older than Kara and me by a year, ended up going to Junior Prom with a group of their older friends. Kara and I decided to stay together for the night while the older girls had their own fun.

That’s how I ended up on the roof of the beach house next to Kara in my pajamas. The air was cool from the ocean nearby and allowed us to enjoy the new warm days of early Spring. I glance over at the other Sophomore girl a few times while she stared out into the starry sky. I could feel my heart pound as a realization came to me.

_You have to do it now. If you don’t do it now, you’ll just be strung along._

The thought sat in my head for the next half hour, marinating until I finally settled on my decision.

“Kara?”

“Hmm,” she hums at me as a response.

“Kara,” I call again.

The girl blinks rapidly then turns to me with a soft smile, “Yeah?”

“I—I uhm,” my mouth suddenly is dry as I speak, “I have to tell you something.”

Kara’s features turn encouraging at my stutter, “Sure, what is it?”

I sigh, “I uh—I like you.”

Kara bilks again then smiles, “I like you too Lena.”

I bite my lip and continue to stare at her. Kara’s head tilts to the side and a little crease appears between her furrowed eyebrows.

“Lee?”

“I like you,” I state again, “I like you, in a romantic way.”

Kara’s expression changes once more, this time shocked. I let her process the information for a moment then continue.

“I’ve liked you for a while, Kara. And I know you don’t feel the same way. I just wanted you to know how I feel because I’m an honest person and don’t like lying to you. I know if I don’t tell you now someone else will, so I thought it’s best to hear it from me. And don’t worry, I’ll try to reign it in. I want to be your friend Kara, that’s what I want the most from you,” I pause to glance over at the blonde, her blank stare pushes me to continue, “I like you, Kara. And it hurts. But I’ll get over it. Just have a little patience with me, okay?”

Kara finally sighs and nods at me with a small smile.

“Thanks for telling me Lena,” Kara says, “I’m sorry that I don’t feel the same way—”

“It’s okay Kara, you don’t have to feel sorry for me. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. It’s just something I have to deal with by myself,” I shrug now looking towards the beach, “I hope we can still be friends…”

A warm hand lands on my shoulder and softly squeezes it. I look up at Kara and see she’s smiling at me with a sad smile. Her bright eyes were slightly foggy with thoughts swirling in them, as if conflicted.

“Of course, Lena,” she sighs patiently, “I get it.”

I smile at her with relief and look back up at the stars, making sure that the tear trailing down my right cheek is unseen by the other teen. We spend the rest of the night there on the roof. I would point a constellation and Kara would squint as if to imagine the image I point out. The night ends with a hug and an awkward moment when I pull away from Kara as she was about to kiss my cheek as she had always done before.

That night I stay awake staring at the ceiling in Alex’s bed. I can hear Kara sleeping from her bed, dreaming about bunnies and stars and happy sunshine. I glance over at her and feel silent tears stream down my cheeks as my mind replays the conversation on the roof. I knew she didn’t feel the same, but my stupid heart still had hope. I sigh into the night and pull the soft blankets up to my chin. Another glance over to the sleeping girl across the room and I force my tear-filled eyes closed to sleep.

The following morning I curled into myself. I was polite and kept on eggshells long after leaving the house. Sam noticed and asked. That day I came out to her and she understood. She promised to listen when I felt bad and lent her my ear in return. I thanked the end of the year in a few months as I couldn’t stand to see Kara without feeling a knife cut into my chest. The worse part was looking up at Kara and catching her eye. I could tell the pain I was causing her as well, to feel guilty about her feelings. It wasn’t her fault that her friend had a giant crush on her. It wasn’t her fault that her friend was a disgusting girl that chose to like her out of all the female population of Midvale High School.

 _____________________________________________________________.

**_No masters or kings when the ritual begins_ **

**There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin**  
**In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene**  
**Only then I am human**  
**Only then I am clean**  
**Amen, Amen, Amen**

The song came to the last chorus and I keep trying to push back a few tears that the memory brought. My breath betrays me by hitching at a few words, but I push on and finish the song strongly.

**_Take me to church_ **

**_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_ **  
**_I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_ **  
**_Offer me that deathless death_ **  
**_Good God, let me give you my life_ **

 

I sigh and let the last notes ring in the air. My eyes open and I try not to flinch as find myself staring at Robert and the two employees. The old man simply smiles and notifies me of my purchases. I nod and get up to go pay. Once I pay for my new instrument and accessories, the young man helps me carry it all to my Jeep. I tip the boy as he leaves and sluggishly pull out of the shop’s parking space.

The rest of my day continues on. I go to the local Walmart and buy a few new pieces of furniture that needs replacing. A new lamp and a new stool end up in my trunk along with a new set of tools as I lost them on the way to Colorado. After paying and setting all my new items into my Jeep, I look around and notice the sun is setting. With a heavy sigh, I pull out my phone and check over the messages I received.

A few were from Jack and Jess, each included pictures of their band rehearsal. I smile as I open Marley’s contact tab and write a quick message before tucking my phone back in my jacket pocket. With a nod to myself, I decide to drop all my belongings at home before heading downtown to _Treble Cliff._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take Me to Church--Hozier


	13. Decided

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I would like to apologize for not updating in quite a while. I had personal issues occur and had very little inspiration as to what to write because of it. After some time off and getting a moment to figure out what I would like to do with this fic, I finally have a new update for all of you. I will try to update at least once a month. I apologize if it seems a bit off (I wrote half of it then finishes the rest these past few days) but I know now exactly where this fic is going so there is no need to worry if some things are left unanswered as they will be addressed in further chapters.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it and let me know if there are any errors for me to take care of! 
> 
> Locked out of Hevan-Bruno Mars
> 
> Hungry Like The Wolf--Duran Duran

The street I’m on is empty but I can see that passing the local candy shop there is a long trail of people are walking in the same direction. I glance over my shoulder and look at the hard case of my new guitar. I furrow my brows and try to decide if I should take it with me. I sigh and get out of my Jeep. Finally, I turn to the meter and put in two hours worth of quarters, knowing full well that it's useless as its past the hour for meter time but do so anyway as a habit.

My phone vibrates with the notification of a new message. I roll my eyes and start walking up the street making sure to lock my Jeep as I start walking. My phone vibrates two more times and I groan but take it out anyway. With a swipe of my thumb, I unlock my phone and look at the messages.

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**8:47 PM JESS**  
**Are you here yet?!**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**8:47 PM JESS**  
**It’s getting full here! Get here fast!**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**8:47 PM JESS**  
**Marley is here…**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

At my fiend’s last message, a rush of heat goes up my cheeks and I look around as if I had been caught doing something I shouldn’t do. I sigh and look back up then down to my screen. I decide to ignore Jess and her craziness and instead focus on reaching the bar.

The bar is easy enough to find: it has a flag hanging in front of its entrance that looks like a combination of the Pride flag and the Colorado state flag. There are a few people lined up to enter and are chatting away among their groups. I try not to gape at some men and women that are standing in line appear to be wearing shorts despite the freezing temperature. I calmly walk to stand behind the line and wait patiently. Once I’m in the front, the burly security guard asks for my ID and the cover to enter. I hand him both and wait for him to ‘okay’ me. 

With a wave of the guard’s hand, I’m motioned into the bar. I get a nice look from the entrance, as good of a look I can when the inside is packed to the brim with colorful people of all shapes and sizes. Deciding to text Jess of my arrival, I and make my way to the bar trying not to touch anyone. A bartender, woman dressed in a plain black shirt and jeans, nods to me as she finishes serving a group of young men. She approaches me and tosses the small cleaning rag into the sink in front of her.

“Evening. What are you having,” the bartender asks me.

“Black Russian, please,” I nod to her.

The woman furrows her brows but turns to make my order. As I wait for my drink, I pull out a fifty-dollar bill. This somehow catches the eyes of a few patrons as the turn to watch my interactions with the approaching bartender.

“Here you go Miss,” the woman says, placing the drink in front of me.

I nod and hand her the bill. The woman looks at it with wide eyes and looks up with shock. I don’t answer, instead, I carefully pull out my phone and drag the pad of my thumb on the screen. It and I start looking through my messages to find the ones Jess had sent me a few minutes ago. Before I can send a text the speakers of the bar become silent and then a man’s voice comes on. Thankfully, my seat at the bar allows me to see a tall man make his way through the mass of people and up the stairs of the stage.

“Hello, Hello! Welcome to _Treble Cliff_ where there is no judgment, only celebration,” the man says with a dramatic flair, “We have our local band _Maestro_ here tonight along with an hour of open mic for anyone who is _daring_ enough to get up here. So, without further ado, let’s get this night started!”

Applause and cheers fill the room and I see the bespectacled the man walk off the stage with a bow. The crowd cheers again as I see my friends make their way on stage. My eyes scan the area around the stage and see that the area around the stage is packed and impossible to push through. I huff and roll my eyes in defeat. Accepting that I will have to wait for the end of the show to approach, I ask for another refill and two shots of tequila. The woman nods and quickly grabs my order as my friends start playing the opening phrases. The clear liquor of tequila shots are placed in front of me first, so I quickly shoot one after the other and ignore the lemon wedges and salt shaker. The bartender raises her eyebrow at the action but hands me my drink anyway.

“Don’t worry,” I tell her, “I just needed something to keep me busy. This is pretty much all I’m taking tonight.”

The woman pauses then nods, “Alright, but I’m still keeping an eye on you.”

I raise a hand in understanding and swivel the barstool so I can see the stage. I’m pleasantly surprised to see Marley is singing with Jess singing back-up. The others are in their designated positions, Jack on bass, Margie on drums, Andy on the keyboard, and Susan on guitar. I smile as they start playing with the same amount and energy as they always do. My smile widens as I hear Marley’s angelic voice through the speakers take the first verse.

_**Never had much faith in love or miracles** _

_**Never wanna put my heart on the line** _

_**But swimming in your water is something spiritual** _

_**I'm born again every time you spend the night** _

My foot taps along with the song as the chorus comes up. I turn away from the stage and take a sip of my drink. The sound of Marley hitting her notes perfectly pulls my attention back to her. I can feel my eyes freeze on her as she takes her mic from the stand and dances her way to the center of the stage. The smirk she has on her lips sassy and she runs her hand through the skirt of her dress in a seductive way. I feel the sexual energy she’s building all on her own and can’t help but agree with a few people talking about how hot she looks tonight. 

I watch as Jess takes her own mic from the stand and struts up to Marley singing the chorus. I grin as they go back and forth taking each line while dancing. My eyes stay glued to Marley as she steals the show in the next verse with ease. Jess, obviously accustomed to this, continues to sing back up or take a few lines here and there as they approach the next chorus.

_**You bring me to my knees** _

_**You make me testify** _

_**You can make a sinner change his ways** _

_**Open up your gates 'cause I can't wait to see the light** _

_**And right there is where I wanna stay** _

My heart skips a beat when Marley graces the whole bar with a wink and shimmy of her shoulders. It's at this moment that it hits me how different she is to Kara. Seeing them both truly from the outside, I can see how drastically different they are. The teacher is more outgoing, yet sweet, but easily falls into a performer’s mindset when placed into the role. Meanwhile, Kara always had to psych herself up for any performance. Kara was good, amazing really, but she needed to place herself in the role not be placed in it out of her will. 

This is why when the band was created Kara was never involved. It was one of the few things I did that she didn’t do. It was easy for me to jump into any song and perform with my whole soul. Kara: not so much. 

I sigh and force myself to stay in the present. If I truly want to move on, I have to stop thinking about her. I have a group of good friends and even a woman interested in me. 

_See what you have and not what you don’t have._

My inner battle is pause for the moment when the bartender comes to stand next.

She turns to me then points to the stage with her chin, “You know them?”

I nod, “Yeah. I go to work with them.”

“OH,” she gasps, “You’re the new teacher?”

I furrow my brows and turn to her, “Uhm...”

She shakes her head, “Sorry. My little brother goes to the high school. He talked about you. His name is Todd. I don’t know if…”

“That trouble maker is yours,” I say with a raised eyebrow.

The woman laughs, “Yeah. You should be happy I’m not young enough to still be there! I taught him everything he knows!”

I shake my head with a smirk, “Well he can barely keep up with me so…”

“Oh I know,” the woman laughs, “Miss. Brenan already has a reputation for being a hardass.”

I can’t help but let out a belly laugh. The woman quickly joins in along with me before extending her hand towards me.

“Tanya,” she says with a smile, “It’s nice to meet you Miss…”

“Lena,” I smile back, “Lena Brenan. It's nice to meet you too Tanya.”

The woman takes her hand back and chuckles again, “I can’t wait to tell my wife I met my brother's tormentor.”

I guffaw, “What?”

“It’s true,” she exclaims, “You stopped him twice from pulling a prank!”

I furrow my brows and remember the times I caught the tall blond teen sneaking out between classes. Remembering the look on his face triggers another trail of laughter. The woman pats my arm then turns to tend the other few people near me. I smile and look back on stage. The next song starts and this time Marley takes over the whole song and Jess hangs back with Andy. I can feel my heart pulse to the sound of the bass and then shudder as Marley smiles brightly to the crowd.

The brunette starts singing with all her soul and the crowd beings to sing along with her. It’s no longer just her voice but for some reason, the song feels complete now. The crowd sways and bobs and punch up with happiness as they join Marley. I remember the times I would sing on stage with my friends and how we would get the same reaction. Kara never wanted to be in it, even after Sam and Alex took back up singer spots occasionally. I bite my lip and look down at the counter.

_See what you have, not what you don’t._

I blink and then wave to Tanya as she glances over at me. The woman nods and finishes serving the drinks in her hand. She comes up to me and I start talking.

“The host said there is an open mic,” I ask slowly.

Tanya raises a brow but nods, “Yeah. You want in?”

I nod, “Yeah. I want in. Is there any genre I need to stick to?”

“Nope,” the woman shakes her head, “It’s all yours once you're up there.”

I nod, “Alright. Can I go get my guitar and come back?”

“Sure, I’ll let Josh know upfront to let you in,” Tanya tells me. 

I smile, “Alright, be right back.”

The woman nods and takes my half-empty drink as I leave the table. I dodge my way out and nod to Josh the doorman on my way out. I look down at my watch and see that I have twenty minutes before my friends finish their set. With an impatient sigh, I pull out my keys and begin to jog down the streets of Durango to reach my Jeep.

___________________________________________________________.

**Marley POV**

“That was great!”

I smile and high-five Jess as we make our way to our table. The others follow us with the same amount of boasting. As we reach out table, Eve points to my phone on the table. My eyes widen and I half-jog the rest of the way. I can hear laughter from Jack, so I flip him the bird when I reach my phone.

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**11:07 PM QUEENIE**

**GOOD NEWS!! I GOT THE WEEK OFF!! I’LL SEE YOU IN MARCH MY DIVA!!**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**8:47 PM RBERRY-FABRAY**

**Good evening, Marley,**

**I just left the theater and wanted to let you know that Quinn has decided to rent a cabin for all of us to stay in. This way you can have most of your privacy in your own home. Kurt has offered to pay for the flight tickets, but Mercedes has demanded we use her privet jet. We will be leaving the weekend leading to the week your students’ theatrical debut. So, it is official: we will see you soon Marley!**

**I expect nothing but perfection when I arrive!**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**8:47 PM RBerry-Fabray**

**Please ignore Rachel’s State of The Union Address. Her hormones are kicking her in the ass and she has no control over it… I have first-hand experience. –Quinn**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**8:47 PM RBerry-Fabray**

**Marley,**

**Please ignore Quinn. She has been slept deprived for the past week due to her writing schedule.**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
**7:09 PM Kitt-Kat**

**I just heard from a little bird that you’ve got a thing for an art teacher…**  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

I try not to groan or pout as I look away from my phone. Somehow my disappointment reads on my face because all the band and Eve look at me with smirks.

“What,” I ask as innocently as I can.

“’ What,’ she says,” Andy snorts, “Like we can’t tell she’s upset that her Princess Charming didn’t show up.”

Jess covers her mouth with her hand while the others share a laugh. I shoot Jess a thankful smile then glare at my bandmates.

“You guys suck,” I growl.

This somehow causes them to laugh harder, this time Jess joins in. I furrow my eyebrows and Margie offers an explanation that makes me blush with pleasure and embarrassment.

“Lena said the same thing to us a while ago for basically the same thing,” the drummer gasps out between giggles.

I look away and ignore their jeering. My heart squeezes at the thought of Lena being teased by them for something similar. I open my mouth to retaliate when Chester walks up to all of us.

“Guys, someone is asking about you,” the dark man tells us, “She said she knows you?”

Jack stares at the equally tall man then grins as he turns to look at us. A warm feeling fills my chest, both excited and nervous. Chester sees the person and waves for them to come over. The band watches with large smiles as Lena pushes her way around the crowd and to the small area for VIPs near the stage. 

I take in Lena’s appearance, a soft and warm looking deep purple sweater under her thick denim jacket. Her dark jeans were tucked into her black boots and her hair was loose around her face. What caught my eye the most, however, was the shiny guitar case she had in her right hand. I look up and she catches my eyes and smiles at me with a wink. I feel a soft blush on my cheeks as she looks away to the others.

“Hey guys,” she greets with a wave, “Sorry I couldn’t get here early to be upfront. I had a ton to do but I bought a new guitar. A little birdie said that there was an open mic?”

Lena’s eyes turn to me and I see a small smile on her face. A beat passes and I feel the others stare at me with amused looks. I cough and try to hold back a blush, wishing for someone to take the heat away from me.

Jack, the saint, speaks up, “Yeah. Interested? We can play with you if you want.”

Lena grins, “Yeah, that would be cool. We rocked it last time. Think we can do it again?”

“Hell yeah,” Margie shouts.

We all laugh as she and Andy jog up the small flight of stairs of the stage with excited grins. Jack claps my back as he passes by me, followed by a wink from Susan as she follows him. 

“Well, I guess we’ll wait for you at the table,” Jess smirks as she turns around and leaves.

Lena watches me patiently until I look up and catch her gaze. I stay frozen as a soft smile blossoms on her lips. Her emerald eyes soften, and I feel tingles go up to my spine as she takes on of my hands. 

“You were amazing,” she tells me.

“U—ugh thanks,” I mumble, “I thought you wouldn’t make it?”

Lena smiles sadly, “Yeah. I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t.”

I raise my eyebrows at the confession but allow her to continue.

“Then I figured that the reason I was here was to start new and to move on,” she explains, “If I don’t put in the effort I’ll just end up like Mr. Newton.”

“Mr. Newton,” I ask with furrowed brows.

“Yeah,” she smirks, “He was one of my neighbors back in Midvale. His wife left him for a doctor, and he ended up turning into one of those old men that scream at you to get off their lawn.”

Somehow the comparison makes me laugh. Lena smiles and chuckles along with me. When we’re finally settled, she winks at me then sets the guitar case on a nearby table. I watch with rapt attention as she opens it and reveals a beautiful guitar. The darkness did little to show off the odd chrome color but as Lena pulls the instrument out, I could see the deep purple shift to bright yellow and then back.

“Wow,” I gape.

“Yeah,” she grins, “New adventure. A new friend.”

She smiles at me softly again and closes the case with a ‘snap.’

“You mind watching it,” she asks me.

I shake my head and she nods her head. I take the case and she winks at me again.

“Break a leg,” I tell her as she turns to the stage.

Lena stops and turns around with a small blush, “Please don’t jinx me.”

I frown, confused, and watch as she turns back around and jogs up the steps. Lena, with the help of Susan, sets up her guitar and one of the mics set up. A tug at the back of my blouse makes me turn around.

“Come on,” Jess tells me, “We’ve got a table, remember?”

“Right,” I blush.

Jess kindly pulls me to a table nearby, a table that had become ours as we were part of the bar’s permanent VIP list. The few people nearby compliment us and ask about the woman that has gone up the stage with the rest of our band. Jess tells them about Lena and they look interested. I simply listen and keep turning to watch Lena and the others on stage as they finish getting ready. After a few minutes, Lena walks up to the mic and speaks with her musical voice.

“Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, gentlepeople,” she says with a sexy smirk.

The bar patrons shout back their greetings and she waves with her left hand to the band.

“As you can see, I have a few friends here that you may know,” another round of jeers and applause, “I just met them a few weeks ago and we found out we’re very in sync and work very well. Would you like to hear it?”

The bar emits a louder round of confirmations and agreements. Lena lets out a soft laugh and nods to them.

“Good to hear,” she says, “My name is Lena. It’s a pleasure to be a part of this community and to play for you all tonight.”

The crowd shouts again and Andy beings playing on an electrical keyboard. The sound is familiar as Susan and Jack accompany him. Lena, meanwhile, bobs her head for a few measures before playing the melody while bouncing along to the song. The well-known song makes me laugh and I can hear Jess do the same. The song’s pop vibe gets the whole room happy and excited as I watch the other people in the room start bobbing up and down or swaying to the 80s song.

_**Dark in the city night is a wire** _

_**Steam in the subway earth is afire** _

_**Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo** _

_**Woman you want me give me a sign** _

_**And catch my breathing even closer behind** _

_**Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo** _

Jess stands up, followed along with the others in the VIP section, and pulls me up. I laugh and start dancing with her, singing along with Lena. The chorus booms through the speakers and Lena’s lovely voice mixes with the sound of many adults singing along. By the time she reaches the next verse, the VIP section as a whole crowd the stage from one side while the other two are filled by the regular patrons. 

Lena allows Susan to take the melody for a moment as she pulls the mic and crouches down to high-five the closest people near the stage. She stands up again and starts playing singing the next verse.

_**Stalked in the forest too close to hide** _

_**I'll be upon you by the moonlight side** _

_**Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo** _

_**High blood drumming on your skin it's so tight** _

_**You feel my heat I'm just a moment behind** _

_**Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo** _

The smile on my face grows as Susan and Jack walk up to stand next to Lena. All three sing the first half of the chorus into Lena’s mic, guitars, and bass pointing to the crowd as if posing for a photo. 

“Jesus,” Jess laughs in my ear, “It’s like they’ve been together forever!”

I nod eagerly at her and she smiles back with a fond look in her eyes. I turn back to the stage and see Lena, once again not playing, stalking the stage with while somehow dancing also. I grin as she turns to the VIP section and points her mic to us. We sing the last line to her as she nods along and signals the others to sing also.

Lena turns away, not before catching my eyes and winking at me, then pulls back her guitar to start playing. She closes her eyes as the band sings the bridge, allowing her to squeeze a solo that had the whole bar roaring with awe. My heart squeezes as I see her shred the strings like in the school’s auditorium. I bite my lip and feel that rush of puppy love goes through my veins. 

I try to push the feeling down when Lena opens her eyes and catches my stare. I gulp as she licks her lips and winks at me. I hear Jess gasp next to me as I turn red under Lena’s hypnotizing gaze. My eyes follow her as she releases the whammy bar on her guitar and licks down her fingertips and continues playing. When she finally looks away from me, a shiver runs through my spine that makes me stand up straighter in my spot.

_**Burning the ground I break from the crowd** _

_**I'm on the hunt down I'm after you** _

_**Scent and a sound** _

_**I'm lost and I'm found** _

_**And I'm hungry like the wolf** _

_**Strut on a line it's discord and rhyme** _

_**I'm on the hunt down I'm after you** _

_**Mouth is alive juices like wine** _

_**And I’m hugry like the wolf** _

“It looks like she’s decided,” Jess tells me.

I nod, lip still between my teeth, “Yeah. Look like…”


	14. Crazy. But good.

**Kara POV**

**SWISH!**

I hold back my clapping but smile sadly at the completed free throw that a white-shirted player made. My eyes follow another player, this one in all black, as she dodges the enemy teams overstretched hands and makes a break for the other hoop. Her teammates cover her as much as she can but her speed leaves even them in the dust. Her neon green shoes are a blur as they reflect off the shiny wooden floor and the orange ball hits right in front of each speeding foot.

The girl dodges a player from her left by spinning out of the way of the player's direction. She manages to bounce the basketball between the enemy players' feet to startle her before taking the shot with an evil smirk. 

**SWISH!**

A loud cheer erupts from the extra players on the stands as well as a few fans near me. I watch with a heavy heart as Lena fist bumps her teammates and gives a sultry wink to the group of girls swooning at her on the stands.

"She's a perfect fit. Don't you think?"

I blink and turn to my right. 

"Coach Stovall…"

The woman nods and waits for my response.

I look to my friend as she continues to grow the score distance between the two friendly teams.

"Yeah. She's a natural. She ends up winning whenever she and James play," I answer.

“I’m a bit shocked that it took her so long to choose to take part in the team,” Coach says.

Biting my lip for a second, I answer, “I’m happy for her.”

I feel the basketball coach stare at me so I continue.

“I’m happy she’s doing something she likes,” I whisper, “She usually just follows us instead of doing what she wants.”

“You’re okay with her pulling away from you, Kara,” the Coach asks.

“Yes,” I nod, “She’s one of my best friends. I want her to be happy just like she wants me to be. I just wish we were better at talking things out.”

“Well, why don’t you initiate things then,” the woman suggests, “You obviously know what is upsetting her.”

I shake my head, “Lena has her walls up. She won’t listen to anyone, not even me. I just have to wait until she’s ready to talk.”

The coach sighs, “I guess I can help.”

I furrow my brows at the older woman but receive only the answer of her standing up and walking away.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Kara?”

I pull away from the photograph I have in my hands and look up at my door. Standing in the entrance is my sister, Alex, wearing her work scrubs with her leather jacket over them. I look her over and notice her sleepless stare. She’s been taking more night shifts as part of her course work and our mother’s nagging hasn’t convinced her to take a break yet. 

I shake my head, “Yeah?”

“I called her. She answered.”

My bedroom becomes quiet as I read her eyes for a lie. Finding none I sigh again and look down at the photograph. The picture is one of the few captured a few weeks before the end of the year. In this one, Lena is in her letterman jacket with a smirk and was sitting down the recliner that still resides in my living room. Sitting on Lena’s lap is me and Alex with large grins smiling at the camera.

“What did she say?”

“Well we fought for a few minutes then I told her about Sam,” Alex says taking a seat next to me on the bed, “She wants Sam to know she’s welcome with her.”

I nod, “Good. I’m happy she forgave her.”

“Mom cut in.”

I turn my head to her quickly with wide eyes, “She what?”

“Mom took the phone from me,” Alex sighs, “Lena basically told her off and then mom passed the phone back to me. I tried to calm her down and she just said to call her when I need to and not to bring you up.”

“Did she sound okay,” I ask with a heavy heart.

“Yeah,” my sister nodded, “She said she’s doing fine and moving in the direction she needs to.”

I smile fondly at the picture in my hands, “Good. That’s all I wanted to know.”

“Are you sure about that,” Alex asks me.

“Well, I would like my best friend back,” I trail off, “But as long as she’s happy, then I’m happy.”

Alex scoffs, “You sound like a divorced wife!”

I roll my eyes, “I guess so. She left after the papers came through and now I’m stuck with all the annoying kids while she’s being a bachelor in who knows where.”

“Colorado.”

I blink, “Colorado?”

Alex looks guilty but nods, “Yeah. Maggie traced her name and found she changed it back to her old one. She’s in Colorado now.”

My eyes turn back to the picture. I stare at Lena’s face and somehow a distant memory flashes in my mind.

_**As soon as I’m done, Kara. I swear, I’m leaving them. Change my name. Move far away. Maybe go see the snow?** _

I can’t help but smile at the thought. 

“She did always run a few degrees hotter than us,” I scoff.

I hear Alex snort. 

“A total polar bear.”

I laugh and put the picture back in its spot: next to the picture of my engagement party.

_______________________________________________________________________________________ 

**LENA POV**

The cold air whips around Marley and I as I guide her to my Jeep. I can still hear the ringing of teasing from our friends as I offer the music teacher a ride home. Shaking my head, I turn to her.

“So what did you think,” I ask Marley, "Was I good? Did I suck? You promised to be honest to me, Ms. Rose."

“It was amazing,” she beams at me, “You keep leaving me impressed, Lena.”

I smile, “Good. I thought I lost my touch after so long of not performing.”

She furrows her brows, “When was the last time you performed?”

I look back forward, towards my Jeep, and think about that night. I feel a shiver run down my back as I remember how desperate I was that night. Desperate for the night to end. Desperate for it to not end.

“Lena?”

I blink and turn to her. Marley’s ocean eyes shine from the warm street lights and look worried. I sigh and shake my head.

_Start new._

“Almost four years ago,” I answer, “My final senior musical, right before the year ended.”

“You were in a musical in high school,” she asks with awe and surprise.

I smile at the cute look on her face, “Yeah. I was lead for all the productions actually.”

She grins brighter, “Which ones did you do?”

“Well we had two a year and I was in the theater club for three years. They were the usual ones, you know,” I shrug, “There was _Grease, Hairspray, Beauty and the Beast, Rent, The Sound of Music..._ ”

Marley stops and as do I. She looks at me confused then counts on her fingers. My heart skips a beat as I finally understand what caused her suspicions. I look away, praying she will let it go but she asks anyway.

“That’s only five,” she says, “You said you did two a year for three years. What was the sixth one?”

I sigh and look up at her. Marley’s eyes shine with understanding. I see she’s ready to ask but I shake my head and answer.

_”The Last Five Years._

“That’s different,” she stumbles out to say, “It’s a bit dark for high school theater…”

“I chose it.”

Marley blinks, “You chose it?”

“M-my f-father,” my voice stutters so I try again, “My father took me to the off-Broadway production a few months before I pitched it. His secretary's daughter was in the play and he thought of me when he heard about it. He took me out while my brother and stepmother had their own night out. It was my Christmas present from him. It was also the last Christmas with him. He died the following June. Right before my graduation.”

Marley stays quiet as I guide her to my Jeep. I can feel her glances as we reach it. I dutifully walk to her side and open her door. She thanks me and I slowly make my way to my side. The moment I get in the car and strap myself in, Marley turns to me.

“Any reason why you chose it,” she asks quietly, “If you want to share.”

I stare forward at the car and streets in front of us. I knew that I needed to be truthful to her in order to not only move on from Kara but also allow Marley to become closer to me. I nod slowly.

“Yeah. Kara and I....” I sigh and start again, “I had to leave the Summer before senior year because my dad was ill. I stayed with my family for the summer then came back to school. I had no contact from her or our friends. It was like I didn't exist. I already felt like that from my family so feeling that from my ‘Found Family’ didn’t feel good either.”

I pause and look down at my hands. Marley had taken my right hand into hers. I watch as she turns my hand over and rubs her thumbs over the fleshy part of my palm. The feeling calms me down and makes me realize that my other was in a fist just like the one she has. I relax my left hand on the steering wheel and continue, eyes never leaving Marley’s actions.

“I wanted a good answer, you know? But all I got was that they had fun and they didn’t miss me,” I mumble out, “She took her new boy toy for all their gatherings and it felt like I was replaced I guess? I don’t know. I just know I was jealous that he got what I always wanted. Even after so long of pining after her and finally accepting she wasn’t mine, it still hurt to see it in front of me. You know?

But, even as a friend it hurt, to be ignored. Somehow I always felt distant from them. Maybe due to my name or my family but I always felt that. I lashed out at her and pulled away. Next thing I knew it was two months into the semester and out on my ass because my family found out I was gay. I was so upset and had no one to talk to until my coach pushed me to fix things.

So I did. I fixed things, sort of. I was still detached. Far away. I had my walls up. Even if I was there nodding and smiling and laughing with them I wasn't really there. Winter came and father took me to the show. I understood Jamie, sympathized with him. He gave all he could to Kathy: love, money, support, and loyalty. He ignored temptation until it fell into his lap and he could no longer ignore it. He became weak and could no longer see the need for him in Kathy’s life, so he left.” 

“You feel like you did the same thing,” Marley speaks up again, “You felt like you gave up on her.”

I look up at the music teacher and nod, “Yeah. I guess it matched to what I was feeling...still feeling.”

Marley shakes her head, “You became distant, Lena. She did too. It’s part of growing up. Separating is part of growing up. She fell in love and was focused on that. You were in the middle of a family crisis and had no thoughts of dating or things senior high school students do. You did what you had to in your situation. You were young so things were difficult for you to process. She obviously didn’t know what she was doing either. You need to accept that your lives only--”

“Grazed for a moment but were not meant to linger,” I cut her off, “Yeah. I know that. I accept it. I know that we were kids and we were each in our own world. It just-”

“Doesn't make it hurt less,” she finishes for me, “Yeah. I know.”

I nod to her again. The space becomes quiet as we each marinate on what was said. For a moment, all the pain and anger I have kept in my heart softens and leaves me a little less heavy. I look up to the woman next to me and see her tracing the lines of my palm. Her brows are furrowed in concentration then she looks u at me and catches my stare. I count the patterns and colors in her pupils and then smile at her.

“Thank you,” I whisper, “I never really talked to anyone about this.”

Marley smiles back, “I told you that I'd listen.”

With a playful grin, she leans over the center console and kisses my cheek. Her warm lips touch my cold cheek with care. I feel a thrill but also a wave of peace as she pulls away. She smirks as she sees the small blush collecting in my cheeks.

“Come on, the ice is sticking again,” she nods to the window.

I nod and start the engine again. The heater turns on and bathes the cabin with cold air then hot air. I reluctantly pull my hand away from Marley and unpark to drive out of the downtown area. As I drive I feel a warm hand cover the one I have on the shift. I feel a wave of braveness overcome me and turn my hand over. I smile softly to myself as our fingers intertwine in a comforting way. We keep our hands together as I drive Marley home. 

The road to her house is a bit out of the town line but is well lit and not too close to the peaks of the mountain. The house is revealed to me by glowing outdoor lights surrounding the property. The large property was modern with its slanted roofs and different sized rooms. There were large floor to ceiling windows that allowed one to look inside. The wrap around deck was dusted with fresh snow all the way down to the lower floor and pathway. It reminded me of a similar property that the Luthors had in Aspen.

“Nice place,” I tell her.

She nods, “Cost a lot, but I fell in love with it. It has everything I need inside. It’s self-sufficient too.”

“Really,” I raise a brow.

Marley nods excitedly, “Yup. The roofs have sun tiles built into them and there's a water collection system in the back that connects to the river from the mountains.”

“So you could live here and not leave,” I gather, “Well, except for grocery shopping.”

“Yup. That’s why I fell in love with it. It’s modern and cozy too.”

I smile and pull up to the icy driveway. Parking the car and turning off the engine, I turn to her.

“Well, this is you, Ms. Rose.”

Marley turns to me then looks to her home. I watch, curious, as she looks back to me then to her home again.

“Stay.”

My eyes widen, “What?”

“The snow and ice are sticking,” she explains, “I’d be worried sick if I let you go alone in this weather. Humor me and stay the night?”

I look at the music teacher and see the worry she’s talking about. The little light around us makes her eyes shine in an almost navy color. A frown line appears above her eyebrows and wrinkles her forehead. Her rosy lips form a pout that makes my heart twitch just a bit. I sigh and look to her home.

“Okay,” I nod, “But only because you pouted.” 

She giggles and gets out of my Jeep. I shake my head as she skips around my car to my side and opens the door. A small hand reaches out to me and I allow her to guide me out and to her house. She only pulls me away for a few feet when I stop and pull away. I can feel her eyes follow me as I walk back to my car and pull out my new guitar. 

“Ah,” she hums, “I almost forgot about her.”

With a grin, I walk to her and take her hand again. Marley simply smiles at me and tugs me along again. She leads me to a hidden front door on the lower level. It’s hidden behind a nice decorative rock formation and covered front the falling snow. I watch as she opens the door with her keys and nods for me to follow. We enter a small sitting area that has a high ceiling and two doors, one made of glass showing the backyard and the other a thick oak door most likely leading to the indoor garage. 

I follow her as she walks up the small staircase to the upper floor. The second floor is made like a deck in which you could look over the half wall to look at the entrance. The interior is a mixture of an open floor plan with rustic design. The walls are made of wood and stone or brick. There's a large fireplace that takes up the farthest wall and goes up to the second floor. The stone facade around that makes up the fireplace continues into two halls on each side of it. I can see a rustic kitchen and elegant dining room on each side. The living room in front of me is warm and open. It has large and comfy looking couches, loveseats and recliners. I count a total of twelve seats, not including stools and bean bag chairs surrounding the fireplace.

“It’s really nice.”

She grins, “Yeah. I’ve got the nicest place with few people around so my friends come and visit regularly.”

“That explains why this house looks to have a hundred bedrooms,” I tease.

She giggles, “Six rooms.”

“Ah,” I fake offense, “Six. Of course. Good number.”

Marley pushes my shoulder playfully then starts taking off her outer clothes. She opens a closet near her and places the clothes inside. She gives me a look and I do as she says. Marley quickly places my things inside then walks me to the larger staircase. We walk up to the second floor and down the long hallway. She points out the recording room and private office she has. We pass a nice sized library filled with books and sheet music. The hallway expands to a nice sitting room that is surrounded by four doors and a hallway behind it.

“So these are the main guest rooms,” she nods to each of them, “In that hallway is my room and my mother’s for when she stays over. You can pick whichever. They are all fully stocked so you don’t have to worry about asking for towels or robes. I’ll go get you some pajamas so you can sleep comfy. Okay?”

I nod and watch as she continues to her room before looking at each door. I finally choose the one closest to where she went and open the door. The room is well-sized, about the size of my old room in the Luthor manor, and has its own bathroom. I smile as I look over the grey and midnight blue color scheme. The queen-sized bed is in the center of the room and has two intricately carved nightstands on each side. The headboard is just as beautiful with its dark wood color that matches that of the nightstands. The white sheets match the thick white rug the bed is on. A large window across from the entrance wall shows the snowy mountain tops through the darkness.

“Perfect.”

“Happy you like it.”

I jump at Marley’s voice. I turn around and give her a small glare as she comes completely inside. Marley places a set of warm looking PJs on the bed before hugging me goodnight. I stay standing there for a moment then shake my head and take the borrowed clothes with me to the bathroom. The bathroom looks bigger when I enter it but I have little care to look around. 

The hot water steams up the whole room and is welcomed onto my skin. The heat warms me up for a few minutes then I quickly wash up and redress in the borrowed clothes. I collect my clothes and fold them up to use tomorrow. Before heading off to sleep, I send a message to Jess and make sure my guitar is placed safely near an air vent. Once I have the lights off and am safely covered in warm blankets, I stare up at the ceiling.

“Crazy day,” I say out loud, “Crazy. But good.”


End file.
